Nowhere but Here

“I don’t want to cry in front of you.”


“You’ve cried in front of me about four hundred times since I’ve known you. You’re the biggest crybaby I know.”

“I’m tough,” I declared.

“You wish. Just open the damn envelope.”

I shoved my armful of mail into Dylan’s hands and reached down for the letter. As I tore the flap from the back, I got a paper cut.

“Goddammit, it’s a sign.” I shoved my bleeding finger into my mouth and sucked. “Cay u beweve it?” I mumbled over my finger.

“For the love of God, Kate, open that letter right now.”

I huffed and then finished opening the envelope. I took the familiar paper out and unfolded it. My eyes first went to where I had underlined Jamie’s words, I am completely in love with you, and then in my big letters the word WHY? Underneath that was Jamie’s response. It was two words. That’s it. Two. Simple. Words.

MARRY ME.

I’ll admit, it wasn’t exactly the proposal every girl fantasizes about, yet somehow it was better. It was totally unexpected but completely fitting for the way things had gone down. He knew I needed it all. I put my hand over my heart, took a step backward, and leaned against the mail slots.

“What? What does it say?” I turned the page toward Dylan and began crying. “Holy shit. I mean, wow!” He scanned my face and then one side of his mouth turned up into a lopsided grin. “You’re crying. Are those happy tears?”

“Yes,” I blubbered.

He pulled me into his chest with his free arm and held me tightly.

“What will you do?”

“I’m gonna go out there and . . .” I hiccupped and took a deep breath. Dylan rubbed my back, soothing me. “I’m going to quit the Crier, go to Napa, finish my book, and say absolutely, one hundred percent yes to Jamie.”

“Attagirl.”

I pulled back and wiped the tears away with the back of my sleeve. “Will you do something for me, Dylan?”

“Anything.”

“Will you take care of Anchovy for me?” I asked, sniffling.

He laughed. “You’re such a drama queen. Of course I’ll take your fish.”

“And will you promise me that you’ll always stay this honest and sweet?”

“I’ll do what I can.”

He walked me to the door of my apartment and handed over the giant stack of mail before leaning down and kissing my cheek. “You deserve to be happy. Keep in touch, okay?”

“I will. No more drugs, right?”

“Nah, I’m done with that. I think I’m gonna go to college with Ashley next year and study music.”

“Good boy,” I said, breaking down into tears again. “These are happy tears.”

He smiled. “I know.”

I closed the door and immediately ran for the phone to call Jerry.

“Hello?” Jerry had six adorable kids, and they all happened to be talking at the same time when I called.

“Jerry!” I yelled over the noise.

“Hey, Kate. Let me go outside, hold on.”

While I waited, I heard at least three different tiny voices yell, “Daddy!”

“What’s up?” he asked.

“I don’t want to bother you while you’re with your kids, but I’m going to need to talk with you soon. I’ve made some decisions.”

“Well, I’m going to put the kids down and then meet Beth at Harvey’s to go over a breaking story. Do you want to meet us there at nine?”

“That would be perfect. I need to tell her as well.”

“Okay, I’ll see you there.”

I hung up, threw on a pair of jeans, my red cowboy boots, and my winter coat, and headed out into the freezing Chicago air. I contemplated going back up to my apartment to grab a scarf, but I didn’t have much time so I made my way toward the L. Walking into Harvey’s, I instantly spotted Beth and Jerry seated at the long oak bar. When I approached Beth, she stood up and moved down one stool so I could sit in the middle.

“Well, what’s this all about?” Jerry asked.

“I’m going to do it!” I said triumphantly. The bartender turned and looked in my direction. I waved him toward me. “I’ll take the Lawson Pinot,” I said, then faced Jerry and grinned. “It’s a sexy wine.” He nodded, looking somewhat bewildered.

“I have a feeling you’re going to give us some bittersweet news,” Beth said.

“I want to see about finishing my book.”

“I knew it.” Jerry smacked the bar top. “I knew you were up to something. I guess this means you’re done with the Crier?”

“You both have given me so much support. You had faith in me when I was producing crap. When I could barely formulate a coherent sentence, you continued sending stories my way, Jerry. And Beth, you are an amazing writer and a serious inspiration to me. I am done with the Crier, but I’m not done with you guys.”

“What about Jamie?” Beth asked.