Relinquish

My body shudders and stiffens with an incredible sensation that drives through my core. It tingles and is almost too much to handle, but I can’t help but want to keep pushing myself on his hands for more of it. Sparks ignite behind my eyes, my body riding a wave of indescribable ecstasy. But as soon as it came… it vanishes, leaving me a panting mess. Chasen turns away as I’m gasping against the wheel.

“Come here, Charlie,” he demands, unbuttoning his jeans. I close my mouth, my tongue sticking to the roof from my heavy breathing.

I pull myself off the tractor and stride toward him. His jeans are wrapped around his ankles as he fists his cock.

“Still won’t fuck me?” he questions with a salacious smirk. My eyebrows narrow inward, telling him no. “Then suck me. Give me that beautiful mouth of yours,” he pants, sliding his hand up and down his shaft.

I lower myself to my knees, the desert sand burning them. My eyes never leaving his, I grab the base of his cock and slowly cover the head with my tongue.

“You fucking tease,” he grunts, grabbing the back of my head and pushing my mouth all the way onto his dick. I smile around his length; the control I have is a high. I have never had control of anything in my life. But when it comes to this, using my body, I have control not only of myself, but the man who wants it, as well. I suck, and bob, and suck some more before I feel his cock tighten and pulse against my tongue. I close my eyes, preparing myself for the warmth about to spill into my mouth, but he pulls out instead. As soon as I open my eyes, I’m sprayed in the face with warm semen. Chasen grunts as he strokes himself, releasing little beads of sticky cum onto my face. I turn away and get it in my hair, causing him to chuckle, an arrogant smirk covering his face.

“It’s not fucking funny,” I respond angry, shoving him away from me. “Seriously?” I growl, trying to wipe the mess off my face.

“I’m sorry, babe. I was just messing around.” Chasen laughs, pushing my hair from my face.

After I wipe my face clean of what I could with my hands, Chasen pulls me up and lifts my face toward his.

“I gotta get home. I need my focus for tomorrow,” he explains.

“Yeah, okay. I understand,” I reply, still irritated.

We walk back to his truck and get in. The air conditioning caresses my sweaty body as he starts the engine.

Chasen pulls up to my apartment and parks. The sky is dark from the sun setting; the only thing I can see is the small glow from the café in the distance.

“You wanna come up?” I ask, looking over at him stretched out in his seat.

“Can’t, babe,” he responds, lifting up in his seat and messing with something in his back pocket.

“Your shoes,” he mentions, jerking his head toward my feet. I look down, noticing my worn-out flip-flops.

“Yeah, what about them?” I ask, confused.

Chasen pulls some cash out, throwing it on the seat. “Get you some better ones or something.” My mouth falls open at the eighty bucks sitting on the leather seat.

“You deserve something better,” he mutters, leaning over and kissing my forehead. I shut my mouth and look up at him, curious why he cares so much about my fucking shoes.

“My flip-flops are fine,” I assure.

“Then get something else,” he responds, giving me a wink and putting the truck into drive.

I haven’t been one to know much about what boyfriends and girlfriends do in a relationship. Hell, I don’t know what the hell you would even call Chasen and me, but I had a friend in high school who was always dating older guys. The men she went with would shower her in the finest jewelry and always gave her cash for spending. But who am I kidding? Jayden and I need the money so badly, who cares why Chasen’s giving it to me? I look at it and see food rather than shoes. With that, I grab the cash and stuff it down my shirt.

“See you around, Charlie.” I look up and find Chasen flashing a menacing smile.

I blink rapidly, his smile taking me aback, and shut the cab door.

***

Chasen showed up a couple times a week after that. He would take me somewhere, and before I knew what was happening, I was either giving him head or a hand job. Not every time, but most of the time he would return the favor, rubbing on me just right to make me obliterate into nothing but pleasure. He has asked me several times if I was ready to have sex, and every time, I told him no. I just wanted more than some quickie in the back of a truck. I wanted what you see in the movies. The unmistaken sparks that fly from touching one another, and a more romantic place than public. But realistically, I’m not fooling myself. I know that kind of romance doesn’t exist. What I need is to not be alone anymore. I want to be a part of something whole, and not broken.

He has bought me clothes, shoes, a cell phone, and even helped me with my rent. Jayden and I actually have some food in our fridge. We’d be starving or out on the streets without him. The next time we go out, I think I may give myself to him fully. Maybe. I don’t know.