Then one little sister had come, and another, and then Lily… and they had been everything I could have hoped for. It probably helped that their mom didn’t have a nurturing bone in her body, but they had been my little people. They had given me their love, and I had taken it all.
I had done my best to make sure at least my sisters had a tiny little something on Christmas Day from money I stole from whoever was dumb enough to leave their purse or wallet lying around. A hairbrush from the dollar store. Some barrettes. Maybe it wasn’t anything flashy, but it was something, and none of them had ever complained.
That’s why I was going to go to San Antonio. So they wouldn’t. So even Grandma Genie wouldn’t be alone with people she hadn’t been able to stand either while she’d been alive.
My best friend wrote me back immediately, saving me from going down that path of useless wishes that were never going to come true.
Lenny: I have another arm, bish, and two good legs.
Lenny: I know at least 3 guys at the gym that would pretend to be your bodyguard if you just fed them.
That solidified plan B, even if I hated asking for favors almost as much as I hated relying on people.
My only consolation with Rip was that he owed me in the first place. At least he thought he owed me. It also helped that I couldn’t think of a single person, a big MMA fighter or not, who was as scary or intimidating as Lucas Ripley was. That was the truth.
The fact that I didn’t mind looking at him, and that I enjoyed him when he wasn’t grumbling at me, was only a tiny factor. Tiny, tiny.
Only idiots liked men who they had no chance with.
But this was my curse—to love and care for people who didn’t love or care for me back. At least not the way I wanted them to.
With Rip, I’d accepted what our relationship was from the beginning.
Out of all the men in the world that my heart could go whoosh, whoosh, whoosh over from time to time when I didn’t have it reined in, out of all of the men who could have the ability to make me master looking out of the corner of my eye, it had to be one of my bosses who had that effect on me.
Of course it had to be.
My not-so-very nice boss.
Because it was my curse.
I was so dumb.
Holding my phone on my lap, I glanced up, even though a giant part of me didn’t want to, but all I saw was the same thing I’d seen moments before. A man, who I knew was six foot four, wedged onto a tall stool. A man with deep brown hair with a hint of silvery gray threaded through it. A man with a face that was usually set into an aggravated expression or an angry one… except when there was good news that was work-related. Well over two hundred pounds poured over a frame that was all solid. Huge thighs, big butt, forearms the size of my biceps if not bigger, a chest that could double as a bed for a medium-sized dog….
Buck up, Luna, just ask him, my conscience told me. He owes you. He owes you big time. Sort of.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried to tell my dumb heart to calm down. I tried to tell my eyes to go somewhere else. Anywhere else. Anyone else.
But the heart wants what it wants. And it’s scared of what it wants to be scared of, no matter how reasonable you try to be about it.
Like a fearless but total moron.
The vibrating from my lap had me glancing down at the screen to see the last message that had come through.
Lenny: Don’t go to the funeral if you don’t want to. Your grandma would understand.
That icky, thick feeling flooded my stomach again, covering over the frustration I felt with myself for being attracted to Rip in the first place. But if there was something that could make me forget about that, it was the guilt I felt for walking out of my grandmother’s life so many years ago and never seeing her again.
We had both known it was the only way things could be between us, but it still didn’t help me feel any better.
Me: I have to, even though I would rather get stuck behind someone driving ten miles under the speed limit for an hour. You know what she did for us. It’s the least I can do.
That much, Lenny did know. She and her family had been there for me when I had taken my siblings. She knew almost as much as I let anyone know, minus the Coopers. It wasn’t everything. No one knew about all the little pieces, but it was a lot.
Two seconds went by before I got a response.
Lenny: The offer stands, bish.
Lenny: You’re the best person I know, fyi.
I smiled down at my phone.
Me: I love you too
Lenny: [eye rolling emoji]
Lenny: I was texting you because Grandpa G is making margaritas and he was asking where you were.
Me: Tell him I love him.
Lenny: I will. You find Rip?
Me: I’m watching him.
Lenny: Stalker
Me: He’s standing in front of me, I can’t help it.
Lenny: Pretty sure that’s what every stalker thinks.
I chanced another glance at the man and held back a sigh.
Me: Sometimes I don’t understand why him.
Lenny: Because he looks like he’s been in jail and that’s about as far away from what every jackass you’ve ever dated looks like?
Lenny: Grandpa G says he loves you too and to come over and bring the girl with you if she’s around. I didn’t tell him you’re at the bar, otherwise he’d want to invite himself. You know how that man gets in public.
I almost laughed at the first comment and definitely laughed at the second one. Rip did look like he’d done time. That was unfair, but it was the truth.
For all I knew, he probably had.
Then again, I was probably judging him by a face he had no say in. For all I knew, he had a marshmallow heart and rescued and rehabilitated small animals when he wasn’t at work. Deep down, he might have a caring and loving disposition that he only shared around very few people—people who had won his trust.
You never knew.
The idea of that put a small smile on my face and kept it there as I typed a message back, leaving the first comment alone.
Me: I don’t know how much longer I’ll be here, but if I leave soon, I’ll drop by. Tell Grandpa G that the girl is working tonight. You’re all coming for the graduation, right?
Lenny: Yes. I’m legit ready to cry this Saturday.
Lenny: I’ve got the blow horn ready by the way. TOOT TOOT, bish.
She wasn’t the only one preparing herself to cry this weekend, and that made me happy for some reason.
I was still smiling over Lenny’s text when Rip turned from where he was at the bar, holding a glass with some dark liquid inside, and instantly locked his gaze on me.
I didn’t hesitate smiling wider before setting my phone back on the table, even as my heart started thumping at the fact that I was about to ask him for something.
I didn’t want to. I had never wanted to. I had planned on never asking him for anything.
But…
Well…
I would ask him for this.
I had to. For my sisters. For me, because I really was nervous going alone back to the place I’d grown up.
Almost like he could sense what was going on inside of me, his eyes narrowed just a little, just barely enough for me to be able to tell that he had. And because of that, I made my smile go as big as possible, even flashing him teeth. He already had a feeling that something was going on. There was no hiding it, unfortunately. I was a decent liar until people got to know me.
Rip stood there for a second watching me with those heavy, dark brown eyebrows low over his blue-green eyes. By the time another second had passed, he had taken a step forward. Then another foot went ahead. And another.
He was coming toward me in his tight long-sleeved green shirt, showing off more tattoos on his neck than I had ever, ever seen in the years we had known each other. There was a skull—an actual skull—tattooed over his Adam’s apple with lines and shapes spread out along the sides of it. And I was thinking to myself that I wanted to change my freaking mind about the favor… but I couldn’t.
I wouldn’t.