I didn’t know what to think. My gut reaction was to be offended; we were best friends, and while he tended to be shy about revealing personal things—I’d always seen him as cryptic, but really, I knew how much of it was shyness—I had trouble imagining he’d hide something so significant from me.
But in some ways I could understand why. Because all I could think about was the possibility that Athena wasn’t really who she said she was. The voice in the transcript seemed real, and she was saying all these really open and honest things to Hayden, so much so that I felt a little ashamed reading them, like I was eavesdropping on a private conversation. Which I basically was. But I couldn’t help but think of that Catfish thing where people used the Internet to totally humiliate people who thought they were in love. I didn’t think Ryan and his buddies were computer-savvy enough to trick Hayden in Mage Warfare, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t some other unscrupulous person out to scam him. Hayden knew me well enough to know that I’d at least ask the question, and I was sure it was a question he wasn’t interested in discussing, let alone finding out the answer to.
I was getting tired again; it was hard keeping my eyes focused, and I found myself reading and forgetting to scroll and reading the same thing again. But it was too late to go to bed; the sun was going to come up soon. And besides, I had to know the whole story.
I finally got up to go to the bathroom, then went downstairs for a Coke—I needed caffeine now if I was going to get through this. The house was quiet in the way only an empty house can be—Mom was at work, and Rachel had taken the opportunity to go stay at Jimmy’s, though Mom would kill her if she found out. Every step I took seemed to echo off the walls. The old stairs creaked as I climbed them, which normally I could ignore, but tonight it kind of freaked me out. I kept expecting ArchmageGed to show up in person again, which I knew was crazy, but it didn’t stop my head from spinning around every time I heard a new noise.
Finally I took Hayden’s laptop into bed with me and continued reading. The relationship between ArchmageGed and Athena kept heating up; I’d gotten to the part where they talked about music, and I’d been right that a lot of the songs he’d put on the playlist came from her, like the one I was listening to now, a song that was a strange mix of desperately sad and optimistic. But things changed at the point where Hayden decided it was time for them to reveal their real names. Whereas Athena had always been open with him before, now she was withdrawing a little; I could see that this was going to be a real turning point for them. But I knew where Hayden was coming from. He wanted to know if this was real; he wanted more than an online relationship.
ArchmageGed: I get that you probably live a million miles away, or are a hundred years old, or a dude, or whatever, but you can tell me. I’ll get over it. I just want to know who you really are.
Athena: It’s not like that.
ArchmageGed: That’s even better, then.
Athena: Not necessarily.
ArchmageGed: I don’t understand. We’ve already said that we know each other better than anyone else. I feel so close to you, but I need to know whether this is real.
Athena: It’s more complicated than you realize.
ArchmageGed: I’ll uncomplicate it. Hi, I’m Hayden Stevens. I’m sixteen. I’m a sophomore at Libertyville High in Iowa. See, it’s not so hard. And now you know who I am. But if you don’t tell me who you are, it’s over.
There was a gap in the time stamps of the chat transcript. Athena was clearly thinking things over.
Athena: Fine. But I want to do it in person.
ArchmageGed: Really? How?
Athena: All those things you just told me—I already knew.
ArchmageGed: How?
Athena: I’m from Libertyville too.
There was another gap in the transcript while he processed what she’d just said. It probably completely freaked Hayden out.
ArchmageGed: So we didn’t meet randomly here.
He’d figured something out, anyway.
Athena: We had some help. I’ll explain everything when we meet.
ArchmageGed: Where? When?
I could tell he wanted her explanation to be a good one, one that was fitting of who he believed her to be.
Athena: There’s a party next weekend at Stephanie Caster’s house. We can meet there.
ArchmageGed: If you really know who I am, you’ll understand why that might not be the best place.
Athena: It wasn’t my idea. That friend I told you about—she thinks it will work. There will be a ton of people there. No one will pay attention to us.
ArchmageGed: Why can’t we go somewhere and be alone?
Athena: Because I’m afraid.
ArchmageGed: Of me? I promise, I’m not scary.
Athena: I’m not so good with people. And I’m afraid that when you meet me I won’t be what you wanted me to be. I really want to talk to you in person, but I need to feel safe.
She was pretty self-aware; she knew herself well enough to know that being honest with someone at home in front of a computer screen was very different than dealing with them in real life.
But she’d given me one of the pieces of the puzzle—why we were at that party in the first place.
Who was Athena? Had she even showed up? How did she know how to find Hayden in the game?
My mind was racing again. I didn’t know where to start figuring out the answers to all my questions. I finally looked away from the computer to realize that I could see the sun rising. It was almost time for school—I really had stayed up all night. The questions would have to wait. I closed my eyes. With the computer still sitting on my chest, I started to drift off. But right before I fell asleep, I came up with one more:
How did Astrid know about Athena?
“WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HOME?”
I opened my eyes to see sunlight streaming through my window and Hayden’s laptop still sitting on my chest, though it had long since gone into power-save mode. My iPhone alarm had gone off but apparently I’d just slept through it; I could hear a song from the playlist in the background. Mom was standing in the doorway of my room, frowning at me. She must have just gotten home from work; she was wearing rumpled pink scrubs with little monkeys all over them.
“Overslept,” I said, my voice cracking. I wasn’t really awake yet. Not surprising, given that I must have fallen asleep at like five in the morning.
She sighed. “Get dressed quick. If I drive you we can get you there just in time for homeroom.”
I felt bad; she looked as exhausted as I’d been feeling lately. I brushed my teeth, put on extra deodorant, and threw on my clothes as fast as I could.
“Were you up playing Mage Warfare all night?” Mom asked, as I got in the car. “Or is something else going on? Were you thinking about Hayden?”
She’d pretty much covered it. “All of the above,” I said, rubbing my eyes.
“Tell me what’s happening.” She ran her hands through her rumpled curls and I could see that she hadn’t had time to brush her hair before herding me off to school. I felt bad for keeping her from going to bed; I knew how it felt.
I looked out the window as she drove, at the run-down houses in our neighborhood that gave way to downtown as we got closer to school. The leaves had long since turned, and the streets were littered with them, damp and crushed under people’s feet and car tires. A few people had started putting up Halloween decorations; I turned away when I saw a fake gravestone with R.I.P. written on it in big, shaky letters. I wanted to tell her everything, but she’d just get worried, and she had enough to deal with. “I’ve just been thinking a lot,” I said, instead. “About Hayden and everything. Do you believe something happens to people? After they die?”
“Like heaven? Harps and fluffy clouds?”
I’d been thinking more about ghosts, specifically ghosts shaped like wizards, but I didn’t see any reason to mention that. “I guess.”