My boyfriend has the biggest cock. I’ve seen a lot of them watching porn, so I was scared. But he was careful with me. And let me be on top. It made all the difference. I eased down at my own pace, and instead of letting him fill me, I pretended like I was covering him. I rocked my hips a little when he was inside me and that just stimulated my clit like crazy. Before I knew it, the pain was over and I was enjoying myself. I even came. I know people will say I’m lying, but he was playing with my clit the whole time. And it just felt so good.
OK. I’m feeling a little better about this. Better not ruin it with any more stories. I go back to Google and type in, How to give a blow job.
I get a how-to video from a porn star this time. I need visuals and I need a professional. She qualifies. I watch the girl wrap her lips around the guy’s dick, her tongue flicking in and out. And then she explains the hand movements. Her palms twist as she sucks, bobbing up and down his shaft as she licks and tries to take him deep. The guy moans, so she is definitely doing it right.
I make a mental list. Suck the tip, lick it, pump my hand, twist them a little, take him deep, and then…
Ewww. She lets him come in her mouth. And when she’s done, she says that’s mandatory.
I don’t know about that. I don’t think I can. I’ve seen videos where they come on the girl’s face. In fact, most of the time they do that.
But in a porno, the girls always lick it, which is disgusting.
I’m not going to do either of those. I’m going to let him unload in a condom.
That makes me laugh, which makes me brave.
You can do this, Ivy. He’s going to make it amazing, I just know it.
I tear the hair tie out of my ponytail and shake my long blonde hair out a little. And then I step outside.
Nolan is looking directly at me, arms stretched out along the blue-tiled rim of the pool, treading water in the deep end. “Well,” he says, “I didn’t expect to see you again.”
“Why not? Think you scare me?”
“Yes.”
I lift my head up, defiant. “Well, you don’t.”
“Maybe you should reconsider.”
I step into the pool and walk down the steps until the water is deep enough for me to sink into.
“I like the suit. It’s a good choice.”
I sigh, because I was brought up to be polite. And this was basically a gift. “Thank you. I do too. I can pay you for it—”
“I don’t need your money.”
“Whatever.”
“You want to explain what set you off back there?”
OK, here goes nothing. Be Opposite Ivy. “I don’t like being talked to that way.”
“No?” he says back with a smile. “Why not?”
“It’s rude, for one.”
“It’s hot.”
“To you maybe. I’m not—”
But I stop short. Opposite Ivy wouldn’t say that, would she? Opposite Ivy would like it.
“Just admit it, it’s hot. I get it, you’re not used to it. But that doesn’t mean you have to close yourself off to it.”
I don’t know what to say. I’m not really Opposite Ivy. I wish Nora was here. She’d know what to say to a guy like Nolan Delaney. She’d have quick, witty comebacks all ready to go. She’d stand toe to toe with him and come out winning.
Nolan pushes off the wall of the pool and comes swimming towards me. Slowly. One leisurely stroke at a time. “You’re not what, Ivy? Hot? Desirable? Ready for something… new and different?”
I am ready for something new and different. Even though he scares me. I am ready. I swim forward, doing a side stroke into the middle of the pool, and meet him halfway.
“What happened back there?”
“Nothing happened. I was mad. That’s all.”
“Because I said I wanted to fuck you? Put my cock in your mouth? Are you really that timid?”
“I’m not used to it.”
He moves closer, his arms wrapping around my waist, and my hands automatically go to his shoulders to keep afloat.
“That’s a step forward.”
“Look—”
“No, you look. Don’t be so uptight. Just relax, for fuck’s sake. Enjoy it. It’s a hot summer night, we’re in the middle of the desert, at a huge resort that has a total of thirteen guests including you. We’re in a secluded pool, total privacy.”
Oh, my God. I think he wants to fuck me in the pool. This is going way too fast for me.
“Your heart is beating so fast. Do I scare you that much? Do you really think I’m a rapist?”
“That’s not what—” But I stop again. Because he’s going to ask me what I’m really worried about if I continue.
“Then what?”
“I mean, yes, of course. You have a very bad reputation, Nolan. It’s something I can’t forget about.”
He looks me in the eyes for a few seconds. “You only see what they want you to see. A bad guy. A player. And yeah, I’ve had my share of fun and most of it has been with women. But I’m not that guy in the news. I’m just Mr. Romantic.”
I make a noise that might be a laugh if I wasn’t so nervous. “I’m not sure that’s any better than Nolan Delaney.”
“It is,” he says. His hands slide over my hips in a very provocative gesture. One even slips over the curve of my ass cheek, his fingers lifting the bathing suit up a few inches. “Trust me, it is.”
I stare at his eyes, the green shimmering with the light reflecting off the water. “You said it was ironic. Like your book.”
“It was meant to be. But if you ever get to know the real me, you’ll see what I mean. I’m not all irony, Ivy. I have a very serious, straight side too.”
“Show me,” I say, surprised by my bravado.
He leans in and kisses me. His hand leaves my hip and grabs the back of my neck, preventing me from pulling away.