Brom said nothing. He simply gripped my hand.
“But it doesn’t matter what she thinks anymore.” My gut twisted at the truth of the words.
“What are you talking about? How could it not matter now?”
“I’m thinking of turning my back on everything she stands for, Brom. On the Legion’s teachings. On everything. I keep obsessing about it—what would she think about me traveling with two Romantica and wanting to understand what Love is? That would be it, Brom, she’d truly hate me. She’d even try to disown me—get rid of me as a pure descendant.”
“You’re right,” he said in a low voice, “she probably would. But what if you manage to defeat the dragon without a Kiss and figure out how to end this war? Then you’d be the one to admire.”
Leaning my head against the rock and closing my eyes. Now that would be a miracle.
Brom suddenly twisted around at the sound of hooves. “They’re coming. Finally.” He held out the crossbow to me, but I pushed it back to him.
“By all means. You tracked them.”
Brom smiled and propped himself up on his elbows, getting into position just as the herd leaped into view.
...
The evening chill settled early in the mountains. By sunset, it was nearly freezing, and Brom, Zach, and I had to turn to our heavier cloaks as we moved across the rocks. Millennia seemed perfectly fine in her thick blue robes. She was, however, considerate to our thinner clothes and conjured up a small flame to follow us.
Zach gave the flame a wary glance. “When it gets dark, you’ll have to extinguish that.”
Millennia tugged her hood farther over her face. “Whatever you say, prince.”
“It’s one thing to have a fire when we’re stationary and vigilant, it’s another to have one when we’re traveling and exposed,” Zach continued.
“Oy, I’m not arguing with you,” Millennia said, glancing over her shoulder at the sound of a rock Bromley had knocked loose with his boot.
I climbed over a particularly large boulder then stopped to look down. “We may as well camp there.” When all three of them were behind me, I pointed to the dimly lit expanse below.
Bromley let out a low whistle. “I have a feeling what we’ve been through doesn’t count as real mountains.”
He had a point. Below us was a steep ridge that could be climbed down, given careful maneuvering, and beyond was an entire valley of stone walls. They weren’t too steep, but the valley itself was huge—perhaps a whole mile of just rocks.
Because there was nowhere to go but down, we started our descent. For the most part, we were able to move along without one another’s help, but every once in a while, when Millennia wasn’t too exhausted from climbing, she would wave her hand, and the rocks would form a rough staircase.
By the time we reached the valley floor, the sun was already gone and we were able to see the first signs of stars. Millennia produced a small fire and, without a word, passed out on a flat rock, using only a small bundle for a pillow and her heavy robes for covers.
“I’ll take first watch.” Zach headed upward around a pile of rocks to get a good vantage point.
Bromley didn’t need telling twice. He unrolled his bed and covered up with a cloak, facing the small flickering fire.
I took my time getting situated. Occasionally, I would gaze at the stars and watch as the smoke from our fire drifted into the heavens like a hazy gray river. The moon and stars were so close it looked like I could reach up and snatch them out of the sky. At finally hearing Bromley’s breathing turn deep and rhythmic, I placed my hands flat on the cold rock and stared at them, thinking hard.
Did I dare go to Zach now?
Though every muscle in my body yearned to venture closer, the cold mountain air allowed me to keep my wits. Don’t go, Ivy.
What would happen if I went up there?
I clutched the sheet of paper with the spell I’d finally memorized. Gelloren told me to stay away from Millennia, a Romantica. They told lies. I’d always been taught that. But I’d seen the Golden Effect with my own eyes, so how could that be a lie? It didn’t mean Love was the trigger, though. So what was the trigger? Why, then, had the griffin burst into golden light when Zach sacrificed himself for me? Was it the sacrifice itself or the reason he’d done it?
I crumpled the paper.
Because he loved me.
I slammed the ball of paper on the rock and tried to smooth it out, my hands trembling. I had to stop thinking like this. I had to stop being swayed by him. Where was the princess who’d do anything, who’d Kiss anyone to stop a monster? To win?
I’d always been devout in my beliefs.
But I believed in Zach, too. I believed him when he said he loved me. But how could I believe in both things? Wasn’t that hypocrisy?
The spell words on the paper blurred, and I gritted my teeth. I stuffed it into my bag and stood.
I was tired of being confused and tired of being tugged in both directions. For so long I’d been able to ignore the Romantica and their beliefs, because they’d never been a part of my life. But now I had one who seemed to be taking over my every thought. Maybe I owed it to my partner to try to understand what he meant when he said he loved me.
Maybe that’s what was so frustrating about it all. I didn’t know enough about Love and the Romantica to make an educated decision about what I really believed. In a way, that was the most logical—the most Royal—thing to do. If I gathered all the information, I’d feel confident in whatever I chose.
Not like now, when I felt like I was teetering over a large abyss.
I needed to know what was down there before I stepped over the edge, or stepped back to safety.
The breeze picked up, and a strong gust loosened my hair and nearly blew out our fire. I threw some wood onto the pile and walked toward Zach, stepping to the edge.
He sat on a flat, elevated rock that allowed him total view of the valley. He saw me approach but made no move. I hovered above him, remaining standing, and looked at the valley below, thankful for the moon and stars that illuminated the mountain floor.
I shivered as another gust blew through us. “Aren’t you freezing?”
Zach had his arms crossed. He hadn’t yet looked at me. “I’ll survive a chilly night.”
I pursed my lips. “How was hunting with Millennia?”
He smirked, gaze still focused ahead. “Jealous I was alone with another woman?”
I stared at him, then sat down next to him, hugging my knees. “Maybe a little.”
His gaze snapped to me, lips parted in surprise.
It was true, though I’d felt only a slight stab of irritation, knowing she’d get to spend time with him when I didn’t.
Zach’s lips twitched. “You don’t have anything to be worried about.”
The moment he said those words, a rush went through me like I’d never felt before, and I ducked my head, determined not to show it. Yes, I blushed, but it was more than that. It was…a thrill that started in my spine and made me grin so wide my cheeks hurt. It was happiness in the strangest form.
When he caught me smiling, he took my chin and lifted my face to his. “Are you happy about that?”
The smallest smile played on his lips as he waited for me to answer.
“M-maybe a little,” I repeated.
It was possible that Zach hadn’t expected the same reply, but whatever the reason, something had rendered him speechless. With his fingers still holding my chin, we stared into each other’s eyes until I could no longer take it and turned my head away from his grasp.
I cleared my throat. “Did you and Millennia talk about anything interesting during your watch?”
Zach didn’t take his eyes off me. “Not particularly. She asked me about Saevall. My first mission as a member of the Legion. Wanted to know why I had never agreed to a partner before and”—he paused and finally glanced away—“why you were the exception.”
I swallowed and raked hair behind my ear. “And you said?”
Zach grinned, a full-blown smile. “None of her business.”