“Unbelievably good. I didn’t know anything could feel that good.” She squirmed in her seat as the memory of him inside her flashed through her mind. Hard and hot, and his mouth tugging at her nipples and… She bent down and rested her forehead against the table. Finally, she straightened. “Is that normal?”
“Don’t look at me,” Dani said. “I wouldn’t know—I took a vow of celibacy when I joined up.”
“Or me,” Jess added. “It’s been a long, long time. My only relationship recently has been with my vibrator. But don’t be so worried. Having sex with Jake isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”
“Jake’s my friend. I don’t want to lose him.”
“Perhaps you won’t. You can get married, live happily ever after—”
She threw her hands in the air. “Ugh! That’s even worse. I’ll never marry again. I’ll never—and I mean never—let anyone get close enough to control me. And you know what a control freak Jake is. No, my only hope is to pretend this never happened.”
Right up until he’d said the dreaded M-word, she’d thought that perhaps she could have the sex and the friendship. Now, she knew deep down she couldn’t have both, that she would have to choose. So they would be friends, old cronies together.
But what if Jake married someone else?
She could maybe live with the lovers who came and went from his life. But what if he finally committed to one woman? She’d believed he’d never marry, but what if he forgot to use a condom again? And got some woman pregnant? Not her, because she wasn’t. No way. Couldn’t be. But some other woman. She’d hardly want Kim in her home on a Thursday night to watch movies with her husband.
Everything was falling apart.
“How will Jake feel about going back to being just friends?” Jess asked.
“Why would he care? He has women falling over him. What’s one more?”
Jess shook her head. “He does care.”
How had things become so complicated? All she’d wanted was a little fun sex. Instead, she’d gotten a goddamn marriage proposal.
“Really across his desk?” Jess couldn’t seem to get her head around that bit. How surprising. She grinned. “What if it had been the day for the window cleaners?”
“Piss off.”
…
Kim woke the next morning with a headache and a sense of foreboding. Somewhere way above her head, Jake would be in his penthouse. Probably not still in bed—he was a disgustingly early riser. Being married to him would probably be a nightmare.
Though no doubt, she’d be getting up to see to the baby anyway.
Shut up.
She wasn’t pregnant.
She hadn’t had the courage to air that particular problem with Jessica or the fact that Jake had suggested they get married. He’d obviously felt guilty about forgetting the condom.
So from now on, she’d give up the idea of sex with Jake, which had never been a viable option, just a momentary aberration best forgotten.
Obviously, Steve was also out. But how about that activist from the party, Nick Winters, who’d called her at the office? He seemed nice…well, maybe nice wasn’t the right word. More like dangerous in a sexy sort of way, but she could see herself going out with him.
No, she’d find an alternative for sex—or maybe buy herself a vibrator—and she and Jake could go back to being friends. His friendship was worth far more than a few mind-blowing orgasms.
She never understood why Jake had befriended her five years ago. He’d come into her life at a time when she’d desperately needed a friend. Nineteen years old, only six months into her marriage, and already she’d known that she’d made the biggest mistake of her life. The smooth charmer she’d married had metamorphosed overnight into a control freak with a drinking habit, a vicious temper, and absolutely no interest in her whatsoever.
She’d been confused and scared. Terrified of what she was turning into. There was a dark place inside her. Present since her mother’s death, it had lain dormant waiting for something to trigger it into life. Now it was awake, and she’d battled with despair every day. Was that how her mother had felt?
But she’d also been angry. At herself mainly, partly for being so naive and unaware of Michael’s real nature, but even more so by her inability to stand up for herself after he revealed his true colors. She’d known she should pack her bags and leave him, but she didn’t know where to go. She had no friends in London, and she was convinced her father wouldn’t welcome her back. He might love her, but he also wanted to control her and they hadn’t parted on the best of terms.
She’d felt totally isolated until Jake had appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. He’d taken her under his protective wing, made her feel safe, driven back the darkness, and given her a place to flee when she needed to get away from her husband. Jake had never judged her and had given her the strength and confidence to end her farce of a marriage. Afterward, he had done just about everything for her, found her somewhere to live, even given her a job, a whole new life.