AS SOON AS THE WORDS left his mouth, Ryan knew he’d said the wrong thing. It’d sounded a lot different coming out than it had bouncing around in his head. Truth was, he was nervous.
And it was true, most of the time conversation wasn’t part of the sexual experience for him, and certainly not a topic like this one. That was what a date was for. Dinner, casual conversation, getting to know someone. But in the privacy of the bedroom, Ryan didn’t want to talk, only it was clear Z had other plans.
“Is that what you see this as?” Z finally asked, his expression masked. “A deal?”
“No,” Ryan stated firmly, wrapping his arms around Z, fearful that he’d try to escape. “I’m just…” It took him a moment to gather his thoughts, but he finally did. “I’m not good at this. The intimacy part.”
“You’re much better than you give yourself credit for,” Z told him, his eyes trailing down to Ryan’s mouth briefly.
“The idle chatter…it’s not my thing. Usually.”
“Then what is?”
Leave it to Z to drag more words out of him when he didn’t want to talk at all. At a time when he wanted Z to be buried balls deep within him, the man wanted to have a heart-to-heart.
Ryan wanted to distract him, but based on the gleam in Z’s stunning brown eyes, it was clear that this aspect of the encounter was important to him. And above all else, Ryan really did want to give Z what he needed. He wanted to please him, to make him happy, to earn one of those heart-melting smiles. All while getting a chance to have the whole man to himself.
He trailed his palms up Z’s thick arms, rounding his big shoulders and then cupping his neck. “Feeling. That’s my thing. I just need to feel.”
Z appeared to understand based on the short jerky nod he offered moments before his mouth grazed Ryan’s. Within seconds, the room heated several degrees, their naked bodies gliding against one another, hands roaming, mouths claiming. Ryan was left desperate for more when Z trailed his mouth downward, over his chest, his stomach, then hovering precariously close to Ryan’s dick.
He thought he’d known what to expect after last night, but the warmth of Z’s mouth on him was the equivalent of an electrical shock, sending nearly painful impulses to all of his nerve endings, the pleasure threatening to overwhelm him.
Z applied exquisite suction, taking him deep, teasing the oversensitive head with the flat of his tongue while cupping Ryan’s balls firmly. Unlike last night, there was no rush, nor was there a reason to. Z seemed to know that.
“You’ve really never…?” Z licked Ryan’s balls, the warmth of his breath making Ryan’s dick twitch.
“Never.”
“So, I’ll be your first?”
The hair on Ryan’s arms stood on end, too many sensations coursing through him as Z licked him from root to tip. “Yes.”
“You want to feel me here?” Z asked, using the tip of his finger to tease Ryan’s anus.
“Yes,” he rasped. More than he could express. It was true, he’d never bottomed before, but not because he was against it. He’d merely always been the more aggressive lover.
Z’s big body hovered over him once again, his nose close to Ryan’s. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”
The sincerity in Z’s tone shocked him. “But I thought…” Ryan hadn’t misjudged Z, had he?
“That I’m usually a top?” Z smiled. “When it comes to you, I’ll take you any way I can have you, as you already know. But yes, your assumption was accurate.” Z’s deep voice lowered. “Trust me, I have every intention of fucking you until you beg me to let you come. I still don’t wanna hurt you.”
Ryan’s mouth went dry. This wasn’t going the way he’d planned. This wasn’t the way it had been that first time. That had been a quick fuck, both of them giving in to the irresistible lust. It was supposed to be spontaneous and dirty, quick and fun. This felt far too intimate.
Then again, this was Z. He wasn’t a random lover or a guy Ryan had just picked up at a bar. He was a friend, someone Ryan had come to respect—not to mention care about—over the years. Still, this was new and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it yet.
“Quit thinking,” Z growled. “I’m not askin’ you to marry me.”
Ryan forced a laugh, but there was no amusement in it. He was nervous, that he couldn’t deny.
The next thing Ryan knew, he was flipped over onto his stomach, Z’s heavy body crushing him into the mattress, Z’s hard chest flattened against Ryan’s back, his thick cock grinding between Ryan’s ass cheeks.
“Yes,” Ryan pleaded. This he understood.
“I take it you thought ahead for this, right?” Z asked, his mouth pressed against Ryan’s ear.
“Condom and lube…in the drawer,” Ryan forced out, barely able to breath beneath the glorious weight of Z.
But then Z was gone, and there was the sound of the drawer being opened then slammed closed.
As he looked at him now, Ryan realized Z was far larger than he’d anticipated. Sure, he’d managed to take Z in his mouth—not easily, but he’d managed—but the mere thought of Z fucking him with that monster made his asshole clench. Ryan focused on breathing as he watched Z swiftly open the condom and roll it over his thick, heavy erection before uncapping the lube, then positioning himself over Ryan again.
“You’re gonna have to—” Ryan was quickly cut off when Z nipped his shoulder, hard enough to send a bolt of pleasure-pain ricocheting down to his balls.
“I know what I’m doin’, Ry. Relax for me.” Z’s words were soothing and gentle, a clear attempt to keep Ryan from panicking.
It wasn’t as simple as clearing his mind, though. Ryan was overly aware of every place where Z’s body touched his own, the sound of Z’s breathing, the way his leg hair brushed against Ryan’s calves.
But he wasn’t afraid. No, this was more like anticipation that kept his body humming. He was desperate to feel Z, but he didn’t know how to express himself. It seemed that when he opened his mouth, the words that came out sounded far crasser than he intended.
So he kept his mouth shut.
Or tried to, anyway.
“Oh, hell,” he said on a breathless moan. Z’s tongue trailed straight down Ryan’s spine—an erogenous zone he hadn’t been aware of until now—his big hands cupping Ryan’s ass firmly, kneading the muscle. It was impossible to focus on only one sensation, so his brain strained to determine which was more potent.
“Yes,” Ryan breathed. “God, yes.”
Z’s tongue dipped along the crack of his ass, sliding lower until he was rimming him, driving Ryan crazy with his tongue over the sensitive flesh. Unable to help himself, he rocked back against Z’s invading tongue, random pleas spouting from his mouth as Z proceeded to tongue-fuck him gently. Z’s tongue was replaced by something cool, the sensations once again warring with one another. But when Z’s finger penetrated him, Ryan’s dick—currently trapped between him and the mattress—jerked in anticipation.
“Tell me it feels good,” Z insisted, his tone firm.
“Yes,” Ryan confirmed.
“Tell me,” Z demanded, driving one finger in deep a few times, followed by two, and then twisting until Ryan damn near flew from the bed.
“Holy fuck! Too much, Z. Too… Oh, fuck, yes.”
Z continued to massage Ryan’s prostate, driving him higher and higher until he thought he would soar right over the edge. Clearly, Z had other plans, because his fingers disappeared, and his knees forced Ryan’s legs farther apart as he positioned himself so that the head of his cock brushed Ryan’s anus.
This was it.
Closing his eyes tightly, he awaited the pain he expected to come, but nothing happened. Not until Z’s body once again covered him, Z’s mouth close to Ryan’s ear.
“You sure this is what you want?” Z whispered. “To feel my dick in your ass?”
“Yes.” A tremor of desire raced through him, tightening his muscles as his body prepared for the pleasure he knew would come.
“I want you right here with me, Ryan.”