If that was her lot, it would have to be enough. Even if it was never quite enough.
She would do it. She would love them both—and in so doing, she would prepare their hearts for each other. It would hurt, but she would savor this year, the time with each
of them before they met. And then she would accept whatever Jehovah gave her.
“Mistress, Hegai returns.”
She nodded to Theron, and gave Esther one last hug. “We will talk again soon. Only one other girl has requested a second meeting with me, and I have but two more new ones.
”
Esther grinned. “I shall endeavor to be as backwards as possible, so that I have an excuse to need your tutelage.”
Chuckling, Kasia drew away. “Only necessary for a while, after which we can let it be known we have become friends.”
Esther nodded, then composed herself just before the door opened. Hegai stepped in with a smile. “Did my two favorites have a good visit?”
“Excellent,” Kasia replied.
“I look forward to meeting with her again.” Esther gave her a warm smile and stood. “I am honored by your attention, lady.”
“Come, Esther, you are due for your next session in myrrh.” Hegai winked at Kasia. “I am to tell you the king is in his palace, if you are inclined to see him yet.”
For the first time in weeks, her heart leapt at the thought. She hurried back to her own room to eat and feed Zillah, put her down for the evening. Then rushed toward the
king’s palace. She had not the time to waste on anger and uncertainty. Better to give that pain over to Jehovah and ask him to pour new life into their marriage. Life
enough to pulse even after his attention went mostly elsewhere.
She found him at a table, studying his scrolls with a frown. “Put it anywhere, Zethar. I am not hungry yet.”
Her lips tugged up. “You know, when you call for one of your wives, it is rude to be unprepared for her.”
“Kasia.” The scroll fell to the table as he vaulted from his seat. Pleasure lit his eyes, though it was underscored with caution. “I did not think you would come.”
She took a single step toward him. “Life is too short to waste it on unforgiveness.”
The caution gave way to joy. And teasing. “But I have only had a week to prove my steadfast devotion.”
She pressed her lips down on the grin and took another step. “Was it a long, torturous week?”
Xerxes sidled toward her. “The longest, most torturous in history. Made the longer and more torturous because it came after two months without you.”
She sped across the room and threw herself into his arms. He held her close, then closer, and buried his face in her hair. “You have really forgiven me?”
“I will not lie, Xerxes. Things will never be the same. But that does not mean they cannot be different, even better.” She pressed her lips to his neck and breathed in the
scent of him, incense and myrrh. “I could have given up my love for you—but what, then, would be the point to life?”
He left a trail of kisses along her jaw, ending on her lips in one both sweet and fiery. “Whatever made you realize that, I am grateful.”
She felt a nudge within her spirit and dragged in a fortifying breath. “It was one of the new brides. Esther. She has known much sorrow in her life—but as I encouraged her
to open her heart to you, I realized I must do the same.”
“I have never met her, and already I am in her debt.”
“You will like her. I think she and I will be great friends.”
His lips moved along the other side of her jaw. “Mmm. Good. You have arranged a nurse for Zillah tonight?”
“Yes, though if I stay all night, I will get very uncomfortable.”
His hands slid down her back, anchored on her hips. “Then when you must go, I shall go with you. You are mine tonight, my love.” He pulled away enough to grin. “Though I
suppose I shall share you with our princess.”
“Very generous of you.” She tugged his head down so she could kiss him again. Soon enough she would have to share him too—but not tonight.
*
Kasia spotted them before any servant found her in the gardens to tell her they were there. They moved with trepidation, uncertainty screaming from the curl of their
shoulders and the way they gripped each other’s hands.
Hers shook. They had come. Abba and Ima had come. Zech stood behind them, satisfaction tugging up his mouth. Her joy was too consuming to leave room for satisfaction.
Kasia handed Zillah to Xerxes and took off at a run. “Abba! Ima!”
Her mother moved first, leaping away from husband and son to meet her halfway. When their arms closed around each other, Kasia finally felt as though she had come home. “Oh
Ima, how I missed you.”
“Kasia, my baby.” Ima squeezed her tighter—her tears dripped onto Kasia’s shoulder. “You have never left my thoughts.”
“Nor you, mine. Especially lately, now that I am an ima too.”
“Your next time I will be here.”
“Yes, next time.” She buried her head into the crook of Ima’s neck and smiled.