Thoughts of the guy from the bar entered my mind. He was so sexy and very tempting. What does that say about me? What does that say about my feelings toward my relationship? I turned on my side and let out a sigh. I had to give my mind a rest or I’d never get to sleep.
I stared at the empty spot beside me and I could feel the anxiety in my chest just thinking about everything. I’d figure it all out eventually, but first I needed to sleep.
*
“He’s got to be cheating on you Em,” Becky stated before she placed a piece of blueberry muffin into her mouth.
I was sitting at The Brew with Becky and Victoria. We met the first week of our freshmen year at NYU after being thrown together in a group for our biology course. They’d known each other for years so at first I’d felt like an intruder, but they soon took me under their wing. They introduced me to the nightlife and showed me all the things I’d been missing while living in a small country town in Florida my whole life. They helped me break free from my shell. I’d never been one to put myself out there, but being around them changed all that. I still had my moments, though. I was just so grateful to have met them when I did. My sister, Melanie, lived in the city, but she worked crazy hours. She’d graduated from NYU Law two years before and was finally adapting to her new life as an associate. However, she was so excited when I got accepted to NYU, happy she would have some family close by again.
I looked around the coffee shop. The place was packed, as usual, so I was sure the people enjoying their morning coffee could hear our conversation clear as day. There was a part of me that really didn’t care, though. Since I’d moved to the big city, I’d heard my fair share of interesting conversations. It was its own source of entertainment. Who was I to take that away from the patrons of The Brew? If they wanted to listen, then so be it.
I shook my head and wrapped my hands around my warm mug. “He’s just really busy at work,” I said without conviction.
I didn’t believe the words coming out of my own mouth, but I didn’t want to admit they might be right. I had called Tim when I got up instead of texting. He told me he’d stayed at work and slept on the couch in his office, which I knew was a lie. I’d called his office phone before I’d called his cell and he didn’t pick up. That could only mean one thing in my mind, but I still didn’t have the proof to accuse him of anything.
“Yeah, he was probably busy at work banging his assistant,” Victoria scoffed.
Here we go again. This wasn’t the first time she’d brought up this idea.
“Victoria!” I whisper-yelled.
“What?” she asked with a raised brow. “Come on. You guys hardly see each other anymore. We had this conversation last week when he missed out on your birthday dinner. Something is up. I can feel it. When was the last time you and Tim had sex?” She looked at Becky then back to me with her head tilted to the side, waiting for me to answer.
Some people would find a question like that way too personal to answer, but that was how Victoria was—direct. She bypassed all the bullshit.
I bit the inside of my cheek and looked down at my coffee as I contemplated my answer. I really didn’t want to tell them the truth. That anxiety I was feeling the night before was starting to rear its head. How long without sex was too long? Tim and I were both busy. He had his demanding job and I had school. At least that was what I told myself.
“If it’s taking you this long to remember the last time then it’s been too long,” Becky said with a concerned look on her face. “We’re not attacking you. We’re just trying to help you see the signs.”
“Yeah, the signs that he’s a lying asshole who needs to have his balls chopped off and shoved down his throat,” Victoria added with a smile.
Becky slapped her on the arm, but all I could do was laugh. It really wasn’t a laughing matter, but she always knew how to throw in one of her gibes at inappropriate times. I think she did it to lighten the mood when things got too serious.
I picked up my plain black coffee and took a sip before letting out a sigh. “It’s been over a month.” I blurted it out as quickly as I could before I changed my mind, and they both looked at me with wide eyes like I knew they would. Victoria opened her mouth to say something, but I held up my hand to stop her from talking.