Of course they shouldn’t. She’d just seen evidence of what the Angelic language could do to a human mind. “Right. Because it’s evil in human bodies, and it screws people up. Blodrial is right.”
“He’s against it because the gift of magic to human kind was the original sin that banished our gods from heaven. The gods are all trying to free themselves from their punishment.”
She’d never heard this version before. “And what is their punishment?”
“The celestial gods—those who won the war, trapped them in matter. The shadow and fire gods are trying to gain freedom by collecting human souls, competing with each other. But Blodrial thinks he can repent by stamping out magic on earth. Erasing the original sin. None of them can accept their punishment, and we all lost something. Even humans.”
“What did we lose?” She was grateful for the temporary reprieve from thinking about the flames.
“Ignorance. Knowledge comes with a price. When humans learned to speak the Angelic language, they also learned about something else—their own mortality. Pedestrians have a story about a snake and a fruit tree that covers that concept.”
“Don’t eat from the tree of knowledge, or you’ll die.”
“Exactly.”
She rubbed her throbbing temples. This was all too much for her now. She didn’t want to think about her own death, not after she’d felt so close to it just moments ago. “Okay. So you have no idea why I felt like I was on fire?”
“No idea. It never happened to me. I had a whole lot of rage and bloodlust, but no flames. Still, as long as you stay near me while you learn to control the aura, I can help. You said it didn’t hurt when you were near me.”
He still wasn’t telling her the whole story. “Why are you and Ambrose so invested in my power?”
“Unlike the Brotherhood, we want you alive. Isn’t that enough information for you?”
“No. It isn’t. And I don’t get it. How are you able to stay sane with two souls?”
“I had to accept the mage, and then bend him to my own will. I had to become stronger than him. Now I use his knowledge and power, but he doesn’t control me.”
Shuddering, she thought of her blackening skin. “If I don’t wear the ring, she’ll consume me from the inside out. I won’t be me anymore.”
“I won’t let that happen.”
She wanted to see Tammi and Josiah, and walk the halls of Thorndike University. She didn’t want to live in a world where people casually tossed human hands onto the floor, and she definitely didn’t want to live with a violent lunatic invading her brain, forcing her to do things against her will.
How could my own parents have done this to me? Magic had obviously twisted their minds into insanity. “I don’t want to be a mage. I don’t want to be like you. I need to at least try to get my old life back.”
“The Brotherhood will not give you your life back.”
“Josiah will help me. He’s my Guardian.”
“That’s absurd. No one in the Brotherhood is trustworthy.”
“I’m in the Brotherhood. And anyway, am I supposed to believe you’re trustworthy? You still won’t tell me what Ambrose wants me for.”
Josiah simply had to help her. Even if she couldn’t rejoin the Brotherhood, she needed to claw some kind of normal life back.
His voice grew cold. “Your Guardian obviously hasn’t guarded you very well so far, but it’s your own life if you want to throw it away. I hope the burning you endure at the hands of the Brotherhood is somehow less painful than the illusion of burning that so terrifies you. Though it’s highly improbable.”
He turned, striding down the overgrown slope, and she followed, trying to maintain her balance on the slippery rocks. At the bottom of the hill, Caine paused to look at a small, flowering shrub.
His hand hovered over a cluster of white flowers before he plucked them from the plant. Wordlessly, he handed them to Rosalind, then stalked into the parking lot.
She twirled the delicate stem in her fingers. Hawthorn blossoms.
Chapter 16
After they returned to the waterfront, Caine parked his bike under an oak. He climbed off, and Rosalind followed him across a patch of grass by Salem Harbor. The briny wind kissed her face, skimming over her tattered dress.
She had no idea what they were doing now. It wasn’t like he’d filled her in or anything. But she had a bad feeling he might change his mind about his promise to help her exorcise the spirit. He seemed to think she was making a terrible mistake, but he wasn’t the one who had to feel the flames when the ring came off.