“No … Why are you becoming so angry?”
Lucky took a deep breath. “I’m not angry. We’ll come back to that question later.”
“I think that would be a good idea.”
His eyes narrowed at her self-righteous expression.
“What are your expectations of me as your husband?”
Willa gave him a reassuring smile. This one was easy. “I expect you to be faithful, make me happy, and to be a good provider, and faithful.” Willa stressed the last one.
“You mentioned the last one twice.”
“I did?”
“Yes.”
“It’s important to me.”
“I can see that. Can I ask you a question?”
“Go ahead,” Willa said apprehensively.
“Do you believe that I love you?”
Willa didn’t immediately answer.
“Willa?”
“I believe that you love me.”
“If you really believe that, then you will trust that I will be faithful.”
Willa’s hands began to twist tighter. “It’s not that I don’t believe you love me. I do, but…”
“What?”
“What if I don’t make you happy? There’s a difference between us—”
“Thank God for that.”
Willa didn’t take that as a compliment. “I meant you’re more experienced than I am. You’ve been with several”—she looked at him askance, but the man was smart enough to remain quiet—“while I haven’t been with anyone. I will only have you, while you’ll be able to compare me to...” Willa cleared her throat. “Do you have a number?”
“No, I don’t have a number. I didn’t keep track.”
She frowned, unsure if that was a good or a bad thing. “Are your fingers crossed?”
Lucky raised his hands, wiggling his fingers. “When you’re in my bed, I can promise I won’t be comparing you to anyone,” he said gently.
“But how can you help it? I compare cupcakes. I compared vans before I bought one…” Her voice trailed off. “What if I’m not any good? What if you don’t enjoy sex with me?”
Lucky was staring at her indulgently while she expressed her fears. Willa had seen the women he had slept with, though. They were freaking gorgeous.
“What if I don’t enjoy sex with you?”
Lucky’s smile slipped.
“Maybe all those women didn’t want to hurt your feelings.” Willa smiled smugly, seeing he hadn’t liked that sentence.
“There’s one way to find out.”
“That’s o—”
“I could fuck you, and you could give me your opinion.”
Lucky hid his smile at Willa’s shocked expression. He had been courting Willa, trying to be respectful of her upbringing in the church and her beliefs. He wanted her to have a courtship she would look back on without regrets or guilt. However, he had failed to take into consideration her lack of self-confidence. As a result, he might have gone too far and given her the misguided belief that he wasn’t attracted to her or didn’t feel the same desire for her that he had for other women. Truthfully, he didn’t; what he felt for her was so much more.
He had never been more conscious of his body’s needs and wants as when he was with Willa. He had even been reduced to mentally quoting scripture when he was tempted to lean her backward on the couch and make love to her instead of watching television. Other times, he had wanted to pin her against the door as he was about to leave and fuck her until she would remember what it felt like to have him in her until he returned.
There wasn’t a day that he didn’t want to return to The Last Riders, yet all he had to do was be in her presence, and it would pass until the next day. Even the fear of Bridge hurting her wouldn’t change his mind. The accident had shown life could end in an instant, that Willa could get killed at any moment without any effort from Bridge. And, after she was gone, would it hurt any less? No. All he would have was the regret of not being with her when he’d had the chance. Therefore, it was the only decision he could make because he couldn’t live without Willa.
It would serve no purpose to try to talk to Bridge again. It would only reinforce in Bridge’s mind how much Willa meant to Lucky and make her an even bigger target. He was simply going to place his faith in God as he had when he had seen Ria reach Willa before he could, believing she would be kept protected by God’s love and by the precautions he had taken. He was going to roll the dice and pray his luck held out.