“I’m happy for you.” Luke said and then rubbed his hands down his face. “I envy you.”
Jake looked at his brother, trying to figure what was going on with him. No one had ever envied him before, rightfully so, usually his life was a shit storm. But Luke had a thriving business, a beautiful daughter, and always had his shit together, unlike Jake, who was just now making a conscious effort to be more like his brother.
“You envy me? What the hell for?”
Luke looked up at him and Jake would’ve sworn he saw a flash of regret pass his brother’s eyes. “You enjoy every minute of your life, and when you started to figure a piece was missing, you weren’t too scared to grab it and fit it back into your puzzle.”
Jake was starting to think that everyone in his life got their rocks off on confusing the shit out of him. First Cara went and compared him to food and now his brother was comparing him to a puzzle. “Look I don’t know about chicken cutlets and puzzle pieces and quite frankly I don’t want to because it’s all too confusing.” Luke’s brows furrowed but Jake ignored him and went on with his rant. “I don’t know what you’re saying but let me see if I can figure it out. You Mr. I Got This, Don’t You Worry, is envious of me, Mr. I Ain’t Got Shit Figured Out?” He shook his head. “Talk about a mindfuck.”
“That’s just it. I’m so sick of having the answer for everything and acting as if I got everything under control when I’m just muddling through.”
“So you want to throw caution to the wind? Definitely came to the right place. I’m Mr. Fuck Caution.”
“You have a filthy mouth.”
“I wish you were a certain brunette saying those words and not my brother.” He sighed, and reprimanded himself silently. No more joking around Jake, your brother needs your advice. He chuckled, he couldn’t help it. Who would’ve thought? He watched Luke look at him, probably rethinking coming here to talk to him in the first place. He cleared his throat and composed himself. “Sorry. Look if you’re trying to tell me you’re tired of having all your ducks in a row, I am relieved. For the life of me, I don’t know how you do it and never complain. You’ve been dealt a shitty hand some might say, I wouldn’t.” He watched his brother just stare at him, actually listening to him, still reeling from that fact alone, he gathered his scattered thoughts and continued. “I see you and I see the bravest man I know. I would never have been able to raise a little girl by myself. Shit, I wouldn’t have this tattoo parlor if dad didn’t help me, but you? Your partner takes off and all your plans to open your business come crashing down on you and you turn around and single-handedly build your business from nothing. Every plan you thought you had backfired but you still managed to come out on top, because of your willpower to succeed.”
“I have a daughter. She needs me to succeed so she can have a life like we did.” He sighed. “But no matter what I do, she never will. She’ll never have the home we had and it’s ruining me.”
“This is about Marie?” Anger boiled in Jake, at the mere sound of her name. If that bitch ever had the balls to run her ass back through this town Jake would run her over. He meant it. She hurt his brother and left his niece like she was yesterday’s newspaper.
“It’s not about her. I believe with my whole heart that Ava is better off without her. I mean she was an infant when she left her.” He took a moment. “Have you ever seen me bring a girl around Ava? She’s seven years old.”
“No.”
“I told myself I couldn’t because if I let her get close to another woman, and she left us too how would I ever explain that hurt to her?” He sighed. “She’s been asking where her mother is, and why all the other kids in school have mommies but she doesn’t.”
“What do you say when she asks?” Jake asked curiously.
“I avoid it at all costs, and just tell her that wherever her mother is she’s thinking of her and loving her from afar.” He swallowed, and Jake saw the pain tearing through him.
“Luke, you give her a lot of love. We all do, and she has our mom and Sam, she even has Cara for when she needs a woman in her life. You just need to know that you are doing a great job, and you can’t be afraid of letting another woman into your lives. You just haven’t met her yet, or maybe you have and it’s just not your time. But when it is you’ll know she’s the one that’s going to complete that family picture you have in your head.”
Luke stared at him, before nodding. “When did you get so philosophical?” He smiled crookedly at him and then grabbed him into a hug. “Thanks, Jake.”
“Anytime.” He said and patted his brother on the back. “Hey would you do something for me?”
They pulled out of their brotherly embrace and Luke nodded. “What do you need?”
“Come to the track tonight.”