“No, you sh—”
Ryan quieted Z by placing his finger over his mouth. “I should. And I am. God knows I don’t deserve you.” Ryan swiped his thumb over the stubble lining Z’s jaw. “But I can’t give you up. The only thing I can do is prove to you that I’m worthy.”
“I like the sound of that,” Z said with a sexy smirk. “I definitely like the sound of that.” Z laughed. “Again, when you talk like that, I hear sex.”
Ryan couldn’t help but smile. A surge of emotion flooded him. Love, lust, hope, anticipation. It was all there, threatening to choke him up, but of course Z was there to lighten the mood, to give Ryan something to cling to.
“I love you, Ryan,” Z whispered, once again kissing him lightly.
“I never thought I’d get to hear you say that,” Ryan told him. For the past few days, he’d feared he had lost Z forever.
“I told you, never say never.”
“Your motto.”
Z nodded. “My motto. I knew you’d figure it out sooner or later.”
“Better late than never,” Ryan stated.
“There you go with the clichés again.”
Ryan pressed his lips to Z’s, talking between kisses. “Well, I can think of one way to get me to be quiet.”
“Bedroom?” Z asked.
“Right here,” Ryan said. “Right now.”
Z nodded toward Ryan’s elbow. “You sure you’re up for it?”
“I’m up for anything you can give me.”
“Why does it feel like we’ve had this conversation before?” Z asked, mischief gleaming in his dark eyes.
“Naked,” Ryan ordered.
“You sure?”
“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”
“Okay,” Z said, climbing to his feet. “I’ll be right back.”
When he disappeared down the hall, Ryan called after him. “Where’re you goin’?”
“To brush my teeth!”
“Seriously?”
Z stuck his head back in the room. “No. I’m goin’ to get the lube.”
“I figured you had some in your pocket,” Ryan joked.
“Not this time, but trust me, that’s not a mistake I’ll make again.” Z turned away, leaving Ryan staring after him.
Ryan glanced at the couch, then back at the hall. Rather than wait for Z, Ryan got up and trailed him back to his bedroom. He found Z in his room, rummaging through the nightstand. Shutting the door behind him, Ryan adjusted his sweat pants. He only had one functioning hand, so getting undressed wasn’t going to be all that easy, even though he’d gone without a shirt after fighting with the damn thing for five minutes trying to get it on without hurting his arm.
“I love when you strip for me,” Z told him, his eyes glittering with heat.
“Maybe you should help,” Ryan said, trying to force his pants down his hips with one hand.
“My pleasure.”
Once again, Z was on his knees before Ryan, this time pulling his sweat pants down his legs, allowing Ryan to step out of them.
“Sit,” Z commanded, nodding toward the bed.
His body tensed with anticipation. Ryan would never tire of Z taking charge. “Do you realize what a turn-on that is?” Ryan asked as he took a seat on the edge of the bed.
“What?” Z asked, moving closer, his hands sliding up the insides of Ryan’s thighs.
“That take-charge thing you do.” Ryan’s voice cracked as his cock thickened.
Z leaned forward, kissing the head of Ryan’s dick, the gentle touch sending all the blood in Ryan’s body straight to his groin. Z’s mouth was gentle, as was his touch. He kissed and licked Ryan’s cock until it was hard and aching, but never giving him enough.
“Z.” Ryan slid the fingers of his good hand into Z’s hair, pulling him forward and sinking his dick into the warmth of Z’s mouth. “Oh, God, yes.”
Z never hurried, never used his hands, simply bobbed up and down on Ryan’s cock, laving him, sending shards of pleasure coursing through him until the ache in his arm disappeared entirely. When Z stood, helping Ryan to lean back on the bed and stripping out of his clothes, Ryan wasn’t sure he’d be able to wait much longer.
Once he had rolled the condom on and coated his cock with lube, Z gripped Ryan’s ankles, pulling him toward him—again mindful of his arm—until Ryan’s ass rested on the edge of the mattress.
“Don’t move,” Z told him, adjusting his position by placing his knee on the mattress while keeping his eyes locked with Ryan’s.
Ryan nodded. “Don’t worry. There’s no place I’d rather be than right here. I’m not running anymore, Z.”
Z teased Ryan’s anus with two fingers briefly before taking his dick in hand and guiding it to where Ryan needed him most, still never taking his eyes off Ryan’s. It was intoxicating, being lost in Z’s gaze while he entered him slowly, pushing deep but never rushing.
“I love you,” Z whispered, holding Ryan’s legs as he slid in slowly, then retreated the same way.
This was a first for Ryan, making love like this, both of them captured in the moment, connected not only by their bodies but by something far deeper, far more intense than anything Ryan had ever known.
“I love you, too,” Ryan said on a gasp. Z’s thick cock filled him so perfectly. “So fucking much.”
Z continued to fuck him gently, rocking forward and back, holding Ryan’s legs so that he didn’t move away from him. When he reached between Ryan’s legs and wrapped his fist around Ryan’s cock, it was too much.
“Z, it’s been too long,” Ryan admitted. There was no way he could hold back. His release was rushing upon him.
“Come for me, Ryan. While I’m buried deep inside you, come for me.”
The delicious friction continued as Z plunged inside, his movements getting more forceful but never enough to jar Ryan. Z was holding back, that was evident. He was making sure he didn’t hurt Ryan, and that alone had Ryan’s heart pounding, emotion clogging his throat.
God, he loved this man. And he’d been telling the truth when he’d said he didn’t deserve him, but there was no way Ryan wanted to live the rest of his life without him.
“Ryan,” Z growled. “Come for me, baby. Oh, God.”
As Z stroked Ryan’s cock, he gave himself over to the man completely, no longer holding anything back. Z’s hips jerked forward, thrusting deep.
“Fuck,” Ryan cried out, his eyes closing as his cock swelled and pulsed.
And when Z’s hips stilled, his dick pulsing in Ryan’s ass, Ryan came in Z’s hand, feeling whole for the first time in his entire life.
THIRTY-EIGHT
The next day
“I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE HE passed out,” Trace said, laughing as he looked across the table at RT. “Strapped to the fucking chair.”
Z was tempted to punch his friend, but when RT smiled, he managed to refrain.
The small conference room was filled almost to capacity. It seemed like the entire Sniper 1 team was there—Trace, Courtney, Clay, RT, Conner, Colby, Tanner, Hunter, Dominic, Austin, Evan, Kira, Decker, Jayden, along with Casper and Bryce, who were standing at the front of the room. Even TJ, Steph, Elizabeth, and Emily were in attendance, sitting at the back of the room. All fifteen chairs at the table were filled; more had been brought in for this.
Like the others, Z had no idea what was about to happen. Everyone’s previous side conversations had stopped once Trace had started to tease RT, and the tension was increasing as everyone waited.
“You’da thought he’d taken one to the chest,” Clay added, laughing alongside Trace.
“Will you two shut the fuck up?” RT said, grinning. “I was shot.”