Emily waved over her shoulder and swept out of the cafeteria, which had turned into a mass-exodus.
Claire turned and headed for class. A few more days. One lousy party. Then she could get through the new moon gathering and back to normal life.
At least, as normal as a werewolf 's life ever got. That night, Claire was planning to slip off into the woods, but her mother eyed her running clothes with suspicion.
"Are you going for a run or into the forest?" she asked.
Claire hesitated.
"You are ready for the gathering, yes?" she asked.
"Yeah," Claire said, with more confidence than she felt. "I mean, I'm sure it's going to go fine."
She didn't want to see the disappointed look that she knew would appear on her mother's face if she admitted she was having trouble.
"All right. Well, enjoy your exercise."
"Thanks," Claire mumbled, slipping out the door.
She ran the long way into the woods, jogging a couple of miles down the road to a quiet spot where the trees strayed close to the pavement. It was a perfect cover—she'd be able to tell her mother, truthfully, that she'd been for a run, but she could still go make sure that she was ready for the new moon ceremony.
She hurried to the main clearing, the one where they met for the gatherings. It was closer than her practice spot. She stepped into the open space beneath the trees, which was darker than usual since it was lit only by a thin arc of the crescent moon.
Only, she wasn't alone.
Chapter Five
"OH! I'M SORRY." Claire froze at the edge of the clearing.
Victoria was sitting on a log, her arms wrapped around her enormous belly. She looked up at Claire. "Don't be sorry. I heard you coming, and you're allowed to be here as much as I am." Her voice was flat, lifeless, and Claire began to worry. Victoria had always been so nice—timid, maybe, a little nervous, but nice.
"Are you okay?" Claire asked.
Victoria shrugged. "I guess. Mostly. I can't sleep anymore—that's why I walked over here. My hips hurt, and I get heartburn and—" She stopped suddenly, looking up at Claire with a miserable smile on her face. "Sorry. There's no way you want to hear about all this pregnancy stuff."
"No, it's fine," Claire protested as sincerely as she could. She didn't really want to hear about it, but she didn't want to make Victoria feel any worse than she obviously already did.
"Nah," Victoria said. "It's boring. But it's completely taken over my life, and I can't think about anything else." She sighed. "I feel like I'm barely part of the pack anymore—I can't do half the things I'm supposed to."
"But you're pregnant." Claire protested.
"Exactly!" Victoria huffed. "That's all I am anymore. 'The pregnant one.' I miss being just me. I miss participating." She shook her head. "My mom's so nervous, and now your mom's nervous. It's like it's a requirement for being the Alpha—that suddenly you have to be paranoid about everything. It feels so awful to watch everyone else run off to hunt while I'm left behind. You must've felt the same way last summer. I can't stand seeing the rest of the pack doing all the things I would be doing if I weren't stuck behind this belly."
Victoria had never been this honest with Claire. Claire lowered herself onto the hard ground and stared over at Victoria. It made her miss Zahlia, being with Victoria, just the two of them. Not the crazy, death-hungry wolf that Zahlia had turned out to be, but the friend that she'd seemed like in the beginning. Claire missed having a wolf friend. Someone she could talk to—really talk to—who knew what it felt like to be in wolf-skin. To change back and forth. To feel the pull of the moon.
"I'm sorry," Victoria said. "I shouldn't be dumping all of this on you. . . ."
"It's okay," Claire said. "I understand. I—" She hesitated. If she was honest with Victoria, Victoria might run straight to Marie, making Claire look like even more of an idiot.
But maybe she wouldn't do that. The possibility of being Victoria's friend glittered in front of her, close enough to touch. Dazzled by the idea, Claire reached out.
"I've been having some trouble, too. I know how it feels to watch the other wolves doing something you know you should be able to do." Her voice was barely more than a whisper. "I haven't lit the ceremonial fire. I tried for weeks and weeks, and I finally made some twigs smoke the other night . . . but that's the only time."
Victoria's mouth fell open. "But everyone can do that."
Claire felt her face crumple like a used tissue.
Victoria caught herself. "Sorry. I—does your mom know?"
Claire stared up at the sky, her eyes going everywhere except to Victoria's shocked, sympathetic gaze. "I didn't want her to be disappointed. And I've been sort of embarrassed about it. I mean, Judith already looks at me like I'm some pigtailed kid who's tagging along for the ride. I didn't exactly want to reinforce that idea, you know?"