“I’d have to disagree with you. You’ve been very forthcoming. The more I go over and over everything in my mind, the clearer it all becomes. You want a fuck-buddy, but only when it’s convenient for you. You want a submissive, someone who will bend to your will. Someone who will fawn over your looks and dirty talk.”
I turned to see his stunned expression. I knew he wouldn’t expect any of that from me, but I was done. I wasn’t a game player. I didn’t want anything to do with it. My goal was to do something I’d never done before: be spontaneous. But my feelings were getting involved, and I couldn’t let myself get sucked down that road again.
“But I’m not going to be her, Mason. I don’t want to play games. One minute you’re a domineering, sexual alpha male, but then your demeanor changes completely and you can’t get rid of me fast enough. I have no idea who you are and you don’t know anything about me. I just…” I turned and looked back at the painting. “I don’t understand how you can be with me in such an intimate way and then completely ignore the fact there’s something between us.”
I didn’t know what else to say. The thought of telling him I just didn’t want to be with him anymore gave me an anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach. Probably because I knew it wasn’t true. I did want to be with him again; I just wanted it to be on different terms. I wanted to get to know him better. I wanted him to get to know me. Yes, we had chemistry and yes, we were attracted to each other, but I knew there was more to it than that.
It took him a while before he finally spoke.
“You’re right about most of that, Emma,” he said as I turned and looked into his eyes, noticing he was standing a lot closer to me than I had originally thought. “But I’m not playing games with you. I do the things I do because it’s the only way I’ve ever done them. You make me want to try to change, but it’s not that easy. There are a lot of things about me, about my life, that are too fucked-up to talk about. Things I’ll never discuss because they’re too personal.”
He looked over my face and slowly lifted a hand, but thought better of it and lowered it to his side. “I do want to get to know you better, if that’s what you want, but it has to be on my terms. I can’t relinquish the control. It’s not in my nature. If you think that’s something you can do, then meet me outside in ten minutes. I’ll have Carlos waiting with the car. We can go somewhere private and get something to eat, get to know one another. The choice is yours again, Emma. I don’t think you realize how much power you have over this whole situation.” He reached down and grabbed my hand, flipping it over to rub circles in my palm. “You have me right here. You just need to figure out if you want to keep me there.” Then he turned and walked away from me, getting lost in a sea of people.
I stood there staring, my hand still out in front of me. I had to take a moment to understand exactly what had just happened.
Closing my hand into a fist, I could still feel his touch on my skin. What was I going to do? I’d finally asked questions and actually got some answers in return. Do I take that chance and get to know him better, let him get to know me better? Or do I just walk away from it all? Go to a student/teacher relationship only?
I sighed as I walked away from the painting. The only problem was I didn’t think we could ever have just a student/teacher relationship. He confused and intrigued me all at the same time, and it was infuriating. I didn’t understand why I was having that internal battle, either. I had already made up my mind to go with him when he’d suggested it. It was time for me to stop second-guessing myself.
Walking back into the crowd of people, I looked around for Melanie. I found her talking to a few suited men and headed over to meet her. When I approached, I tapped her on the shoulder.
“Excuse me, gentlemen,” she said to the men before turning to me. “There you are. Are you all right? Are you still thinking of leaving?”
I glanced around the room to see if I could spot Tim, but he was nowhere to be seen. “Yeah, I’m going to head out. I’m just not feeling it anymore. I may see what Victoria and Becky had planned and go out with them. I’m not sure.”
“Okay,” she said as she gave me a hug. “I’m so sorry about tonight. I honestly had no idea.” She pulled back and gave me a sympathetic smile.
“It’s okay, really,” I assured her. I wasn’t even thinking about the encounter anymore, just Mason. “I’ll see you in a little bit.”
I waved goodbye to her and looked around the room once more. I saw Tim and his father talking to Mr. Cline again. I needed to be able to get past the pain of seeing him because if I were to be joining the same crowds, it would be inevitable that I’d run into him again.
Taking a deep breath, I walked toward the exit with a grin on my face. I had better things to be thinking about anyway.
Chapter 25
Mason