“I love you too,” I said against his broad chest, squeezing him with my arms. I felt his chest seize at my words, his breathing stop, his heart race. I pulled away slightly to look up at him. His mouth was partly open and he looked sincerely shocked. Apparently he wasn’t expecting me to say the words back to him. That made me love him even more. I reached up, cupped his beautiful face, and pulled his mouth down to mine. I melted into him, his hand tangling in the hair at my nape, his other arm wrapping around my waist.
His tongue swept inside my mouth and tasted me. It was primal, the way he seemed to devour me. With just lips and tongue I was left to his mercy, wishing to feel his need for me always. I wanted to give him everything and feel like I was getting everything from him in return. It was new, this feeling of being 100 percent sure, but I was. And every time his lips caressed mine, it only solidified that I was making the right choice.
“You don’t know how happy you make me,” he said as he pressed his mouth to my neck, breathing me in.
“I could say the same thing to you,” I replied, my voice raspy and shaking, emotion making every part of me tremble.
“There’s nothing in the world, from this moment on, that’s going to keep me from you, Kal. Understand that. I get why you needed time, why you needed space, but I’m done giving it to you.”
I felt the sting of tears as they started to well in my eyes. I knew Marcus would want this for me, would want me to be happy with Riot. But sometimes, it hurt to be happy, to feel joy, knowing he wasn’t here to experience life at all.
“Babe,” he said, pulling me closer, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. “Marcus is up there, running around, and he’s happy. He’s free up there, Kal. You’ll see him again someday, and he’ll run to you with open arms, just like he used to, and he’ll be so glad you didn’t spend your whole life sad for him.”
“I know,” I said, my words muffled against his chest.
“Hey.” He pulled away and placed a finger just below my chin, pulling my face up to meet his eyes. “I don’t mean you can’t be sad anymore. I just want to make sure you know that you can be sad with me. If you’re missing him, tell me a story about him.” He pushed some of my hair behind my ear and then his fingers trailed down my neck until he was holding me around my nape, firmly gripping me, squeezing gently. “I want you to lean on me, let me in. I’ll always listen.”
“I love you,” I whispered. He didn’t answer me, just leaned down and pressed his lips to mine in a soft, lingering kiss.
Chapter Eleven
I’m Asking to Come Home
Riot
The rest of the day passed uneventfully. I never let Kalli out of my sight, always keeping a hand on her in some way or another. The words we’d exchanged on the rocks by the ocean were real to me; they meant something. I could tell they meant a lot to her as well, but I wasn’t ready to let her go yet, wasn’t ready to be away from her where I couldn’t read her face, or see in her eyes how she was feeling. I suppose a part of me was afraid if I wasn’t there to remind her of how much I loved her and wanted to support her, she’d disappear on me again. Maybe not physically, but emotionally. And that would be just as devastating.
After the sun had set and a lot of the family had left for the evening, Halah, Ma, Pops, Kalli, and I were sitting on the deck around the fire pit. My aunt and uncle had turned in for the evening.
“Did you have a good birthday, sis?” A smile spread across Halah’s face, but her eyes never left the fire.
“Yeah, I did.”
“It was good to finally have you home,” Ma said. “You don’t come home often enough.”
I watched as Halah resisted the urge to roll her eyes at our mother. I could see both of their points. Ma missed Halah. Halah wanted to be independent. It was every mother-daughter relationship I’d ever witnessed.
Ma must have picked up on the tension and didn’t want to upset Halah any more than she already had. “Kalli, would you like to go inside with me and look at some baby pictures of Riot?”
Kalli’s eyes lit up like my mother had offered her a diamond-encrusted tiara. “That would be incredible.”
My mother gave a small clap and then stood up and walked toward the house. Kalli stood too, but before she made it too far, I tugged on her hand and pulled her toward me, then tugged again, bringing her face down to mine.
“Don’t be gone too long,” I said, just before I captured her mouth with mine.
“Okay,” she breathed. I was satisfied I’d made her breath falter, so I let her go, watching her disappear into the house with my mother.
“I’m going to make sure the front of the house is all closed down. You never know which windows and doors have come unlocked with all our crazy family members visiting,” Pops announced as he stood and headed for the house.
We were alone for just a moment before Halah broke the silence.
“So spill, Riot. Is it serious with her?”
Halah had never been one to beat around the bush, so I wasn’t really surprised by her question.
“I don’t ever plan on being with anyone else.”