‘What do you mean?’
Sodar pointed to the package of severed ears. ‘Your story about the wood-witch and the feurog. I’m worried, Annev. There’s something dangerous out there, and it’s hunting you.’ His expression was pained. ‘I know you’ve set your heart on being an avatar, and that you’ve finally earned your place at the Academy. You deserve to live the life you’ve fought for. But something’s not right. I think …’
Annev guessed the words before Sodar spoke them.
‘I think it would be wisest if we left the village.’
Chapter Forty-Five
Annev forced his hands to unclench from the seat.
‘Leave the village?’
Sodar nodded. ‘I’ve been preparing for it for years. As a matter of fact, I’d been planning for us to escape during our expedition to find the Oracle – particularly as I already know where it is.’ He smiled at Annev, then sighed when the boy sat dumb. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t tell you because I feared knowing we might leave one day would stop you pursuing your dreams. Boys need dreams. When you become an old man like me, you exchange them for hope, and then spend your hopes on others’ dreams.’
Annev was still shocked. ‘So … you never really wanted me to become an avatar?’ Sodar began to speak but Annev pressed on, forcing himself to be heard. ‘Whether I passed or failed didn’t matter. You were going to take me away no matter what.’
‘Annev, please.’
‘Admit it,’ Annev said, gaining momentum as he regained control of his voice. ‘Tell me the truth.’
‘This is the truth,’ Sodar said, his tone becoming implacable. ‘Everything you do in this life matters. Your training at the Academy mattered, not because you would become an avatar, but because it taught you valuable skills. Your training with me mattered. I didn’t send you to chop firewood so we had something to burn – I sent you to learn. To build your strength and develop your character. Do you think I taught you the histories so you could preach from the pulpit?’ Sodar shook his head. ‘It was so you would understand where you come from – why the world is the way it is, and why it’s vital that we leave.’
‘And go where?’ Annev interrupted. ‘Where is better than here? What’s waiting for us out there?’
‘A whole world you haven’t seen.’
That gave Annev pause. He really did want to see the world – it was one of his primary motivations for becoming an avatar – but he had always thought he would come back to Chaenbalu. He’d always thought there would be a home and a hearth waiting for him, that he’d have Myjun and his friends. But Sodar didn’t seem to be suggesting any of that. Annev might as well have joined Crag as a travelling companion.
‘You know I want to travel,’ Annev said slowly, sifting through his feelings, ‘but not at the cost of my life here. When I take that sack of goods back to the Academy, Tosan will make me an avatar. I’ll have my brown robes. I can court Myjun.’ He paused, wondering if Sodar understood how important that was to him. ‘Why must we leave? You said yourself that the village is protected.’
‘The magic that protects Chaenbalu remains strong,’ Sodar said. ‘Thus far, nothing has broken that circle of protection.’
Annev nodded, thinking he might yet convince the priest to stay. ‘Exactly. The witch, Kelga, said someone else couldn’t break the circle of protection – someone who was hunting me. If we left Chaenbalu, they could find us.’
‘True,’ Sodar said, surprising Annev with his agreeableness, ‘but you said you want to become an avatar. The moment you step outside this village on one of those Odar-bedamned retrieval missions, you’ll expose yourself to countless dangers. Ones you don’t understand.’
‘So help me understand! All these years, you say you’ve been preparing me, but you won’t say what for. If you know what’s out there, tell me!’
‘I just … I wanted to spare you this for as long as possible,’ Sodar admitted. ‘A child shouldn’t have to worry about adult matters.’
‘I’m not a child any more.’ Annev thumped the packet of severed ears in front of Sodar. ‘You and the masters have taught me well. If I have to leave the village, I can take care of myself.’ He held up a hand, forestalling Sodar’s objections. ‘And now I know to come straight back. If things like this are out there, we should stay – where it’s safe.’
Sodar sighed. ‘I wish it were that simple, Annev. You were safe because you were hidden. The wards protecting the village held because they were never tested. That’s changed. With a concerted effort and a little patience, Chaenbalu’s defences will fall.’
‘They won’t,’ Annev said, unwilling to believe it. ‘Arnor said your Order was being hunted – priests being killed. If we leave the village, we’re at risk, but they can’t find us here.’
‘That’s a very slim chance,’ Sodar said. ‘And the longer we stay, the slimmer it becomes.’
‘In that case,’ Annev said, changing tactics, ‘let’s say we agree to leave. We don’t have to go right away. We can wait a few years while I get my title and continue my training. The Academy only sends avatars on missions if they’re about to promote them to Master status. It will be years before they ask me to leave the village. We can use that time to prepare – you can keep stalling Tosan with your Speur Dún manuscript, and when we’re ready we can form up the expedition and sneak away like you planned.’
Sodar grunted. ‘Perhaps.’
‘And maybe …’ Annev said, daring to hope. ‘If the timing is right, maybe Myjun could come with us.’
Sodar gave a pained smile at the suggestion. ‘Myjun is a wonderful girl … but she’s Tosan’s daughter. If we disappeared, the ancients would be happy to see me go, and they would only search for you for so long. But Tosan would use the full strength of the Academy to hunt Myjun down. He would never relent, never let us go. Instead of starting a new life in Odarnea or Southmarch, we would always be running, and if he ever caught us unawares …’ He shook his head. ‘I’m sorry, Annev. Even if Myjun agreed, it would still be too dangerous – and we have enough dangers to worry about.’
Annev frowned, frustrated by his limited options. He didn’t want to consider a life without Myjun, without being an avatar … so he wouldn’t. He brooded over the other things Sodar had said. ‘The Oracle is in Odarnea. What’s in Southmarch?’
‘The Oracle is not in Odarnea. It’s with Bron Gloir, and the Gods alone know where he is – or who he is right now.’ He chuckled. ‘No, the enclave of the Dionachs Tobar is in Odarnea, though I’ve not yet decided where we’d go. You heard correctly: something has been stalking my Order, and until I learn what, perhaps we should stay away. That’s why I suggested Southmarch, though even that may not be far enough. We could run all the way to the sunken Isles of Ilumea and still not escape.’