And it’s filthy and divine.
I can’t stop. Won’t stop. I love the stubble scratching me, I love his lips on me, and I love everything about his wild abandon. As I rock up, he grips my thighs tight, devouring me like he promised. Pulses of pleasure ricochet through me until I’m there.
I chase down bliss, and then I find it. I come undone on his lips, so magnificently that my noises have to be audible across town.
And I don’t care.
When I manage to open my eyes, Miller’s standing, stroking his hard cock. It’s like an iron spike.
“Look what you do to me, baby. When you leave I’m going to take care of this again.”
“I wish I could stay for that,” I say.
He bends to me, brushing his lips against my cheek. I murmur contentedly as endorphins wash over me, a beautiful wave cresting endlessly. He reaches my ear and kisses the earlobe. “I meant every word, Ally. I’ve wanted you for so long, and you taste better than cherries.”
I shiver from the sheer sensuality of his words, but the stark truth scares me. I’m not sure what to do with all this want we’ve unleashed. What happens to it when our friends-with-benefits deal inevitably ends?
Because arrangements like this always end.
Maybe that’s why I can speak the truth.
“I’ve wanted it too,” I admit, since there’s no point holding back. The cat’s out of the bag when it comes to our lust—might as well embrace the truth while we reap the rewards.
There’s no time to linger though, since I have to be downtown, so I rush to clean up and get dressed. Two minutes later, I’m standing by the door, grabbing my bag and coat. Miller’s towel is back in position, and I want to rip it off again.
“We didn’t work on the song,” I say playfully.
“Such a shame.”
“Send it to me tonight? We’re booked for some time in the studio tomorrow afternoon.”
“It’s an easy arrangement. You’ll have it down in no time,” he says, punctuated by a rumble in his stomach that makes me laugh.
“Hungry much?”
He pats his flat abs. “That’s what happens when you have dessert first.”
I join in the ab-patting party. Because . . . why not? I slide my hand over his belly. “You better eat, hot stuff.”
He shrugs happily. “Want company picking up Chloe? I can get ready quickly.”
His request throws me, and I don’t answer right away.
He furrows his brow.
“Well, it’s just that I’m taking Chloe and a friend out,” I say.
“I don’t mind.”
But the funny thing is . . . I do. And I’m not sure why, but maybe because tonight feels different than last night. Yesterday was an unexpected and fantastic exploration. Today was deliberate. I need to wrap my head around how to balance bandmates, friends with benefits, and the unusual role Miller plays in Chloe’s life.
I need to do that before the lines blur any more.
I wince, wringing my hands. “I feel like she’ll know we were doing something.”
“She’s eleven.”
“That means she knows basic stuff.”
He holds up his hands in surrender and fixes on his toothpaste smile. “No worries. I have tons of stuff to do here, actually,” he says, gesturing grandly to his living room.
“I’m sorry,” I say softly, then raise my chin. “I just need to figure out all this . . . stuff.”
Yes. Stuff. That’s a euphemism if I’ve ever used one.
“Go,” Miller says, flashing me his winning grin.
“Bye,” I whisper, then rise up on tiptoe to cup his cheeks and kiss his lips. He’s tense for a sliver of a second, then I feel him melt against me, sighing into my mouth.
I want to hold on to this feeling, but more than that, I want to know what the hell to do with it.
Chapter 23
Ally
Hailey swishes her chicken satay into the peanut sauce, then takes a bite. “And did you see when Maddie tried to switch things up with her sister?”
Chloe’s eyes twinkle as they dissect the latest episode of their favorite show. “And it worked. Until the disco ball fell down. Oops!”
The girls laugh in tandem, then Chloe scoops up some pad thai noodles with her chopsticks, smiling the whole time.
Hailey’s eyes pop out, cartoon-style, and she points as if she’s spotted a unicorn trotting down Broadway. “Oh my God, you can use chopsticks! I want to learn.”
Chloe tips her head to me. “Ally taught me. They’re so easy once you know how to do it.”
Hailey grabs her chopsticks and thrusts them in my direction, batting her eyes. “Teach me, please.”
“Of course. It’s easy-peasy.” I can see why Chloe likes Hailey. The pixie blonde is animated and full of positive energy.
I teach her the basics, and a few minutes later, she’s clumsily twirling noodles into her mouth.
“You’re amazing,” she says to me. “You’re like the mom on Girls Rule. She’s super cool too.”
That’s high praise, so I smile and say thank you. As they return to the issue of whether Maddie should let a new drummer into their all-girls band, my mind wanders to my own bandmate. To how Miller looked so hurt, then tried to cover it up so valiantly.
Was I cold for putting my foot down about dinner?
Or was I wise?
I sigh as I take a sip of my tea, wishing for answers, wishing I knew where to even look for them.
But I don’t, because I don’t have a knitting pattern to follow with him. We’re not dating, but we are screwing around, and it’s only temporary, and yet we’re still friends. I wish I’d been able to give him a yes to something as simple as joining us for dinner. The last few times I tried to integrate men I dated with my family, it didn’t pan out. Miller’s different, of course. But what does it mean that this man who’s played a key role in Chloe’s life for several years is now also the man I’m enjoying benefits with?
Temporary benefits.
“Would that even work?” Hailey’s question interrupts my reverie. “Would it be possible for somebody who sings soprano to hit those low notes?”
We’re back to the topic of Girls Rule, as Hailey lays out the scenario the lead singer faced in a recent episode. I weigh in with my musical opinion, then the girls ask if they can order mango sticky rice for dessert.
“Since the first semester is almost over and I’ve done well in school,” Chloe says, making her case.
“Me too. It can be like a reward,” Hailey adds, and they’re like two puppies, vying for an extra scoop of kibble.
“Let’s do it.”
After we finish the sweet rice and I pay, Hailey grabs her phone to text her mom, while Chloe rests her head on my shoulder. “Thanks so much for doing this, Ally. I had a really fun time.”
A neon light flashes brightly in my brain. Ally. She called me Ally for the first time. I blink, my mind tripping back to earlier at dinner. She called me Ally then too, didn’t she?
I sit straighter, a question poised on the tip of my tongue.
But Hailey looks up from her phone. “Can you sleep over tomorrow? I just asked my mom, and she said it’s fine with her.”
Chloe’s eyes plead with me from behind her glasses. “We have a half day, and then winter break starts. Can I, Ally?”
Third time. I beam. I don’t know why it feels like I’ve graduated to the next level, but it does, and I’ll take it. I’ll happily take it. “Absolutely.”
While we walk Hailey back to her apartment, I’m on cloud nine, and I want to share the news with Miller.
Later that night when Chloe’s asleep, I text him, but there’s something else I need to say first.
Ally: I missed you at dinner, but I’m not sure how to balance everything now.
Miller: gif of juggler with ten pins in the air
Ally: Seriously though . . . I should have invited you, but I’m trying to figure out how to make everything fit.
Miller: gif of cat sliding under a bureau
Miller: It’s all good. I NEVER want to pressure you when it comes to Chloe. I was just starving. You know me and my appetite.
Ally: Yes, I do.
Miller: But I do understand that the juggling is real for you. And that you have to do what makes sense.
Once Upon a Sure Thing (Heartbreakers #2)
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