“AGH!” I stomped, balling my hands into fists at my sides.
I paced in a small circle for a minute, and then made my way to the desk chair and collapsed. A small bronze frame sat to my left. It was of me and Jack when I was about four years old. We had gone on vacation to the Grand Canyon and I had fallen. I looked closer to verify my bandaged knee and smiled. I was sitting on my father’s lap; he had just finished cleaning up the dirt and blood and used a colorful bandage from my mother’s purse. He kissed my knee and told me that it was all better, and even though the sting remained, I nodded my head in belief.
The colors were all so vivid, as was my memory. My eyes filled with tears and I looked around, horrified that I was in Jack’s office and at what I was doing there. Mr. Dawson, a complete stranger, had made me doubt my father. I wiped my face and quickly straightened his desk. The door slammed behind me as I quickly descended the stairs.
“Miss Nina?” Agatha called after me, but I raced past her, too intent on escaping the shame that I felt.
I yanked my BMW into gear and flew down the driveway into the street. Tears streamed down my face and I felt my body shudder in the same sobs I had worked so hard to rid myself of. Too many questions and no answers, everything that had made sense died with my father.
The flickering street lamps flew by as I sped down the road. As I passed the bus stop where I’d first met Jared. I noticed someone sitting on the bench and slammed on my brakes. I jerked the gear into reverse and my car made a grievous whirring noise as I back-tracked. My tires screeched to a halt straight across from where Jared sat.
Shoving my way out of the car, I stomped to the middle of the street. “Are you following me?”
“Are you all right?” he asked, concern overshadowing his flawless features.
“What are you doing here, damn it?” I yelled.
He stood up and held his arms out to me, but I shook my head. He stopped and furrowed his brow. “Nina, come here.”
“I want answers, Jared. You show up in my life, tell me you have these feelings for me. You won’t give me your number, and you all but refused mine.” I took a step toward him, and he a step toward me.
“Nina, I know you’re upset, but it’s going to be okay.” His voice was calm and soothing, almost too much so, as if he was trying to talk me down from a ledge.
“I’m standing in the middle of the street bawling my eyes out and yelling at you, Jared! Why aren’t you asking me what’s wrong? Why don’t you ever ask me questions?” Jared thought for a moment, seeming surprised at my observation. He took another step toward me with outstretched arms, begging to hold me.
“Is it feelings you have for me? Or are you just following me around because you feel sorry for me? Is it because I’m some tragic, fatherless basket case that you’ve decided to make a charity project out of?”
His eyes turned angry and his arms lowered. “You know that’s not true.”
As he took another step, his face for once didn’t try to hide emotion. His eyes ached for me to come to him; I could see that my tears caused him pain. I leaned into his arms and he wrapped them around me without hesitation.
I relaxed in his embrace for a moment, the warmth of his arms provided instant comfort.
He leaned down to press his cheek against my temple. “It’s more than just feelings, Nina. You have to know that.”
I peered up at him with damp eyes. “Then why haven’t you…?”
“What?” he asked. I shook my head at first, but he pulled me closer to him and his eyes begged me to confess my thoughts. “Tell me.”
“Why haven’t you tried to kiss me?”
He seemed stunned, and then his eyes settled on my lips. I watched as his expression changed from desire, to conflicted, to a decision. I didn’t know what it all meant, so I closed my eyes and leaned into him, knowing his lips were just a few inches from mine. I felt his grip tighten and he held me at bay. My eyes popped open, humiliation crashing over me in waves. Adding to my already crippling embarrassment, tears once again spilled over my cheeks.
His eyes closed tight and his face crumpled. “I don’t want to lie to you.”
The humiliation still flamed my face, but it was now obscured by my anger. I’d grown weary of his vague non-answers. He would offer a tiny bit of truth shrouded in confusing ambiguity and my patience had reached its limit.
Seeing the resentment in my eyes, Jared let out a frustrated sigh. He released me and walked across the street to an impressive black motorcycle parked behind the bench. Without looking back he turned the key, and with a push of the button the engine roared to life. The motor snarled as he revved it a few times before speeding off the sidewalk and down the street.