Providence (Providence #1)

“More like an hour,” Kim said with heavy eyes.

Jared squeezed me to him. “You didn’t miss anything; you needed to rest.”

“What time is it?” I yawned.

“Seven thirty,” Beth said, looking as exhausted as I felt.

The nurses pushed the stretcher down the hall with a barely-coherent Ryan attached to monitors and tubes. I ran into the hallway and grabbed his hand, walking with them.

“I’m so sorry.” My voice broke before I could attempt a braver tone.

Ryan mumbled something inaudible and I felt my face compress. “It’s okay, you don’t have to talk.” I choked at how familiar those words sounded. “We’ll be right down the hall, okay?” I kissed his hand and he smiled, reaching his shaky fingers to brush my cheek with the back of his fingertips. I held his hand to my face for a moment, kissed it, then let go as they passed through the double doors.

The doors shut in my face, and I brought my hand to my mouth to stifle the cries. Beth came up behind me and Kim joined us, followed by Josh and Chad. We all huddled in the middle of the hall as we hugged and cried.

I had been nestled in Jared’s warm arms for twenty minutes when a nurse came out.

“He’s resting now. If you would like to freshen up and come back later, he may be ready for visitors then.”

“But…how is he?” I asked.

“It’s still early, but he’s young and healthy. I’d say he’s going to recover quite nicely,” she smiled.

We shared a collective sigh as she wheeled around and disappeared behind the double doors.

“I’m going to head home. Call me when he wakes up,” Chad said.

“Can I catch a ride with you?” Kim asked. With that, Beth, Kim, Chad and Josh all stood up.

“You’re staying?” Beth asked.

I nodded and stood up to hug her.

“I’ll stay with her,” Jared said.

Beth smiled through her fatigue before Chad led her out by the hand.

“You’re exhausted,” Jared said. “I should take you home.”

I shook my head. “I can’t leave him here alone. I almost got him killed.”

Jared’s faced twisted when he spoke. “He almost got himself killed.”

“He tried to keep them from attacking me!” I said, offended.

“Fat lot of good it did him,” Jared said dismissively, rolling his eyes.

“I know, Jared. If you hadn’t shown up, Ryan would have bled out and I would have been left handed for the rest of my life, however brief.”

Anger played out across his face and he stood up, stopping just inches from me. “It’s not funny, Nina. You were in serious danger. Ryan should have diffused the situation instead of escalating it. He watches too much television. It’s the ones that try to impress the girl who end up.…”

“He didn’t do that to impress me!”

“His feelings for you clouded his judgment. He tried to be a hero….and here you are, feeling guilty.”

“You’re jealous?” I said, incredulous.

Jared’s rigid posture in the car replayed in my head. I was too worried to think about it at the time, but it made sense. He had mistaken my actions for intimacy. He thought Ryan and I were more than friends.

Jared rolled his eyes. “If I were jealous, it wouldn’t be for that. I’m used to seeing you with someone else. It’s just a matter of enduring it, now.”

My eyes narrowed in suspicion. “What do you mean you’re used to it?”

Jared didn’t answer right away. He heaved an exasperated sigh and his jaws tensed.

“I just meant from before. I’ve had to see you with him before.”

“With Ryan?”

“Yes. At the pub, remember?” Jared eyes wandered everywhere but into mine.

“I remember,” I said, still unconvinced.

He took my hand and worry shadowed his face. “I’m glad you’re okay. For a moment I thought I wouldn’t get there in time.”

“Was your judgment clouded?” I said acerbically, still incensed that he had snubbed Ryan’s bravery.

“Something like that,” he glowered, looking away from me.

“You’re not going to tell me the truth, are you?” I pulled my hand from his and crossed my arms.

Jared’s head snapped back, and his eyes glared into mine. “And what truth would that be?”

“You know what I’m talking about. You took down four men—on your own—like they were little girls. The incomparable sense of timing you seem to have, the knowing where I am all the time….”

“I don’t know where you are all the time…and my sense of timing tonight was almost nonexistent.”

“Are you going to be honest with me or not?” I stood there for a moment, and when Jared seemed to deliberate, I walked back to the couch.

Jared sighed in resignation and then sat beside me. “I wanted to kiss you the other night. I knew that you were upset. I wanted to comfort you and I ended up just hurting you more.” He winced. “That wasn’t my intention, Nina. I would’ve given anything to lean into that kiss. It’s just…complicated.”

“You knew that I was upset?”