“We have all night,” I tell him.
I didn’t think they would, but my words relax him a little, so I keep going. My fingers ghost up his neck and over his shoulders, massaging him lightly as he watches me.
“Do you want to know what I think about?” I ask him.
He doesn’t answer. I reach for his hand that’s still resting on my hip and slide it down between us. I press his fingers over my clit and show him what I like.
He watches me carefully. Taking mental notes of every breath, every reflex, and before long he’s doing all the work himself. My hand falls away, and he takes over. He jerks my body forward, shoving my breast into his mouth.
Now it’s me who’s out of control. Thrashing all over his body, whining at his every touch.
“This is what I think about,” I tell him. “I think about you touching me. Just touching me like this. Any way that you want. Hard or soft. I just want you to touch me.”
His eyes are dark and warm as they appraise me. He likes what he’s doing to me. This is what he wanted.
“Anywhere, Ronan,” I repeat. “Just keep your hands on my body. I want to feel you.”
My voice is desperate. Frantic. I’m betraying all of the emotion I’ve bottled up inside of me for the last two years. I’m just blurting out whatever I like now. There is no filter.
“Always you. Only you, Ronan.”
He’s hard inside of me again. His breathing is harsh, and he’s not even moving inside of me. All he has to do is look at me like this and it makes him lose control. That thought is what sends me over the edge. I’ve barely finished coming around him when he’s got me flipped over onto my back. He pulls out long enough to tear off the condom, and then he’s thrusting back inside of me.
I cling to his back and suck his throat while he fucks me hard and fast. It isn’t like before. There isn’t a part of him that’s unsure or hesitant now. He’s driven purely by his urges. By his instincts.
“I want you to do the things you think about,” I tell him. “I want you to fuck me the way that you like.”
Ronan groans and fucks me harder. I like to watch him. The way he moves inside of me. The way his arms flex and he loses control.
“Sasha,” he grunts between thrusts. “I can’t stop.”
“Don’t,” is my reply. “Do whatever you want with me.”
The next thing I know, he’s heaving me up into his arms and carting me across the room. I don’t have time to question it when he pins me up against the wall and starts to fuck me there.
His pants clatter to the ground from the force of his thrusts. I wrap my legs around his waist and he cups my ass in his hand. His other hand is in my hair, wrecking it as he kisses me again.
“Is this what you think of?” I ask when he moves his lips to my throat again. “Fucking me against the wall?”
“Aye,” he grunts. “At the club. I want them all to see.”
“See what?”
I’m desperate for information, anything he will give me, I want to know.
“I want them to see that ye’re mine,” he roars as he explodes inside of me again, filling my womb with his warmth.
He buries his face in my neck, the next words out of his mouth coming unbidden.
“I think about ye all the time.”
I reach up and stroke his hair, and for a few blissful moments, we just remain there. Our bodies locked together, holding each other. When he finally lets me down, his come leaks down my thigh.
I look down, and so does he.
He didn’t use a condom the second time.
Again.
That same panicked expression washes over his face. I want to reassure him, even if it is false.
“It’s okay, Ronan.”
But he’s already buckling his pants up, preparing to flee again. And I can’t take this. Indulging these encounters with Ronan is like playing Russian Roulette with my heart. He keeps pulling the trigger. At some point, the wound is bound to prove fatal.
“Don’t go,” I try again.
He smooths his hair back into place. His face is blank. There’s nothing there now. The guard is back up, blocking me out.
He walks towards the front door, and I follow after him. His palm pauses on the handle, and I tell him one more time.
“Don’t leave.”
But he turns the handle.
And this time when he walks through the doorway, I let my anger chase him.
I grab the door behind him and call after him. He turns around to look at me, and I tell him what I know is best for me.
“What I meant was, don’t come back.”
Chapter Sixteen
Ronan
“I’ve got a lead on Andrei,” Crow says.
I nod and toss back the whiskey before standing and shrugging on my coat.
“Rory already checked it out.” Crow interrupts me. “So there’s no need to rush off anywhere.”
“Why?” I ask.
“Ye haven’t been yourself lately, Ronan. I don’t know what’s going on with ye, but we need to tread carefully here. You need to tread carefully here. I need this handled in the proper fashion. Do ye follow me?”