Judith's voice was smooth and rigid as steel. "It's part of our laws, Claire. Enforcing them is your mother's responsibility. If she doesn't do it, the pack will. I will. If another pack—even a seule—found out that we'd broken the laws just to protect an Alpha's daughter, they'd have no respect for us. We'd be targeted. Possibly even attacked. Our territory, these woods, would be considered up for grabs." She hesitated, regret fluttering across her face. "I wouldn't do it because I want to hurt you, but because there are so many threats to our pack, and they don't all come from the human world. Making exceptions weakens us."
Marie interrupted her, the crease between her eyebrows and the lines on the sides of her mouth deepening as she spoke. "Judith is right. As much as I wish things were different, everything she has said is true." She took a step closer to Claire, lowering her voice. "All you have to do is light the fire, and you will be a Beta wolf, like the rest. Whole. Able to hunt, able to advance in the pack, someday." Marie blinked rapidly, and Claire realized that she was actually crying.
Oh, holy . . . they're going to cut off my ear. If I can't do it, they'll actually cut off my freaking ear.
Claire felt herself sway.
"What about the rest of the ceremony?" she managed to ask.
"You don't look like you're in any condition to continue," Marie said, her face smoothing as she gained control of herself, "and since we're postponing the fire lighting, I don't see why we can't do the rest later as well."
"I think that's a good idea," Beatrice offered, her kind voice wrapping around Claire like a bandage.
"Then you may go," Marie said, dismissing the other wolves with a wave. "We will not gather again until the next full moon. Unless, of course, Victoria has the baby sooner than I anticipate."
Claire shuddered. There was no way to know how long she had. She was going to have to master the fire lighting, no matter what. No more late-night phone calls with Emily. No more parties or soccer matches getting in the way. Not when the consequences for failing were so severe.
Leaving the other wolves behind, Claire and her mother walked back through the forest together, headed home.
"I am not planning to harp on tonight's failures," her mother said quietly.
Claire waited, her feet moving mechanically along the path.
"But do not ever keep a secret like that from me again. If I had known you were struggling, I might have been able to do something to help you. But now that the pack knows, now that it has been set in motion, my hands are tied."
Claire gritted her teeth.
She means that Judith is tying her hands—and taking my ear, if I can't light the fire.
The thought pounded through her head like an unending drumbeat of dread, growing louder and louder until it was the only thing she could hear.
Chapter Nine
SHE WAS SO late to school the next day that she went flying into her first-period class, still in her coat, her hair wet and cold against her cheeks. She hadn't seen Matthew or Emily— hadn't even stopped by her locker. Which was just as well, since that meant she still had her chem notes with her. The horror of the night before faded a little with the first bell, and with an uncomfortable thud Claire landed right back in the middle of her human life, complete with the need to pass chemistry.
She flicked through the flash cards under her desk, trying to look like she was paying attention to the history lecture at the same time. Class ended way too soon. Claire shoved the note cards back into her bag and hurried out the door, hoping she'd at least be able to ditch her coat before she had to face the test.
Matthew was waiting for her. He looked nervous and exhausted. Exactly how Claire felt. "Hey, there. Did you—" His eyes scanned her, looking for something. "Wait—have you been to your locker yet?"
Claire shook her head. "I overslept," she said, juggling her coat in her arms.
"Well, if we hurry, you'll have time." Matthew grinned at her.
She narrowed her eyes. Whatever she'd been expecting after he left the gathering, it wasn't this.
"Okay. . ." she said, turning to walk toward her locker. Playing along.
When she opened the door, her confusion rose and swirled until she was dizzy with it. Inside was exactly the sort of thing she'd expected to find yesterday. A gorgeous yellow rose, its ruffled petals filling her locker with a cloying smell. There was a little note wrapped around the stem. Slowly, Claire reached for it, unfurling the paper.
Good luck on your Chem test—not that you need it! You're too brilliant to need luck on this one.
Love,
Matthew
Claire turned to look at Matthew. She knew her disbelief showed on her face, but she didn't really care. He had completely ignored the new moon gathering, which had been massively important, but he was wishing her luck on a stupid chemistry test? Did he really think she cared that much about a school test after the disaster of the night before?
Irritation scratched its way up Claire's insides. He really couldn't deal with the fact that she was a werewolf. And she didn't know what to do about that.
But not now. I can't deal with it now—I'll just have to manage until after I figure out the fire thing.
Not having her ear mutilated had to be her priority. After the naming, she could sort out her tension with Matthew.
"What's wrong?" he asked. "Your face just went all funny."
"Oh, thanks. That's exactly what every girl wants to hear in the morning," Claire joked. Well, half-joked.