His fists clenched. “You’re not the only one with history. I jumped to conclusions and said things I regret. I’m sorry.”
Someday I would get the story from him, but for now, I let it go. “Apology accepted.”
“I want you,” he said bluntly. “I know we’re too different and I don’t care. We can make a relationship work.”
Warmth and nerves fluttered in my belly. Loch had rescued me from Richard’s ship when he stood to gain a great deal more by taking Polaris to Father and leaving me to rot. I trusted him.
“I want you, too,” I said with a smile. “And I want to make it work.” I blew out a breath. “But I have to go home. It’s not just about duty and honor, it’s about love.”
“And I can’t go with you,” he said. He made to stand up.
I put a hand on his arm before he could retreat. “Wait. Talk to me. If we’re going to make a relationship work, we have to get better at communication. I want you to go, but not if it means risking your life. Help me think of a solution that works for both of us.”
“I’ve tried. Short of the Consortium pardoning me, there’s no way visiting House von Hasenberg would be safe, even if old Albrecht let me in—which he won’t.”
I was pretty sure I could get him in, but he was right, it wouldn’t be safe. But a full pardon . . . that had potential. “I might be able to get you a pardon,” I said.
“You’ve got to be kidding.”
I shook my head. “While the Consortium thrives on scandal, it only likes internal scandal. Public scandal is to be avoided at all cost. DNA experiments that killed RCDF soldiers would be a huge public scandal. I might be able to twist enough arms to get a vote for clemency passed. It’ll be harder with the war with Rockhurst, but I think I can swing Father and Yamado. The vote doesn’t have to be unanimous.”
“And what prevents them from killing you to keep the secret?”
That surprised a laugh out of me. “The same thing that always has: luck, skill, and the reams of documents that will be publicly released upon my death. It’s how the game is played.”
Chapter 25
Rhys landed in Sedition without any trouble. The enclosed hangar made me a little nervous, but I knew it was better than sitting out in the open. He and Veronica immediately departed for his house. They promised to return in the morning for breakfast, even if Veronica decided not to continue with me.
I watched their transport slide away from the cargo ramp. Loch stood beside me. “What do you think she’ll choose?” I asked.
“Rhys will push hard for her to stay,” he said. “But she is tougher than she looks. She’ll make him work for it, whatever she decides. What do you want her to choose?”
“The selfish part of me wants her to stay with me because I enjoy her company. But I know she’ll be safer if she stays here, especially if Rhys can talk her into staying at his house.”
The hangar door closed behind their vehicle, blocking out the sun and leaving us in twilight. Weariness pressed in. It might be late morning on this planet, but I’d reverted to Universal Time and it was past time for me to sleep. Maybe by the time I woke up my arm wouldn’t feel like I was getting jabbed with a hot poker every time I moved.
“I’m going to bed,” I said. “I’ll message Father in the morning. He’s on Universal Time, so if I stay up to do it tonight, he won’t see it until the morning anyway.” I knew I was making excuses, but I really didn’t have the brain capacity to do it justice tonight. Tomorrow would be soon enough.
“How’s the arm?” Loch asked as he followed me upstairs.
“It hurts, but I’ll live. The painkiller is still keeping the worst of it at bay. It only really hurts when I move.” After I’d answered, another reason for the question occurred to me. “I’m going to bed to sleep, I’m afraid. You’re welcome to join me but I might not be good company.”
“I’ll take my chances,” Loch said.
Once we’d made it to the bedroom, I shucked my pants with weary motions. I instinctively reached back for my bra closure and hissed in pain.
“Let me,” Loch said. He reached under my shirt and unhooked it as easily as I would’ve. He helped me ease it off while keeping my shirt on.
“I see you know your way around women’s undergarments,” I said, trying to break the weird tension that gripped me. I felt unaccountably shy considering I’d already slept with him.
“I live to serve,” he murmured against the nape of my neck. I shivered. “Now stop stalling and get in bed.”
I set my com to wake me up in seven hours then climbed into the bed still wearing my shirt and underwear. Loch stripped down to his boxer briefs. All of that warm bronze skin tempted me to play with fire, but I yawned in spite of myself. He climbed into bed and curled around my right side, being careful of my injured left arm.
Sleep hit me like a frigate.
The alarm came too early and too loud. I groaned and tried to burrow deeper into my pillow.
“I don’t think that’s going to work,” Loch said drowsily. His voice rumbled through me. “I’m all for sleeping more, but you have to turn off that racket first.”
“I can’t,” I grumbled. “I have work to do. And Rhys and Veronica will be back soon.” I threw the covers off before I was tempted to stay. I sat up and turned the alarm off. Shower first, then coffee, then maybe I’d feel like facing the rest of the day.
My left arm almost felt normal again. The bandage would have to stay on for another day or two, but it was waterproof, so I enjoyed a long shower. By the time I had gotten dressed, I almost felt human again. Human except for the lack of boots. I’d have to do something about that because I couldn’t return home in socks.
Loch was still sprawled in bed when I came out of the bathroom. He cracked one eye. “I see you were serious about getting up.”
“Yeah, but you don’t have to. I’m going to be writing a message to Father for the next few hours.”
He blinked in surprise. “That long?”
“It’s going to be a legally binding contract, so yeah, that long. I want to make sure there aren’t any loopholes for him to exploit.”
“I’ll be down in a little while,” he said.
I grabbed my com then headed down to the mess hall. After fortifying myself with a tall glass of iced coffee, I went through the complicated ritual necessary to authorize my necklace and cuff. When I didn’t have anything left to prolong my procrastination, I pulled out my com and got to work.
I started with our basic House contract. I added the things I wanted. First up was the ability to pick my own spouse, the freedom to come and go at will and without supervision, and the immediate cancellation of my bounty. All three of those things were hard requirements. I loved my family but I wasn’t returning if it meant a prison sentence or a forced marriage.
I added the ability to choose my own staff and security detail because if I didn’t, I might as well count on having Father’s spies following me everywhere. I also added diplomatic immunity for my staff and five people of my choosing. It probably wouldn’t survive the cuts, but it was worth the ask.
Next, I required the return of Polaris in working order within three months. Father would balk, but I wanted my ship back. Three months would give the scientists and engineers enough time to study the alcubium FTL drive and get started on their research.
Lastly, I asked for Father to vote yes in a clemency hearing of my choice. I doubted the request would survive the negotiations, but it worked as an opening salvo. Father would know I was serious when I later came to him about the Genesis Project.
In return, I would let his people pick over Polaris for three months, hand over all the alcubium I had on board, and submit to no more than a week of debriefings about everything I’d learned about the alcubium FTL and while on XAD Six and the Santa Celestia.