It takes him a moment to understand what it is I want. And when I brush my lips against his, he hesitates. But it only lasts a second. A visible shudder moves through him when my breath mingles with his, and it triggers something inside of him. His fingers grip my face roughly, holding me in place as he tastes me too. It’s not soft. It’s not sweet. It’s something wild and three long years in the making. A kiss that purges the memory of all other kisses before him.
Ronan devours me with his mouth and with his body. His thrusts are erratic and out of control. I think he’s trying to be gentle, but he can’t rein himself in. His hands are cupping the back of my head, our tongues and teeth clashing with the force of our want for each other. He looks like he’s in agony. Drugged, so high on me I can’t bring myself to look away for even a second. This man’s strength is unrivaled in anyone else I’ve ever known, but right now he’s a slave to me.
It isn’t one sided. Every part of my body responds to him. To his taste and his touch. It’s chaotic and hot, the way our hips bump against each other and we can’t seem to find a comfortable medium. We’re caught up in the madness, and I’ve never been more turned on in my entire life. He’s fucking me like I’m his prize. His trophy.
And then he’s not fucking me at all. His head falls back and his entire body shakes as he lets out an agonized groan. Warmth fills me, and it surprises me. I’m not the only one.
There’s a beat of silence before Ronan pulls away awkwardly, searching my eyes again for something he doesn’t want to see. Even if it isn’t there, he’s seeking out anything he can latch onto. A reason to leave. I grab his face and pull it back to mine, mauling him with my lips.
It works. Because whatever was on his mind only a moment ago is soon forgotten as he grows inside of me again. The longer we kiss and touch and feel each other, the harder he gets. And then he’s thrusting into me, again. I kiss my way down his throat, tasting his skin and his scent. I’m moaning against him, and every time I do, a sound of relief and pleasure echoes from his own chest.
My hands find his ass and I try to pull him deeper inside of me, but he pushes my palms up to his back. I don’t question it. Ronan is different. I don’t know if something awful happened to him. I don’t know why he won’t take off his clothes or what his unspoken rules are. And I don’t want to push him past his comfort zones.
But it doesn’t stop me from testing them. When I slip my hands beneath the fabric of his shirt to feel his skin, he sighs out his pleasure. His movements are still jarring. Hard, brute thrusts that he can barely control. His body is powerful and solid in my hands. But he’s unsure of himself.
When he yanks down my chemise and my breasts bounce free, he becomes distracted and stops moving altogether as he pauses to stare at them. His eyes are heavy with hunger when he dips his head to taste me. He pins me down and licks at my nipples. And then he’s sucking me into his mouth, groaning against my skin.
He’s a mixture of brutal and sensual. Sweet and hard. Rough and thoughtful.
Everything about him is so fucking male. His hands, his mouth… they dwarf every part of me. In his arms, I’m small and fragile. Completely at his mercy. His cock inside of me stretches me to the point of pleasure and pain.
He starts moving again, and I can’t do anything but lay here and take it. His perfect hair mussed from my hands, his pants hanging just off his hips as he fucks me into the bed. I never want it to end. But the pressure I so desperately need to escape is building inside of me, and I can’t hold back any longer.
My head jerks back against the pillow and I dig my fingers into his back as I come hard and clamp down around his cock. Guttural and unfamiliar sounds vibrate from my throat against Ronan’s chest as he echoes me with his own. Warm spurts of his come fill me as he tips his head back and closes his eyes.
I wrap my arms around him and squeeze, terrified that he’s going to go away now. Like he always does. That he’ll leave and pretend this never happened for another two years. I’m not ready for that. I can’t handle that.
I don’t want to stop touching him. I don’t want to stop feeling this way. The way I do when I’m with him. Maybe it makes me weak, to want someone so much. But if he were to say the word right now, I would be his. I’d do anything he asked of me in this moment.
But just as I feared, when his breathing has calmed, he pulls away. He won’t even look at me as he fastens his belt buckle and zips up his pants before smoothing his hair back into place.
“Ronan?”
There’s no response. He just ignores me as if I’m nothing. And I can take that treatment from everyone else in my life, but not him. So when he gets up to leave, I lash out at him the only way I can.
“When can I expect you back?” I yell at his retreating form. “Another two years from now? You just gonna’ come in here and fuck me as you please like every other man in your outfit tries to? Well next time, make sure you bring a condom because I’m not on the fucking pill!”
His shoulders draw together as he reaches for the door, and I know I’ve hit a nerve with him. I shouldn’t have said it, but it’s the truth. He doesn’t have to worry about these things as he goes on his merry way, but I do.