And so, he found himself heading toward Lover’s Point, a plateau with a great view of the city. By day it was visited by hikers along a five mile trail. By night it served as the premier make out spot.
He had no plans to make out with her. Even though she’d never been more beautiful, more desirable to him, she also seemed somehow untouchable. Ephemeral in the moonlight coming through the window, her skin pale and eyes fathomless.
Plus he couldn’t trust himself to be gentle right now.
Not with his rage so close to the surface. Still, it would be a quiet place they could sit and talk. If Erin would even talk to him.
The car bumped along the dirt path—well traveled by high schoolers, including himself, but still plenty uneven after every rain. All the cars, all the years, couldn’t smooth out a land this ancient. When he reached the grassy clearing, he stopped the car.
The city stretched out in front of them, a blanket of lights to a city already abed.
“It’s beautiful,” Erin said, her voice soft.
He couldn’t even look directly at her, because she made his chest tight and his face tight and his body tight. All he could do was look out at the city. “Yes.”
“Thank you for bringing me here.”
She was thanking him? No, he needed to be on his fucking knees, thanking her for being with him, for staying with him, thanking her for fucking existing—because she was his light. Not a single one in that city shone for him. Only the woman sitting next to him lit up a damn thing.
“Baby,” he said hoarsely. “We need to talk about what happened.”
“Do we?” She sounded confused, almost lost.
“We do, because you need to know that it was not okay, that I don’t support what happened in any way, that I wish to hell I’d gotten back to you a few minutes sooner so I could have put a stop to it myself.”
“I know.”
“I would never allow her to disrespect you in my presence, and I’m sick over the fact that I did allow it, by not realizing it would happen, by not being there for you.”
She put her hand on his. “Blake, I know.”
He pulled himself together enough to realize she’d had to repeat herself. He turned his hand over to hold hers. “How can you be okay with this?”
“I’m not okay with what happened. But it wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have predicted she’d act like that. And once you realized, you got me out of there.”
He studied her arm, looking for any signs of bruising. It was too shadowy in the car to see. “Where did she hurt you?” When she seemed reluctant to answer, he added, “I need to know.”
“She grabbed my wrist, that’s all.”
“That’s all? That’s a big fucking deal.”
“I didn’t mean to… okay, yeah, I meant to downplay it. I just meant I’m fine. It will be tender for a little while. No medical intervention required.”
He still didn’t like how casual she was being about being manhandled, but he recognized she wanted to drop the subject. And short of taking her to an emergency room, which would be more traumatic for her, there wasn’t anything else he could do.
He ran a hand through his hair. “I suppose she told you about my father. And your mother.”
That got her attention. Her eyes widened, two dark ponds in the night. “What about them?”
“According to my father, they had an affair. A consensual affair. He claims to have cared about her. But when my mother found out, things got ugly, as he put it. I guess we saw a taste of that today.”
“God,” she breathed. “All these years, I never knew.”
“My father has done some brave things in his lifetime. Even though I didn’t get along with him, I looked up to him, knowing what he’d accomplished. But in that moment, he was a coward. He didn’t stand up for the woman he supposedly cared for, didn’t protect and defend her.”
She squeezed his hand gently until he met her eyes again. “You’re not him,” she said softly. “You did defend me. You always protect me.”
He let out a breath. “Jesus, Erin. I want that to be true.”
“It is true. You’re strong and capable and incredibly intelligent. And you use all of that, the entire force of you, to make my life better. Sometimes I don’t feel… deserving.”
Suspicion formed in his gut. “If she wasn’t telling you about my father, what was she saying?”
Erin looked away. “Just some stuff about relationships,” she mumbled.
“Erin,” he said, putting steel into his words. He knew this was uncomfortable for her, but he needed to know what had been said. Especially since it made Erin like this, curled up and somehow ashamed.
Instead of answering, Erin opened the car door and stepped outside. She might have murmured something like “need some air” but she didn’t pause to make sure he’d heard. The car door slammed shut, and he was quick to follow her into the night.