“Such a pretty pussy,” he whispered, watching his fingers play. “Slick and pink. Beautiful.”
A moan trickled from my lips, then I gasped as he set his mouth on me again, wider, consuming me. He licked shallow, then deep, pulled my flesh into his mouth in tender love bites, then stroked his tongue over my clit. I jolted like a live wire, crying out at the shock of it. When he slid two fingers inside me and curved them, I jerked again, my head lifting off the pillow. “Oh God!”
“There.” He licked my clit again, and again, then sucked it and with his fingers teasing that sensitive spot inside me and his mouth stimulating my clit, I came in a torrent of sensation, sparks flowing through my veins, brilliant light blinding me, static buzzing in my ears.
“That’s a gorgeous orgasm,” Chase rasped, pushing my leg up to kiss my thigh again, then my ass cheek, then my hip. “So fucking gorgeous.”
I couldn’t speak, could barely breathe. But I couldn’t disagree with him.
* * *
—
“Did you know that you can go topless on the beach?”
I smiled against Chase’s shoulder much later. “I did see that when I looked at the hotel website.”
“I’ll go topless if you will.”
I tapped his chest. “What a deal.”
The idea of going topless was actually kind of exciting. Especially if it would make Chase crazy. I loved how hot he was for me. He made me feel so…desirable.
Now you might think having lots of fans praising me and admiring me would make me feel plenty desirable. But it was different. This was…personal. Because Chase was seeing the real me. The me who lost her keys and forgot her phone. The me who was afraid of fire. The no-makeup, hair-not-done me. The me I wasn’t able to be with many people. With him I felt safe, somehow knowing that I could be my true self and he would still want to be with me. And knowing how much he wanted to be with me…that felt amazing.
“How long has your wrist been bothering you?”
He tensed briefly, then sighed. “Since I broke my thumb last year.”
“Chase!”
“Not all the time. Off and on. Over the summer it was fine. Then when we started playing again in the fall, it hurt sometimes. I’d just take an Advil and play through it. When I told Coach it was bothering me, that’s when they sent me to the team doc. The injection helped, for a while.”
It was my turn to sigh. “Is that what’s affecting your game?”
He was silent for so long I was afraid I’d really pissed him off. I lifted my head to peer at him in the shadows. His eyes were closed, but he opened them and met mine. He let out a short exhalation. “Yeah, that’s probably why I haven’t been playing great. Shooting the puck is hard, sometimes. Then I got into a mental slump because I hadn’t scored and that just made things worse.”
“When is the MRI?”
“Haven’t scheduled it yet.”
“Chase,” I urged him softly. “You need to do that.”
“I know, I know.”
“Are you worried about what it might be?”
“No. I don’t know. I just…I guess it scares me a bit. You know?”
I could tell how hard that was for him to admit. “I know. You know I know.” I caressed his rough cheek. “I was freakin’ terrified.”
“Shit. You’re braver than I am.”
“No, I’m not. I didn’t have a choice. Right now you have a choice. What if it gets worse? What if you’re doing some kind of permanent damage to it? That could have a long-term impact on your career.”
His jaw tensed beneath my fingers, and his lips thinned. He rolled away from me and got out of bed. “I’m not doing permanent damage, for fuck’s sake.”
The bathroom door banged shut.
I turned onto my back and stared at the ceiling. Shit.
Had I been too interfering? My stomach hurt.
Chapter 14
Chase
I stood in the bathroom, hands clenched into fists, staring at myself in the mirror.
I wasn’t mad at Jordyn.
I was scared.
I’d never talked about this to anyone. I didn’t even like to think about it.
My parents didn’t want to hear that I had a problem. They didn’t want to know I wasn’t perfect. Or if they did know it, they’d be pissed off. I was an adult now, and I didn’t need their approval anymore, but still…
The only real girlfriend I’d ever had in my life dumped me when I didn’t make the career decision she’d wanted me to.
The last time I didn’t live up to a team’s expectations, they’d traded me.
I hadn’t talked to my friends much about it. Steve, my agent, knew about it, but I’d kind of downplayed it to him too. It was starting to become a huge fucking weight on my shoulders. But now Jordyn knew. And she wouldn’t let it go. And she was right.
I had to do something about it, but I hadn’t, for lots of reasons.
I closed my eyes and tipped my head back. Jesus. She’d been through this herself. She’d been trying to comfort me and give me courage, and I was too wrapped up in my own shit to see that.
I exhaled sharply, then opened the bathroom door. I walked out into the room, toward the bed. Jordyn was huddled under the covers, a small shape that filled me with a protective feeling.
I slid under the duvet and pulled her up against me, her back to my front, wrapping my arms around her. “I’m sorry.”
She nodded.
“I’m not pissed at you.” I kissed her hair. “I’m just…” Fuck, I hated saying it out loud. “I’m scared.”
“I know.” She set her hand on my forearm and squeezed it. “I was scared too. I know how you feel.”
“I guess you do. It’s pretty goddamn terrifying to think your career could be over.”
“Yeah. It still worries me sometimes. What if I can’t sing again?”
“You will, baby. You will.”
“And I’m sure that whatever is going on with your wrist won’t end your career.”
I clenched my jaw briefly, but nodded.
“You need to know,” she continued. “That’s all I’m saying.”
“Yeah. I’ll schedule the MRI as soon as we get back.”
She turned in my embrace and put her arms around me. Pressed together, skin to skin, chest to toes, heartbeat to heartbeat, we held each other. Emotion swelled in my chest, hot and aching. This kind of comfort and care, of having someone I could tell my deepest fears, and who told me hers, was both wonderful and terrible.
* * *
—
“Tell me about Jasper Wright.”
“Ugh. Why?”
The sun beat down on us where we laid on lounge chairs on the beach, the ocean waves a gentle rhythmic whoosh, the palm fronds above us rustling in the breeze. Our nearest neighbors on the beach were far enough away that it felt like we were alone on the white sand. “I want to know you’re not still in love with that skinny boy-band dude.”
“Bah. I’m not in love with him. I’m not sure I ever was.” Jordyn reached for the cocktail sitting on the small table between our chairs and took a sip. Her smooth skin glistened with the sunscreen I’d just applied.
“Okay, good. You dated for a while though.”
“We did. He was just using me though.”
“Shut up.”
“No lie. He wanted to go out all the time and make sure there were lots of fans and paparazzi taking pictures of us. I was all flattered that he was interested in me, and we had fun together at first, but then I realized he didn’t really give a shit about me. It was just all PR for him.”
“Fucker.”
She smiled. “I figured it out when he always wanted to go out. Every date had to be a big production. He never wanted to just stay home and you know…watch Netflix and chill.”
I scowled.
Her lips twitched. “Or even watch a hockey game.”
“Obviously he’s a douche-waffle.”
A laugh sprang from her lips. “And he has a good voice, but he doesn’t…love music. Not the way I do. It’s more business for him. I’ve been criticized for not being business-focused enough, but at least I have a manager and a team I trust. All Jasper thought about was making money.”
“Huh.”
“What about you?” She rolled over on her beach lounger and propped herself on her elbows on the thick cushion. “Have you ever had a serious relationship?”