By the time Ronan gets home, Scarlett is passed out on the sofa. I was admittedly drifting off too, unable to fight the exhaustion of the night any longer. But Rory was even more antsy than usual. Especially after he heard Scarlett tell the doc she needed a plan B pill.
Ronan walks right up to me and barely acknowledges Rory, except to say, “I saved one for you.”
Rory is up and out of the door like his pants are on fire, and I tell myself I don’t even want to know.
Ronan collapses beside me on the sofa and pulls me into his lap. He’s got Jameson on his breath as he kisses my face and smooths his large palms over my hair. Pretty soon, he’s made short work of my shorts and tee shirt, and he’s carrying me down the hall to his bedroom.
He fucks me like crazy into the bed and then collapses beside me when we’ve both finished. My hair falls over his chest and he plays with it, his gaze quiet and thoughtful.
“Stay with me,” he says quietly. “Be with me.”
My pulse explodes, flooding my entire body with warmth. I can’t stop touching him. Looking at him. I don’t know whether to blurt how much I love him or that I want more than anything to be with him. What comes out instead is, “I’m pregnant.”
And the moment is officially over.
Panic seeps into his features, washing away any progress we’ve made over the last few months. His eyes flick from my face to my stomach and back about ten times before his expression falls completely flat.
He doesn’t say anything. Not a word. He just gets up and dresses himself.
“Ronan?”
My voice is weak, and I can’t find the words to beg him to stay. So he walks right out the door.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Sasha
I glance up at the clock again for the hundredth time in the last ten minutes. I don’t know what to do at this point. But I’m going frigging nuts sitting in this house, just waiting for him to come back.
Scarlett’s still sleeping off her injuries on the sofa where she insisted she would stay. Rory tried to argue, and the end result was him hovering out the front of the house where he could keep his frustrations to himself.
I know he’s only just outside, parked on the street in his car. I could walk out there and demand he take me to Ronan.
Or, I could just leave altogether.
That second option no longer appeals to me. The thought of leaving him now feels like its own sort of prison. I like being here, in Ronan’s house. Sleeping next to him. Breathing him in when he holds me at night. I don’t know how I could give that up. Give him up.
We’ve come so far together. I don’t want to turn back now. But then I just keep thinking that he left me. Again. And maybe this time, he really doesn’t want to come back. Maybe it’s all been for nothing.
My new phone rings, startling me from my thoughts. When I see Mack’s name, I pick up without hesitation.
“Sash,” she yells through the phone. She sounds totally freaked. And Mack never sounds freaked. It puts me on edge too. “Something’s going down.”
“What do you mean?”
“Some feds just came and arrested Lachlan. I tried calling some of the other guys, but I can’t get through to them. Is Rory still there?”
“I don’t know.” I walk towards the door. “I’m going to check now.”
“Wait!” Mack says. “Grab your purse and some clothes. Tell Rory to bring you to the safe house. That’s where I am.”
“I can’t,” I argue. “I have to wait for Ronan to get back.”
“Sasha, this is protocol,” Mack insists. “He’ll know exactly where you are, and he’ll come to you when he can, okay? But for right now, we don’t know how many of the guys are in custody, and it isn’t safe to be in the house unprotected.”
I think of my baby, and even though I want to wait for Ronan, I know she’s right.
“Okay,” I tell her. “I’ll grab some clothes.”
“Be quick,” Mack urges. “I have a really weird feeling about all of this. I’ll stay on the phone with you until you’re in the car with Rory.”
“Alright, but I’ve got to grab Scarlett too.”
“Scarlett?” Mack echoes through the phone. “What’s she doing there?”
I don’t answer because I’m pretty sure if she doesn’t know already then I wasn’t supposed to say anything. But I really don’t care.
“I’ll let her tell you herself,” I answer. “When we get there.”
“Ugh,” Mack groans. “Fine, whatever. I’m going out of my mind, Sash. Just hurry.”
I pack quickly, and Mack repeats the evening’s events to me while I do. She explains how Lachlan had just come home from the club when the feds started banging down the door. It was odd timing, like they intentionally wanted him to be away from the others so he couldn’t warn them.