But women have a strange way of talking about things like that. On the one hand, when they’re being reflective, they’ll usually lie their heads off that they never went to bed with a single male except their spouse, or whoever their partner happened to be. On the other hand, someone like Jack, who suddenly became famous, suddenly had fifteen thousand mistresses! After On the Road was published, all these women were more than eager to admit to having had extramarital affairs with Jack, and I used to laugh reading about this one or that one who said they had had a love affair with this or that Beat writer. They would have lied their heads off at any other time if it was someone nobody cared about that they were supposed to be involved with.
I really don’t know what went on between Marion and Jack, but I do know that Marion had a crush on him, because, like I said, she was on top of him all the time. And it got to the point where Neal and Jack even discussed it, and I think Jack might have mentioned it in some of his letters, that he was uncomfortable to be around Marion because of his friendship with her husband. He was embarrassed that she was really being so obvious in her admiration for him.
Women were attracted to Jack, and no one could understand why he just seemed to be totally unaware of his physical powers in that regard. It was on that second trip, while we were still at Jack’s apartment, I think, that I met his blonde girlfriend Pauline. It was clear that some kind of love affair was already in progress when we got there. She was married to a truck driver, but she was seeing Jack on the side. She and Jack were actually talking about getting married, and he was really involved with this girl, which was rather unusual for Jack. I mean, he was taking the chance of possibly getting shot! Neal was always reminding him that he was gonna get killed when the truck driver found out. Apparently the guy was very violent and beat her a lot—at least that’s what she was telling Jack. But she had Jack’s complete loyalty, and he was taking chances seeing her, which was not normal behavior for him at all. I remember her quite well. I saw the two of them together quite a bit, and she just didn’t seem like Jack’s type at all. She was kind of a giggly blonde, and Jack would normally get involved with quiet, serious girls—and usually not blondes. Neal didn’t like her, because he thought she was just using Jack to get away from her husband.
It’s hard to know how serious Jack was about wanting to marry her. I think Jack, at that particular time anyway, was more involved in wanting to live. He really wanted to just do things—see things, see people, meet people—to become involved in all the life around him. I don’t even think he was that worried about his writing at that time—I mean, I didn’t get the impression that he felt pressured about getting his book done. Of course, he wanted it done, wanted to see it published and to have it succeed. But I didn’t ever get the impression that he felt pressured in any way, or that he was worried whether his novel would be accepted.
Jack and I had a lot of conversations alone, because Neal would get involved with so many people, and of course Allen was always around to distract him. So Jack and I spent a lot of time together, and he talked to me a lot about his life. He was just totally involved with everything that was happening and being with Neal and his other friends. At that period, I think Jack was very, very happy. But in a way it was also like Jack, right then, was waiting for something to happen, like something was gonna happen around the next corner that was gonna change his life. He was going to the New School; his book was being looked at by some major publishers. I think Jack had real good feelings at that time—about everything, really.