“That would be the one. I just had the most interesting conversation with him while he was duct-taped to his car. Nice use of a box cutter, I might add.” D.D. glanced at Roxy, who flushed. I could already picture exactly where Roxanna had placed the blade. Once again, provide the tips and they will use them.
“According to de Vries, he spotted some of the images Roberto took of his victims at Mother Del’s. They organized a business where Roberto provided the inventory, while de Vries served as distribution. Roberto actually pissed off de Vries when he posted Roxy’s picture on the internet, calling unnecessary attention to their operations. De Vries was still trying to figure out what to do when you took care of the problem for him by killing off Roberto. You might have eliminated Roberto, Mike, but de Vries still has all the images. De Vries is the real problem.”
Mike finally looked at the detective. “Bright, bright, bright,” he said. “Brightest light I’d ever seen. You still don’t understand.”
Then, suddenly, I did. And I think Roxy must’ve, too, because her free hand flew up, covering her mouth right before tears flooded her eyes.
“You killed Roberto to eliminate the threat to Roxy and Lola”—I spoke up—“because you could see what it was doing to Lola. To Roxy. But even after Roberto’s death, Lola didn’t settle, did she, Mike? She was still angry, out of control, and taking everything out on Roxy. It was only a matter of time before she did something really stupid. Something Roxy couldn’t fix. Something that would hurt Roxy even more.”
“You loved her,” Mike said to Roxy, his voice sad. “But she didn’t love you back.”
“I tried to tell her to let it go,” Roxy said. “I tried to get her to see that when Roberto died, it was over.”
“You bitch!” Anya again.
“I wanted her to give up the gang. But she said she couldn’t. They made her strong, she didn’t want to be weak.”
“She would’ve gotten you to join.”
“No! Never, Mike—”
“You would’ve joined to save her. Roxy saves Lola. Always, Roxy saves Lola. And Lola—”
Roxy was crying harder now. I could tell she already knew what he would say next. In the meantime, I took advantage of Mike’s distraction to shift forward.
Mike, speaking quietly: “Lola never loved you. Not the way I loved you. She took. She did not give. She took, took, took.”
“No! She was lost. She just needed a chance—”
“You can’t repair what doesn’t want to be fixed.” Mike rocked up on the balls of his feet, his agitation returning.
“Lola seduced Doug de Vries,” D.D. supplied now. She’d worked her way to the front of the stage area, standing merely twenty feet away, an easy shot in terms of distance. Except there were too many of us clustered together. I blocked Mike from shooting Anya, but also D.D. from shooting Mike. Though it still felt good to have a detective at my back, especially with Anya now staggering to her feet.
“Then Lola sent pictures of the affair to Anya and Doug,” D.D. continued. “She wanted to hurt you, Anya. Not to mention destroy Doug with evidence of him sleeping with an underage girl.”
“Lola wasn’t going to stop,” Mike said. “I heard her talk: She felt on fire. She wanted the whole world to burn. She hated everyone—”
“She hated herself!” Roxy blurted out.
Mike looked at her. “She hated everyone. Even you. Especially you. Because Roxy saves Lola. But you didn’t. You didn’t.”
Roxy, crying harder now. “What did you do, Mike? Tell me. What did you do?”
Silence. Absolute silence. Which said enough.
“He killed your fucking family!” Anya snarled, clutching her shoulder. “I knew it. I told Roberto there was something wrong with you. You fucking homicidal idiot!”
I couldn’t help it. I swung around and slapped Anya across the face. My shoulder flared to angry life. It was still worth it to watch her collapse in stunned silence.
“You did this!” I snapped at her. “You and Roberto and your reign of terror. You tortured little kids. Then they grew up and decided to fight back!”
“Manny . . .” Roxy was murmuring, her voice thick. “My mom. Lola. Charlie . . . Mike, how could you?”
“Bright, bright light,” he said. “You got away. You came back. And there’s no brightness anymore. You love them. You give, give, give. All that brightness away. To a mom, one bad day from returning to the bottle. To Lola, one small push from breakdown. To Manny, who loves but doesn’t understand, so you have to protect him even more.
“I saw you once.
“I knew you once.
“I wish I could see you again.”
“They were my family!”
“And you are my family! My only family! So I protect, too. I protect you. Roxy saves Lola. But I save you!”
“By killing my entire family? Then attacking Hector and Las Ni?as . . . By murdering Roberto. By . . . by . . .” Roxanna pointed wildly at Anya. “By taking out Anya next?”
Mike had tracked Hector to the coffee shop that day, I realized, maybe, like me, after hearing reports of the dogs being found there. He’d wanted revenge on the man who could’ve saved Roxy and Lola from foster care if only Hector had come forward at the courthouse. Just as Mike had gone after Las Ni?as Diablas for luring Lola into the gang lifestyle, then pressuring Roxy to follow. So many wrongs in Roxy’s life. Mike had taken it upon himself to avenge all of them—even the crimes committed by her own family.
“It’s what you were going to do,” Mike said now.
“No, I wasn’t! This is wrong. All of this, it’s wrong! We’re supposed to be better than them, Mike. We’re supposed to be better.”
“There’s no better. Only weaker. I don’t want to be weak anymore.”
His arm was starting to tremble. The strain of holding the gun, the toll of the conversation, watching his best friend dissolve into tears. I should act. Three quick steps . . . Assuming he didn’t pull the trigger first . . .
I caught a movement out of the corner of my eye. D.D. shaking her head slightly at me, as if reading my mind. She had drifted to the right, I realized. Where she now had a line of sight on Mike Davis.
“Do you know what I remember most about this place?” Roxy said abruptly. She looked hard at her best friend, bear spray on one side, fisted hand on the other.
Mike stared at her. Even Anya, sprawled with her bruised face and bloody shoulder, was fixated on her.
“I remember running the catwalk with you. On the ground, you’re always so jangly. But up there . . . you moved so smoothly, so gracefully. You could go everyplace, anyplace. I loved racing with you around the catwalks. Our own little world, where we were the ones in charge, and no one could catch us.”
Mike smiled, faint, sad.
“You kissed me. Do you remember that afternoon? My first kiss. I was happy that day, Mike. You made me happy.”
“My first kiss,” Mike agreed.
“But we didn’t do it again. Because the real world still existed. And I had Lola to take care of and we all had Anya and Roberto to survive. I carried that memory, though. Thoughts of you. So many moments with you. You made it all okay. You were the only person who tried to help me. The only person I ever . . . I’m sorry, Mike.” And now Roxanna was crying again, head up, tears staining her cheeks. “I’m sorry I never told you more. I’m sorry I never returned for you, after my mom took us away. I’m sorry I never let you know everything you meant to me. I’m sorry . . . So sorry I have to do this now.”
She moved; she aimed the bear spray and squeezed the nozzle. And she hit him square in the face. He didn’t duck, didn’t flinch. Didn’t reorient the gun he was holding or pull the trigger. If anything, I watched him turn into the spray of capsaicin, open his mouth, take it all in.
Drawing the pepper spray deep into his lungs . . .
The next moment, I was racing toward the choking, stinging cloud.
“Call nine-one-one,” I yelled. “Call nine-one-one.”