“I know enough, Mother.” I sat on Beth’s bed and looked to the floor. I would have to choose my words carefully.
Cynthia reared her head and stepped in front of me. “Nina Elizabeth, it’s too dangerous. I know you think you know him, but you don’t.”
I laughed once. “If he’s dangerous then why is he being paid to protect me?”
Cynthia’s mouth flew open. “That arrangement was between him and your father. You’re not listening. He’s not dangerous to you. It’s dangerous for you to be…to become…involved with him. He has just as many enemies as your father.”
“I know what I’m doing.”
“Do you?” she asked. “Do you know what you’re getting yourself into? I don’t think you have the slightest idea of where this could lead or the choices you’ll have to make. I don’t think he’s thought this through, either, or he wouldn’t have done this. Maybe not, maybe he’s too selfish to care—,”
“Selfish?” I shrieked. “How can you say that about him? After what we’ve put him and his family through, Mother?”
“Is that what this is about? Guilt?” Cynthia paced the room, arms still crossed.
“No!” I gasped. “It’s nothing like that,” I said, embarrassed that Jared could hear her words.
She closed her eyes and sighed. “Nina…please. I’m begging you. You know that I want you to be happy…but this—this is not going to end well,” her voice was quiet.
I smiled. “Does anything end well?”
Cynthia heaved her usual resigned sigh, but this time it was different. It was the same she used in the seldom event that she lost an argument to Jack.
“I wish this one time, Baby, that you would listen to what I’m trying to tell you. The last few months have been the culmination of every fear I’ve ever had.”
I had been unaffected by my mother’s infamous guilt trips since I was thirteen, but now that she’d used Jack’s death, I couldn’t break free of the blame. She had never wanted me to find out the truth, and I imagined that it was the one thing she wanted to remain unchanged after we lost my father.
When I thought of her dishonesty and how she’d kept secrets about Jack and Gabe and the Ryels from me for years, the guilt turned to anger.
“You can’t tell me how to feel,” I glowered.
“It’s not too late, Nina. You can save yourself,” she said, lifting my chin. Her uncharacteristically soft affection caught me off guard, but I was resolved.
I pulled away from her. “I don’t need to be saved from Jared.”
Cynthia sucked in a sharp breath and pinched her nose with her thumb and finger. “Nina….”
I could see that she was finished. She had pulled every trick from her bag and laid her cards on the table. I felt triumphant as I imagined Jared smiling at my words.
Beth returned, then, sitting beside me on her bed. “Hazelnut and Splenda,” she smiled, handing me a Styrofoam cup.
“Thanks, Beth.”
Cynthia looked at me, exasperated. “I’m going home now. Please think about what I said. It’s important.”
“I will.” I tried to conceal my relief at her departure.
Beth closed the door and then turned to me. “Did she just give you the sex talk?”
“What? No!” I twisted my face in disgust. The thought of discussing my sex life with my mother made my stomach turn, and Beth clearly had the wrong idea about several things.
“You stayed with him last night?” The corners of her mouth turned up in an enthusiastic grin.
“Yes, but I fell asleep. It wasn’t like that.”
“Oh. Well, did you have a good time?” she asked, deflated.
“We went to his loft, he cooked—“
“He cooked?” Beth interrupted.
I nodded. “He brought me flowers and there were candles everywhere. We talked for hours, into the morning.”
Beth pulled her knees up to her chest. “Wow. I told you he was in love with you. I have a sixth sense about these things.”
“You’re amazing,” I granted.
“Thanks for noticing,” she said. Her eyes narrowed with her grin. “When are you going to see him again?”
“Later today, I hope. Our morning was sort of cut short.”
“Cynthia,” she said. I nodded my head and she stood up, gathering her things.
“I’m going to the hospital with Chad and Tucker in an hour. Do you have time before you meet back up with Jared?”
“Yes,” I said, deciding in the moment.
Beth dialed her cell phone, calling Chad to let him know that I would be tagging along. Quickly after he answered, her voice lowered. She tried to be vague, but I could tell Chad, Tucker, or both, had a problem with me going. Beth won in the end, and she turned to me and winked.
I was relieved to arrive at the hospital; Tucker and Chad didn’t seem angry with me, but there was an obvious air of tension in Chad’s jeep. I wasn’t sure what all the apprehension meant until we arrived at Ryan’s new room in PCCU.
Ryan didn’t look happy to see me. In fact, he behaved as if my very presence was an insult.