“Not so much.” He hauled her to him, pulling her close.
Delaney nestled her head against his chest and gripped the edges of his shirt with fingers that she feared might not let go. “It has to be okay, Clyde. It has to. We have no choice. You have no choice. For all intents and purposes, when I pull the plug—it’s over. Really, really over,” she whispered against his shirt.
“Understood. Doesn’t mean it’s okay.” Clyde’s hands kneaded her spine, gentle and reassuring.
Delaney rolled her head against his chest at the irony of this. “Crap. Only I could fall for a demon that isn’t a demon but should really be upstairs, who’s half dead on life support and I have to shut him down. Only me. Some might say that was pretty jacked up. Almost all my adult life I spent without so much as a goddamned date, and then you show up. Ya think maybe I could’ve gotten a break here?”
Clyde chuckled. “So you fell for me, is what you’re saying?”
She clenched her eyes tight, knowing this was her last chance. “Oh, for fuck’s sake. You’re going to make me, aren’t you? Fine. Cue weepy Lifetime-movie moment. I like you, Clyde. I like you a whole lot more than I ever thought I’d like a guy who thinks the way you do, lives the way you lived. Eats the crap you eat. All those things you said back in the bathroom—the flowers, the text messages—would have had my thong all up in a wad. Given a little longer, I might have considered stalking you if you didn’t man up and beat me into submission. Okay? Are we good?” Her eyes ached, grainy and she was sure red from fighting off spending their last moments with her crying like a big, stupid girl.
But her big-girl panties just kept slipping and she couldn’t seem to hike them up.
Clyde’s fingers lifted her chin. In the dim light of his hospital room, he smiled—it held myriad emotions. “And all my life I was so self-absorbed . . . I would have had no one to help me figure this mess out because of it—until you. I want you to always remember how grateful I am for that, and that all the things I said back in the hotel bathroom were true.”
Delaney snorted, thumbing tears from her cheeks. “Yeah, suuure. You can hand me a line like that now because you’re hitting greener pastures and you won’t be here to break up with me when I’ve driven you crazy with my herbs and self-help books—”
“And tofu . . .”
“And tofu,” she agreed, giving in to the tears that wouldn’t be thwarted. “So . . . if this—this,” she stuttered, “is it—”
“Huey Lewis and the News, 19—”
Delaney planted a firm finger over his luscious lips to quiet him before she replaced it with her mouth. The salt of her tears landing on her tongue when she crushed her mouth to his, savoring, lingering . . .
Forcing herself to pull away, she took one last squeeze to remember him by, and gulped a breath of air before saying. “So here’s the plan—when I pull the plug, I’m crossing my fingers that’ll free you up. If you see the light—go into it. Hell, run into it, and don’t look back, okay? Most of all, be happy, find your parents. I know they’re waiting. I feel it. And do us all a favor—don’t blow anything up, okay?” she squeaked, fighting for light and easy when dread was about to swallow her whole.
“Nope.” Clyde looked down at her with an expression that had her worried.
Her head cocked to the left. “Come again?”
“I’ve decided I’m not leaving until I can assure myself you’re safe. We can shut me down anytime, Delaney. I realize I have to go. I’m fully prepared to do that. I’m just not doing it until I make sure Lucifer’s no longer interested in you. I don’t care what Marcella said, I won’t be doing any of this resting you all talk about when I cross if you’re still Lucifer’s target. So no can do.” He crossed his arms over his chest and backed even further away from his hospital bed.
Whether by trick of the dim light or her tired eyes, she wasn’t sure, but Clyde’s form began to fade. Much the way the spirits had when he was around.
Yet her mouth fell open, her tears drying up with her disbelief. “Did you just fucking lose your mind? What about that statement is rational or logical? You have to go, Clyde. It won’t be long before Lucifer comes calling because of what you did to Clyve. Marcella was spot-on. He’ll go whining back to Satan and then we’re fucked. You’re fucked. There’s nothing he can do to me that you didn’t already tell me about. But you’re a free-falling soul, pal. Up for grabs. You have to cross before he finds you—this is nonnego tiable.” Delaney tried to keep her voice to a whisper, but it rose and fell with the fear that the devil would show up and make mince-meat of Clyde. If the devil snatched Clyde’s soul back up, she’d never sleep a wink for the rest of her friggin’ life.