Stop it! You’re crossing a fine line.
We reached his car, and he threw my bag in the backseat before he helped me into the car. He walked around the front to the driver’s side, his hands in his pockets, looking down. A lock of hair fell over his forehead. I balled my hands in my lap to keep from smoothing it back in place when he got in the car.
He slid inside, and my nose was immediately assailed with his scent. I breathed him in, musky and a little woodsy. Mixed with the smell of his leather jacket, it made my head swim. I turned my face from him and inhaled the crisp, frigid air seeping in through the window.
“You’re cold,” he said, mistaking the shiver that ran through my body as having to do with the temperature.
He started the car and angled the heat vents toward me. Picking my hands up, he rubbed them between his. I nearly groaned out loud.
What is wrong with me?
I kept trying to picture Chay’s face, hear his voice, smell his scent. Taste his kiss. But being so close to Xavier was clouding my head. Any other time, Xavier would definitely be someone I would’ve been attracted to, would’ve loved receiving attention from. But I had Chay. And I loved him. I didn’t want to be attracted to anyone else, much less Xavier.
The heater started blowing warm air. “Feel better?” he asked, smiling at me.
“Yeah, thanks.” I pulled my hands from his. He held on to them a second longer before he let them slip between his fingers. I waited for him to pull from the parking lot. Instead, he settled back in his seat.
“So… How’d you meet Chay?”
I looked at him with a raised brow. “I knew him from school, but we met through the group. Why?”
“Curious. How long have you two been… dating?”
I frowned. “It’ll be five months soon. Why are you so curious?”
“I want to know more about you.” He shrugged a shoulder.
My heart did this little fluttery thing that was generally reserved only for Chay. I didn’t like that it reacted the same way to Xavier.
“But you aren’t asking about me,” I pointed out. “You’re asking about my boyfriend. Why?”
“Is that what you are? Just boyfriend and girlfriend?” He looked at the ring I wore. Absently, I fingered it, twirling it around with my thumb.
“Yes, that’s what we are.” I bit my lower lip.
Why didn’t I say we were more than that?
“Not even five months, huh? Seems like it’s kind of soon to be wearing his ring.”
I didn’t see the need to answer. It wasn’t any of his business.
“What do you know about him, really?” Xavier asked.
“What difference does it make to you?” I snapped.
He smiled, unfazed. “I’m here to protect you, remember? I’m just trying to do the job I came here to do.”
“That’s why you’re here? To protect me?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“That’s the only reason? It’s completely selfless?”
His gaze held mine. “That’s my job.”
“You didn’t really answer my question, Xavier.”
“No, that’s not the only reason I’m here. And, no, it’s not completely altruistic on my part. But that doesn’t change the fact that I need to learn about the people in your life, make sure they’re safe. Someone is trying to kill you, remember?”
My hand moved involuntarily to my side. “Yeah. I remember. But it’s not Chay.”
Xavier shrugged a shoulder. “And Jeff? Did you think he was trying to kill you?”
“That’s not… the same thing.”
He drummed his thumb on the steering wheel. “Okay, let’s assume Chay’s a good guy.”
“He is. There’s no need for assumption.”
“But is he good enough?” Xavier asked.
I sighed. “Good enough for what?”
“For you.” He threaded a lock of my hair between his fingers before pushing it gently behind my ear.
I bit my lip. His eyes followed the motion. He trailed his hand around my jaw to my mouth, caressing my lower lip with his thumb, pulling it from my teeth. I shivered in response.
“That wasn’t because you’re cold,” he murmured.
His gaze found mine. I stared into the liquid blue pools, knowing I should look away, but I was mesmerized by their beauty, by him. He cupped the side of my face with one hand and leaned forward. His lips came so close to mine I could smell his minty breath, feel it fan across my skin. My tongue darted out and wet my parted lips. He hesitated—maybe he was giving me time to pull away, maybe he was deciding if it was what he wanted. It didn’t matter. That split second hesitation was all I needed to bring me back to reality. I turned my face from him.
“Damn,” he ground out.
I reached to open the door. “I should go back inside. Muriel and Drew will wonder where I went.”
“I already told them I’d bring you home, Milayna.”
“Oh.” I looked out the side window when a thought occurred to me. “Are you?” I asked, not looking at him.
“Am I what?”
“Good enough for me?”
He blew out a breath. “No. And neither is he.”
***