“Nell,” I said and laughed. There was no point in dignifying that with a reply.
“Right, okay, stupid question. I’ll go and tell Chloe we’re in and let you get back to your family time.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow night,” I said.
“Do we have plans?”
“We do now. Bye.”
I hung up and noticed Mum had caught me saying Nell’s name. She watched me with a giddy smile.
“What, Mum?”
“How is she?”
“She’s fine.”
“Perhaps one weekend you could bring her with you?”
I would love that but I doubted that would happen anytime soon.
“Maybe,” I replied.
Mum scowled and went back to talking with Greta.
“You never mentioned a girlfriend. How long have you been together?” Steph asked.
“We’re not together. Me and Nell are…” Now how did I explain fuck buddies nicely so that if my mother overheard she wouldn’t be disgusted?
Turned out I didn’t need to. Steph’s eyes widened with understanding. “Oh, I get it.”
“Yeah. We’re friends.”
“You’re not happy about that?”
“No, I am. I’m cool to be friends and see how things go, but somewhere down the line I want more.”
She ran her index finger around the rim of her almost empty wine glass. When did we move on to alcohol? “And Nell?” she asked.
Sitting down, I took a deep breath. “Nell is complicated. She’s so convinced that she doesn’t ever want a relationship and I know a lot of people say that about all sorts of different things but she’s so determined that I’m not convinced she’ll change her mind.”
“What if she doesn’t?”
“Well, I’m not going to have half a relationship forever.”
“Maybe she just needs time. You’re both still young. I assume she’s our age?”
“Yeah, she is. Time is all I got.”
“I hope things work out for you, Damon, you deserve to have everything you want.”
“Glad you think that because right now I’d like to get drunk in my mother’s kitchen. Want a top up?”
She laughed and nodded. “Definitely, and I think you moving onto beer now will do the trick.”
Fucking right.
Nell
Damon was at his parents’ house and there was a girl there. A girl whose hair I wanted to rip out with my bare hands, strand by strand. We weren’t together in any real way but I selfishly thought of him as mine. A random on a night out or holiday was nothing; he’d never see them again. A girl from home was a whole different story.
Chloe and I sat in a bar drinking cocktails. “Who do you think she is?” I asked.
Obsessing. Yep, I was obsessing. It was irrational and downright annoying but I was.
She rolled her amber eyes. “I think she’s a friend of his from back home.”
“Yes, of course she is! We fucking know that, Chloe, but a shagging friend or a non-shagging friend?”
Laughing, she folded her arms on the table. “Um. Shagging probably. Yeah, definitely shagging.”
I narrowed my eyes at her and wanted to throw up all over her nice new dress. The cow said that on purpose. “No.” That wasn’t it. Shaking my head, I replied, “No, I don’t think so.”
“Oh really? Why’s that?” she asked, grinning wide and clearly loving every second of this. What was there to love? What kind of a backward best friend enjoyed things like this?
“I just don’t think she is. He would’ve said something to give it away even if he didn’t mean to. She’s just an old school friend that’s also a friend of the family.”
She shrugged. “Okay.”
“Do you even understand how annoying you’re being right now?”
She grinned again. “Uh huh. Sorry, but I’m really enjoying this. I didn’t think I’d ever see you get all worked up about a guy.”
I held my finger up. “I am not getting worked up.” I was. “I just want to know if I need to demand he goes for another sexual health screening.”
“And do you actually believe that?” She did a double take. “Wait, another one?”
“Never mind, he’s clear, and I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
Yes, I bloody do.
I clapped my hands together. “I vote that we get me shit faced tonight.”
“She’s just a friend, Nell.”
“Good for him. It doesn’t matter what he does. My desire to get drunk has nothing to do with Damon and his little friend.” She raised one eyebrow. “Fuck off. I don’t care what he does.”
Wisely she didn’t say anything but the little cow didn’t need to because this time both perfect eyebrows rose. The thin strips of hair on her face told me exactly what she was thinking: It does matter. Deep, deep down I knew that it did but I couldn’t let feelings like that bubble to the surface, it was dangerous and the last thing in the world I wanted when it came to a man was danger.
“Have you decided what dress you want me to wear for the wedding? Nothing puffy please.”