“Ask me why I want you, Adam,” I say, and he stares down at me with so much love in his eyes that I almost tell him right then.
“Why do you want me?” he asks, and a thousand reasons come to mind. I want him because of his eyes and his smile and his laugh and his heart. I want him because of his dreams and his goals and his sense of humor and his light. I want him because he made me promises even though he never makes promises, because of the way he looks at me like he looks at no one else. I want him because of the way I feel when I’m with him and the way I feel when I’m not. But all of those are really just one reason waiting to be said, and I’m not afraid to say it anymore, because I know he wants to hear it.
With Adam in my arms and in my heart, I finally say the words I’m no longer afraid to admit to him or myself or anyone.
“Because I love you.”
Epilogue: Adam
WHEN MY ALARM goes off that morning, two months after making things official with Peach, I ignore it, wrapping my arms tight around her so that she’s snug inside the curve of my body. I bury my face in her long blonde hair and breathe in her strawberry shampoo, hoping that if I just ignore the alarm, she will too.
“Adam,” she groans, her voice heavy with sleep.
I hug her tighter and squeeze my face into the space between her neck and pillow. The alarm keeps screaming.
“Adammm.”
When I continue ignoring her, a smirk already sneaking onto my face because I know what’s coming next, Peach grunts and starts rolling over. She rolls me onto my back as she reaches across me for the alarm. She can’t reach it—she never can, because I’m a brilliant strategist encouraged by positive reinforcement—so she crawls over top of me to hit the OFF button, and then she collapses on my chest, her face smothered in my pillow.
Seeing my opportunity, I brush her hair away from her neck and kiss her there—softly, knowing it drives her crazy. I’m rewarded with an involuntary squirm that makes me harden between us, and my fingers dip beneath her soft cotton top. I trace feather-light lines up her back until her skin goose bumps under my fingertips, loving how her body responds to me.
When her lips find mine, I’m the one who moans, which might embarrass the hell out of me if I wasn’t so busy concentrating on trying to keep my hands from literally tearing her thin top and adorable bunny shorts off her tiny little body. I don’t know how she does this to me, but she always does—makes me fucking crazy to be as close to her as possible. No one—no one—has ever made me feel so desperate. I’d probably hate it if I didn’t love her so damn much.
Three and a half seconds later, I’ve had more than I can take. I flip her over, and she lets me. I drop my lips to her neck, finding the spot that makes her moan even louder than I did, restoring some of my dignity. My fingers graze under her top, and her back arches when I trace my tongue across her collarbone, making her skin flush my favorite shade of pink. Her hands curl between my bare shoulder blades, scratching at my skin and threatening to steal what’s left of my self-control. If I don’t get inside her soon, I’m pretty sure those bunny shorts are done for.
“Adam,” she moans, and it completely does me in. My name on her lips, sounding like that . . . Yeah, I’m not a damn saint, and she knows that as well as anyone. Her bunny shorts are tossed on the floor a second later, and then I show her why that obnoxious alarm is the best fucking device mankind ever invented.
Afterward, she’s breathing deeply, sound asleep in my arms, and I’m remembering the first time I ever held her like this. That first time I held her in my arms as she drifted to sleep—the night I nearly broke my fist on her asshole ex-boyfriend’s face—I was fucking terrified. I held her to make her feel better, but once I had her in my arms, I couldn’t let go. All night, I had the opportunity to roll away from her—and I knew I should—but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Instead, I squeezed her tighter, scared shitless about the feelings I was having, and about fucking it up and losing her. I’m not sure if that’s the night I fell in love with her, but it’s the night I started realizing I’d do anything to keep her.
“SHIT!” Peach suddenly yells, jerking out of my arms and launching herself out of bed. “THE ALARM, ADAM!”
“Yeah?” I say, shifting until I’m sunken deep in the warm center of the mattress.
“I promised Dee I’d meet her at IHOP! Why didn’t you—”