I tensed. “For what?”
“For…saying what I said earlier.” When she finished my braid, she laid a hand on my shoulder. “I was wrong about you two. You’re different from other Royals. You actually care about people, and I…I don’t think you would actually use a curse as an excuse to…”
I drew away, her previous words coming back to me like the ache of an old wound. I’d been so consumed with finding the amulet, breaking the enchantments, and the golden rain, that I’d forgotten what she’d said about my motivations to Kiss Zach.
The worst of it being there was a part of me that wondered if what she’d said was true. And if it was, how could I bear the shame? Using monsters or curses as an excuse…it was beyond contemptible.
I couldn’t afford to think about it. If I did, I’d start to second-guess everything, and I had a dragon to defeat. Like my mother said, there was no time for doubt or weakness.
“What are you doing here?” I asked finally.
“I told you: I was looking for the witch, and I—”
“No,” I said sharply. “I don’t believe you. Your master just leaving you alone, you happening to be after a witch that places a curse on a village. You run into us, not once but twice. What are you really looking for?”
Millennia stood so fast the old bed rocked me backward into the wall. She played with a curl hanging around her shoulders, twisting it in her pale fingers as she faced away from me and stared out the window. “My master can read the signs just as well as any of your Royal mages can. There’s something dark brewing in these mountains, and we’re looking for it.”
My pulse jumped. Could Millennia and her master know about the Sable Dragon, too?
“It?” I asked.
Her face still set toward the window, fingers twisting her curl, she said, “Get some rest, princess. You’ve been through quite the ordeal.”
Before I could inquire further, she crossed to the door and opened it. Zach met her, his hand poised to knock. They both took a step back. “Sorry,” Zach said.
Millennia rubbed her temple. “Don’t be. I was just about to leave.” She turned back to me and smiled. “Thank you, both of you, for saving this village.” She gave a small bow, bending slightly at the waist, then left.
I returned her smile but made a mental note to ask her more in the morning about what she and her master knew.
Zach hovered awkwardly in the doorway, wearing dry clothes but his hair still wet.
“Where’s Brom?” I asked, breaking the silence.
“Getting something to warm you up.” Zach sat down next to me on the bed.
There were a million things I wanted to say. What was the golden rain? What did he really suspect was the cause of it? Had he seen something like this before? Was it connected to the golden explosion of light when the griffin had died?
I wanted to ask him everything, but he beat me to it.
“That was your mom.”
Because of the enchantment, he had seen my childhood memories of my mother. Before, I might’ve felt shame that he had seen something so personal and intimate, but knowing he had been through the same pain of loneliness, I didn’t.
“I could say the same.”
He winced. “Yes. But you first. If you want to talk, I’m listening.”
After what he’d seen, he might as well hear the rest of it. “When I arrived at the Legion in Myria, I heard many stories about the great Queen Dahlia. My mother was famous…for things both good and bad. Apparently, she was a rebellious youth in her time at the Legion. She skipped patrol, she escaped the castle, and spent nights at the taverns. There was even a rumor that she went to a Romantica camp. But she was powerful. Her Mark of Myriana made all her partners practically invincible, so the Legion put up with her.
“When it came time to send her to Freida, she tried to run away—with a man. He was rumored a commoner, and the Council wouldn’t allow her to waste time or children with a man of no magical blood. They didn’t get far. A wraith came upon them, and my mother had no partner to Kiss. No Royal to help her beat the wraith. The Royal party sent after her managed to save her just in time, but the man had already died in her arms. After that, everything changed. She went straight to Freida, and nine months later, Clover was born. She hated the Legion for making her fight and sleep with men who were practically strangers, but she hated the Forces more. Every one of her children she gave birth to was a duty, an obligation, but also another soldier to take down the Forces. So she was that much harder on us.
“If I wasn’t perfect at everything, she’d tell me I brought her shame. That I’d never be strong enough to save people, to destroy the Forces. But I was just a child—I wasn’t perfect. I was clumsy sometimes and got hurt, so I cried, and she was never around to give me even one healing Kiss.”
My eyes burned. My throat itched.
“She shut you out often?”
“An understatement. Anyway, she’s obsessed with finding the Wicked Queen. It’s a vendetta. If it wasn’t for the Queen there’d be no Forces. No wraiths to take away the man she’d tried to run away with. No need for Royals to continue breeding like rabbits. No reason for my mother to give up her freedom.” I tugged at my braid. “It could be that she just hates me. Not even that she hates what I represent. Just…me—” My voice caught. I’d never said these words aloud before.
Wringing the thin dress in my hands, I remembered what Brom had said back in Myria. What he’d said after I told him he knew why I had to fight.
You won’t get her approval. Even if you win.
Deep down, I knew Brom was right. There was too much bad blood between the two of us for my mother to ever truly be proud of me. But maybe if I killed this dragon. Killed the Evil Queen and ended the war, she’d stop being obsessed with perfection, with being Myriana’s pure descendant. Maybe she’d just see…me. Not as a Royal. Not as a weapon against the Forces. But just as me. As her daughter. It was exactly as Zach had said back in the well. I wanted her to want me for just being me.
Zach’s fingers brushed his mark on my hand, and I let go of the fabric, leaving it wrinkled. His fingers entwined in mine and squeezed.
I swallowed and said softly, “But your mother… I’m so sorry…”
“It’s in the past.”
“You were running,” I whispered, remembering the sweat on the boy’s skin and his labored breathing. Perhaps my cruel words about him running from a fight had been all too true.
Zach ran a hand through his hair. “I was always scared as a kid. A coward, really. But I was also the only half Royal in our Romantica village, so whenever there was a dark monster near, I could feel it.”
I bit my lip. “The Sense.”
Zach nodded. “I was the only one with the Sense, and whenever it settled over my chest, it felt like I couldn’t breathe. I was terrified. When the griffin came—I’d never felt anything like that. So I just…I ran. I ran out of the house without thinking. Mom chased after me, and because I’d run, she was attacked…”
“You were barely six years old. You can’t possibly blame yourself.”
“I used to. And it was why I vowed to get stronger. I joined a rebel group of Romantica and trained. It was they who taught me there might be more to the Royals’ magic. That it…”
He trailed off, shooting me a wary glance, as if he wanted to take back the words.
My head throbbed, as if warning me that I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. “Tell me everything, Zach.”
His eyes flickered to the sunset outside the window. The magical rain had stopped, but the sunset illuminated our room in a golden light. It reminded me of the forest that morning, when he had nearly kissed me.
Zach faced me and placed his hands on the pillows and sheets on either side of me. “Lie back, princess.” He leaned in, trapping me.