But the thought of facing the forest alone still made the familiar trees seem forbidding.
The fire was already lit in the clearing. Judith and Katherine sat near it, leaning toward the warmth.
Claire walked steadily into the clearing with her head held high. If she slinked in, hunched over like she was guilty, it would be worse. She'd look weak. Uncertain. And the pack would treat her that way.
Katherine and Judith stared at her as she approached the fire. Katherine had a look of simple relief scrolling across her face like a news ticker, but it was Judith that Claire was worried about. Her expression was complex—she looked conflicted. Happy, but also lonely. And there was a strong odor of regret coming from her side of the fire.
Before Claire could say anything, Beatrice came through the trees, a voluminous black shawl wrapped around her like a cocoon. She looked serious as death, but something unrecognizable glittered in her eyes.
The women greeted each other, and Marie took up her spot by the fire, raising her arms to bring everyone to attention.
"You are all aware of what has happened today. But I wish for Claire to tell us, in her own way, so that everyone understands. So that there is no risk of miscommunication. Then I will discuss the consequences for her actions."
Claire licked her lips, searching for the words to begin, but her mother cut her off.
"We will transform first," she said sharply. "Human words are a limited way to tell your story."
Claire snapped her teeth shut and nodded, vaguely irritated but in no position to argue.
"You may transform," Marie announced.
In a blink, the fire was ringed with wolves.
Wrapped in the comfortable warmth of her fur, Claire stared at the clearing, with its familiar trees and patch of sky. Her gaze traveled over the rough coats of the wolves who had become a sort of family to her. She didn't want to lose this— not yet. Not ever. But if killing Amy was the price she had to pay, it was just too high.
There was a brief rustling in the forest, and Victoria appeared. A stray leaf was caught in her hair, and she clutched Aura in her arms. Claire's heart began to race, thudding against the different but familiar shape of her wolf ribs. Victoria was supposed to be at home.
"I'm sorry," Victoria panted. "I couldn't stay away. I know—I know I'm excused because of the baby, but I had to be here. Wait—" She pulled a blanket out from under her arm and laid Aura on it. Once the baby was settled, Victoria transformed.
Please. I know I wasn't invited. She bowed low in front of Marie. But Claire and I have gotten closer in the last several weeks, and she's done so much for me. I couldn't—I couldn't not be here.
Claire shivered, feeling feverish. Victoria's presence made the possibility that she was about to become a seule all the more real, but having such an obvious ally sitting across the fire made Claire feel better.
Marie flicked her ears in Victoria's direction, motioning for her to get up. You are a member of this pack. You are welcome to be a part of this, though I would encourage you not to exhaust yourself. You gave birth only a few days ago.
Katherine gazed eagerly at the baby, her paws inching closer. It's nice to see Aura, though. I hate to think that in just a few months, she'll be hidden away from us until I'm practically an old woman.
I am fine. Victoria sat right up against the baby and met Marie and Beatrice's worried faces with a steady gaze.
If you're sure . . . Marie turned to Claire. Begin, please. Her mother sat gracefully by the fire, her ears flicking.
Claire closed her eyes for a brief moment, taking in a deep breath of the winter air.
Okay.
As simply as she could, she told the story of going to the bridge to kill Amy. The prickly awfulness of waiting and then the roller-coaster rush that came when she realized she couldn't go through with the pack's plan. She could feel her body twitching and moving, telling the story in its own way. The twitching noses of the rest of the pack told her that they were smelling the truth in her words.
She didn't flinch from it. She laid everything bare, knowing that the only way they'd be able to accept her decision was if they truly understood the way she'd felt and what she'd been thinking.
She told them about going to Matthew's and the conversation she'd had with him, looking for a way around the pack's law and Marie's order—before Amy had come over, before Amy and Matthew had talked and Claire had realized that there was never any reason to kill Amy in the first place.
She came to the end of the story, flinching a little when she realized that she hadn't called Amy yet. Tomorrow morning, she promised herself. She dragged her attention back to the wolves, who were staring at her.
So. That's what happened. I leave it to you to judge my actions. I stand by what I did, but I—I recognize that it was not in line with the will of the pack. I still think it was right.