Nick grinned as the woman’s face twisted into an angry mask, warring between shock and fury. She jabbed a finger so close to his face the security guard at the head of the line moved to stand near her. “That’s it, you dolt! Don’t you know what you’ve just done?!”
Nick turned to Gus questioningly. “I’m trying to get to the bottom of this, Gus. Where could I have went with this confrontation to make it better?”
“Are you insane? Think about it, big shot! Went is the past tense of to go! Gone is the past participle of to go! It would be ‘where could I have gone with this conversation’ you moron!”
Nick stood, making calming gestures with his hands. “Easy… easy does it. I’m sorry. I was having a little fun. So your point is I’ve made the went/gone error four times in ‘Assassin’s Folly’?”
The woman’s arms crossed in triumphant form. “Exactly. I can’t understand when a professional writer writes a novel for public consumption, why he or she skips over basic tenets of grammar. It’s an absolute travesty that these errors were missed by you and the big shot publisher’s editing department.”
“First, let me apologize for not writing a story so engrossing as to get you past any small typos or grammar mistakes. As to my editor who is a very thorough and rugged sentinel of good grammar, she and I have an agreement not to sweat the small stuff. If you’ll notice, I did these errors in dialogue.” Nick bent over, paging through the book’s markers, showing the woman who became more and more annoyed as Nick pointed out each error in character interaction. “I have an understanding that I can write dialogue the way I hear people speak. That is in her defense why these were not changed. In my own defense, I thought gone sounded harsh in the instance and not the way I’ve heard it spoken, so I went with went.”
The finger pointing became physical as the woman poked into Nick with her finger while he shook off the approaching security guard with a smile. “You didn’t like the sound of the proper application so you use the wrong grammatical word in its place? That is obscene! You should be ashamed of yourself!”
“I would simply remind you ‘Assassin’s Folly’ was over a hundred twenty thousand words. That’s a lot to get so upset over four of the words. Thank you for your gracious input, Ms. Now, would you like your book signed or my head on a platter. I can provide the first but not the second.”
Nick’s banter had the crowded line chuckling. It did nothing to curb the woman’s insulted sensibilities. The woman spun on the crowd as if she were a reincarnation of the ancient Greek Gorgon from mythology and could turn her fellow bookstore inhabitants into stone.
“Don’t you people believe in good literature?! This sets a horrible example to our youth!”
A woman older than the woman critic who was second in line spoke in a thick Boston accent before anyone else could. “Actually, I love the stories. I didn’t even notice what you’re pointing out. Nick’s Diego stories are so good I forget where I am sometimes. Why not either let him sign your book and get over yourself or get the hell out of the way?”
The went/gone woman gasped at the dressing down, and the subsequent loudly expressed agreement from the other people in line. She turned, grabbed her book off the table and marched out to appreciative applause.
“I guess it’s a good thing we started early today, folks,” Nick said. “Welcome everyone.”
Nick sat down and signed the lady’s book who loved his stories, exchanging smiles and normal greetings.
“May I talk to Gus for a moment,” the woman asked.
“Certainly,” Nick answered. “The ancient mariner would be happy to converse with you. Right, Gus?”
“Absolutely. Come over here so Hemingway will have room to sign the next book. This is our very good friend, John Groves.”
The lady shook John’s hand. “I have a fifty-one foot catamaran, Gus. Do you have much experience with them? I mean… have you sailed them in waters like the Caribbean?”
“I have indeed. You can sail a cat or beach it without damage or have it fall over.”
Chapter Nine
Bad BK and Assassin Awareness
Nick listened to the conversation in between signings and more normal question and answer sessions with reader fans, glad Gus and John were with him. Since the manager kept track of the number of people while gauging the average number Nick handled in an hour, he asked if Nick could continue the signing until 7 pm. Nick agreed without reservation. Except for very short bathroom breaks, Nick kept signing and conversing without stopping. Nearing the five o’clock hour, Gus noticed a man with helter-skelter dark hair and wispy beard.
“Hey Nick, I like the ragamuffin for a BK. I’m alerting John.”