“I want to make it better.” He whispered, and he looked at her. He was demanding with his words, but his eyes asked her permission. She hadn’t realized she nodded until his lips touched hers. It wasn’t the first time they had kissed, throughout the years they’ve kissed a lot, but they had always been drunk whenever they did. That was the difference, this time they were both stone cold sober, and in his bed.
The kiss had started off soft and slow, barely touching one another’s lips, just mostly exploring. She grasped his shirt in her hands and pulled him closer towards her. They broke apart for a moment searching each other’s face and then they reached for one another at the same time. Their lips fused together, desperately. Jake’s tongue snuck out and ran along her lower lip, soothingly. She didn’t feel any pain so she thought he was seeking permission to enter her mouth, and she parted her lips. His tongue accepted the invitation and slipped into her hot mouth. Their tongues caressed and explored. Her teeth crazed his lower lip and her head began to spin. A sea of emotions engulfed her, and suddenly she was fighting for more of him. Hungry and eager, she found herself taking control of their kiss. She ground herself against him and he moaned. He pulled back and let out a shaky breath.
“Cara,” he said breathlessly, as he held her face in his hands. Shock and embarrassment covered her face. She touched her lips; they were plump and moist from his mouth.
“I’m sorry.” She said, and scrambled to get off of him. He reached for her, and caught her hips just before she could slide off him. “Jake, just let me go, please.” She begged her cheeks reddening. She had to get out of there now, before the tears that were threatening to spill, actually did.
“Stop it.” He said softly. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. Cara, look at me.”
She lifted her head and glanced up at the ceiling, trying to will the tears in, but failed, and when they fell, she quickly started to wipe at them. “Can we just forget this happened?” She said, sniffling.
He sighed, taking her hand in his. “If that’s what you want.”
His simple words made her look at him, and not care if she cried or not. Did that mean he didn’t want to forget it happened? She shook her head, it didn’t matter. She needed this to go away; she needed things to be normal. They had been so careful not to cross any lines between them, and then she went and did this. “I just-I can’t do this with you, Jake.” She moved his hands from her hips and got off the bed, she needed space between them.
“Cara, it’s not like I never kissed you before.”
“We were always drunk!” She said quickly. “This was different.”
“You’re scared.”
“No! Yes! I don’t know.” She pulled her hair back and tied it up in a messy bun with the hair tie that was resting on her wrist. “The only thing I know is that you are everything to me, and I don’t want to mess that up. I won’t mess that up.”
Jake sat up, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. He stared up at her. He was completely calm and that infuriated her. She was a bundle of nerves and emotions and he was completely unaffected, aside from the bulge between his legs. “You think I want to mess things up between us? That this thing between you and me,” he motioned back and forth between them with his hands. “Doesn’t mean just as much to me as it does to you?”
She swallowed the lump in her throat and bent down to pick up her boots. She knew very well that their relationship meant a lot to him. She looked back at him when he stood up from the bed. He didn’t advance towards her, he just stared at her.
“I’m not suggesting we jump into bed together or even explore whatever the hell just happened here. What I’m saying is we don’t have to pretend it didn’t happen. We can just accept it and move on. The most important thing is that we don’t let it come between us.”
She stared at him. He was right, and she knew it. So they kissed; big deal. So what if she couldn’t remember the last time she was that turned on? They slipped up, a one shot deal. They could sweep it under the rug and go back to the way things were. “You’re right.”
“So we’re good?” He asked hopefully, still standing in the exact same spot.
She nodded, “We’re good.” She let out a deep breath and the cocked her head to one side and looked at him. “I really did come up here to check on you and tell you dessert was on the table. Are you okay? You kind of left dinner quickly,” She tried to make her voice sound casual, normal, or even concerned.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I was just tired.” He gave her a crooked smile. “So what do you say we go see if those scavengers left us any cheesecake?”
“I spotted some tiramisu in the fridge too.” She wiggled her eyebrows, knowing that that was his favorite.
He grinned and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, escorting her out of the bedroom. “They better have left me some of that.”
And just like that, he made it okay for her, typical Jake.