“Things like this are going to happen. Sometimes, the visions fail us.” My dad reached out and patted me on the knee.
“Then why have them?” My words were muffled against my mother’s shoulder. “Why did I have the vision if there was nothing I could do to stop it?”
No one answered me.
“I want to get rid of it.” I heard my dad’s quick intake of breath and felt my mother tense. “How do I get rid of this… whatever it is? Power? Sixth sense? I want it gone.”
I was done. I’d tried it. I’d given being a demi-angel a chance. The visions controlled my life, and I let them, doing what they told me to. But it was obvious I wasn’t cut out for the demi-angel gig. First, the girl at school, and now, the woman at the Waterway. I’d failed them both. And one died because of it. Because of me. No. I wasn’t going to do it anymore. I didn’t want the job in the first place. There had to be someone else I could give it to. Someone who’d do it better.
“Milayna—”
“Dad, there’s gotta be a way. I can’t watch something like last night again. Knowing I could have stopped it if I had only been quicker. Gotten to her faster. Knowing that it’s my fault.” I started crying again.
“It’s not your fault, Milayna. You did what you could. You did everything right,” my dad said calmly.
“I didn’t do enough!” I yelled and balled my fists.
My mom pushed me gently away from her and looked into my eyes. “Stop it,” she chided softly. “This isn’t your fault.”
“But if I—”
“You had no chance of saving that woman.” My dad leaned forward on the couch and let his hands drop between his knees.
“But I was right there. I was almost to her. If I’d gotten there sooner, she’d still be alive. I failed her, and she died because of it. I’m not cut out for this demi-angel shit. I’m supposed to help people, not kill them!” My voice rose on the last few words until I was almost screaming. Hot tears seared my skin as they ran down my face.
Why can’t they see what’s in front of them? I’m a failure. Just let it go. Accept it and move on. Oh. I get it. I’m an embarrassment to my dad. That’s it. A failure and an embarrassment.
He sighed. “No, she wouldn’t. This vision was intended to teach you a lesson.”
When my dad’s words finally registered, I raised my head and looked at him. “What do you mean?” I asked slowly. A small burning began deep in my stomach.
“Azazel did this, Milayna. If you’d gotten to the woman, he would’ve used someone else. He knew you’d have a vision if he put someone in danger. He used it to show you he can get to people—strangers, friends, family. He’s trying to scare you into giving in to him.”
I shook my head and held my hand up in front of me. “He killed her for no reason? Just to prove a point?” The burning grew. My stomach was consumed in fire. I could feel the flames licking at my lungs, stealing my breath. My head emptied of all thought but that of Azazel and the evil he brought down on innocent people.
My dad nodded. His lips were mashed so hard into a thin line that they were white.
“You’re sure there’s no other way to get rid of this? I can’t transfer it to another group member? Give it to them?”
My dad shook his head. “No. It’s yours alone.”
I nodded my head. “Right. Okay.” The images of all the visions I’d had ran through my memory. With each one, my muscles tensed until they were so taut it felt like they’d snap. My teeth clenched until my jaw ached. Still I watched the visions replay in front of me. The little girl who’d have been violated by the pervert in the park. The woman on the street who’d have been attacked by the serial rapist… on and on until it ended with the night before at the Waterway.
No! He can’t do that! Someone has to try and stop the demon bastard. If I can’t get rid of this demi-angel shit, then…
“I’m not giving it to him. There’s no way he’s going to be allowed to do things like this without paying. He may have thought this would break me, but he’s just made one helluva enemy. I’m gonna fight him until I take my last breath. That’s what I was born to do.”
I was tired of being scared. Of worrying when I’d see another demon. When Azazel would show his face. He used that innocent woman’s death as a way to break me. I sat on my favorite purple couch and knew…
He’d just made me stronger.
Two weeks until my birthday.
I’m drowning.
My lungs burn from lack of oxygen. I try to hold my breath, but the need to fill my lungs causes me to open my mouth and inhale. Water fills my lungs, my head pounds, and my chest burns. My body tries to rid itself of the offending water. I cough and suck in more.
I’m dying.
I start to convulse. My body jerks and shakes. I’m writhing in pain. And through it all, I hear a voice. Not my mother’s voice telling me she loves me. Not my fathers or my grams’. Not Chay’s.
“This could have been avoided, Milayna, if you’d only sided with me,” it says.