He loosed a sigh, as though he were losing patience. “Yes. It’s the only way you can learn.”
“Okay.” Her pulse began to race. Something about the thought of being so close to Bael’s powerful body sent a strange thrill through her. She tugged up the hem of her skirt, climbing the three steps to Bael’s throne.
Turning her face to hide the embarrassing blush in her cheeks, she sat in his lap. He slid a powerful hand around her waist.
Despite the icy magic whirling around him, his muscled body began to warm her.
“I’m going to allow the magic to flow through you, okay?” His breath warmed the side of her face.
She had the strongest impulse to reach back and touch his face, but she resisted. He had said she meant nothing to him, that he felt bound to help her out of some misguided sense of duty. It was humiliating that she even had to rely on him for help. Still, she supposed she had to take help where she could get it.
She straightened. “I’m ready.”
Icy magic wrapped around her ribs, kissing the bare skin at her throat—a dizzying, electrical charge of power. As her back began to arch, her legs fell to either side of his. His arm tightened around her waist. Then, from all around her, the shadow magic flowed into her chest, freezing her from the inside out.
A painful, hollow dread bloomed in her chest, a ravenous hunger. The world around her seemed to fragment and collapse, and darkness clouded her vision. She could no longer tell where she was—couldn’t feel Bael’s body beneath hers, couldn’t tell up from down.
From the depths of the void, an image burst into her view: Bael, pressing a dagger to her chest. In shockingly swift movement, he shoved it under her ribs, stopping her heart.
There, she saw herself lying in the dirt, her skin gray, her jaw slackened, lips blue. Red hair spread limply on the bloodstained ground. Dull green eyes, full of mute horror. And in their lifeless reflection—flames. A burning room. The fire that would eat her alive.
As quickly as it had arrived, the image was snuffed out again, and she stood at the edge of an abyss. She just needed to take one more step, to plunge into an isolation so complete it would gnaw the flesh from her bones. An uncontrollable urge pulled her into the void. I don’t exist. I never did. I never will.
“Ursula!” A deep voice boomed through the void.
She could feel something again—a warm hand on her body. She shivered uncontrollably, her teeth chattering.
“Ursula!” Bael’s voice called to her. He pulled her closer to his warm body. She’d changed position, her legs now sideways on his lap. The magic had seeped from the air, but she still shivered. The chill spread through her chest.
Bael’s arms enveloped her. “I’m not sure what happened. I was modulating the power. It shouldn’t have overwhelmed you like that.”
She glanced up into his eyes, that icy gray...
Once more, her vision went dark, and she found herself standing on a dark cliff. There was something she needed to get to—a woman with red hair like hers, and fierce brown eyes. An old man, his hands spotted with age. A wall of darkness slammed against her.
You don’t want to remember those things.
She felt a sharp tug from the center of her chest, drawing her to the edge. And when she glanced into the void, its vibrations sang her name. A dark lullaby...this was her mother, her father, her home.
“Ursula!” Bael’s voice called her back.
Freezing cold, a violent convulsion overtook her body. Aching sadness pierced her chest.
Bael pulled her in closer, his powerful arms surrounding her. “Ursula. Stay with me. Remember who you are.”
Her arms were around his neck, as if she was clinging to him for dear life.
“Use your own memories to warm your body. Think of your life. Use your memories to fill the void.”
Hollow agony filled her ribs. “I don’t have any memories.”
“Right. Maybe that’s the problem.”
He slid his hand up her chest, pressing it onto her heart. At the touch of his hand between her breasts, her skin began to warm. A dark heat whispered up her spine, curling her back. She swallowed hard. “What are you doing with your hand?”
“I’m drawing the magic out of you.” His perfect lips were mere inches from hers.
She could feel a hot blush rising to her cheeks, her body responding to his touch, whether she wanted it to or not. She was sure he could see her pupils dilating, the sheen of sweat rising on her skin.
How easy would it be to just lean in? She knew how he felt—that he didn’t care for her at all. But right now, with her body curled into his, with the warmth shooting through her core, she could hardly think straight.
“Tell me what you saw?”