He met her gaze again, his strangely soft. “My love, we both know my son is not the type to accept such an answer. I realize the memories must be painful—”
“There are no memories! Do you not think I would have told you had it been something more? Do you think I could have hidden my heart from you, and the scars that would have
left behind? Have I seemed at all hurt?”
His Adam’s apple bobbed. “You avoid him. Avoid the mere mention of him.”
“Because he kissed me.” A particularly gruesome shriek pierced the air. Kasia squeezed her eyes shut. “I cannot believe we are having this conversation while Parsisa . .
. why do you not stop it?”
“I cannot. I agreed to grant her a request.”
The screams came to an abrupt halt. That, even more than the terrible noise, sent a wash of fear through her. Xerxes motioned one of his eunuchs toward the exit.
Kasia shook her head, tried in vain to blink back the tears. “Why would you do something so stupid? Not just the affair, which is awful enough. But you know Amestris’s
wrath. Why would you give away the shawl? And why, after doing so, would you be so foolish as to grant her a favor?”
Only at the collective gasp behind her did she realize all the other women had come out. She bit her lip. Perhaps she could get away with speaking to him like that in
private, but to call the king a fool in front of all his wives?
She might as well offer herself next to the murderous guards.
Xerxes did not seem to notice. He rubbed a hand over his face. “I did not realize she knew already. But I felt guilty for it and thought . . .”
The eunuch reappeared, his face pale as a specter. “She is yet alive, though I cannot imagine for long. They are taking her home.”
“What did they do to her?” Xerxes’ voice was dead and even.
“Mutilated her, master, in ways I cannot say in front of the women.”
His eyes slid shut. “My brother will not forgive this.”
He was not the only one. Vision blurred and rocking, Kasia turned toward her quarters. The sea of wives parted before her.
“Kasia, wait.”
Instead she ran, ran until she gained the tremulous sanctuary of her own room, where Zillah still slept peacefully in her cradle.
She ought to have realized Xerxes would follow. His hands curled over her shoulders, and he stood so close his body heat wrapped around her.
She did not want it. Did not want the comfort it would give or the familiarity it exuded. “This is too much, Xerxes. Artaynte is my friend.”
His thumbs stroked up her neck. “She used to be. But seeing how Darius loves you, I think her anger eclipsed everything else. As mine did. I did not love her, Kasia. I know
the court will say I did, will whisper about how well she must have pleased me for me to give her that shawl, but it was only revenge.”
This, then, was why the Lord claimed vengeance for himself. It was too bitter, too terrible for the likes of men to bear. “You have destroyed your family, Xerxes.”
His hands tightened, then fell away. “I did not do it alone. Darius was the one who decided lust meant more than blood.”
She spun, hands fisted. “Which was wrong. But Darius is little more than a boy, ruled by his emotions and desires. You are a man, Xerxes. A king. You ought to know the
price for such things.”
Anger kindled in his eyes. Good. Better a battle than the sobs she felt building in her throat. He drew in a long breath. “I know this will mean nothing to you, but it was
her idea.”
“Nothing at all. You betrayed your son in the worst way imaginable. And your brother . . .”
His eyes slid shut. “I know. I did not realize what Amestris would do.”
New fury simmered. “And why not? You know venom flows in place of her blood. You know what she tried after you gave me the torc. Yet you have done nothing to curb her power
since we returned, nothing to remind the world that she is not still the queen.”
Eyes flying open, he spat, “I was a little preoccupied with the woman I love nearly dying in labor.”
She shot Desma a reproving glance. “It has been nearly a month and a half since then.”
“During which I was settling back into rule.”
“And seducing your son’s wife.”
“I did not seduce—” He cut himself off with a curse. “What would you have me do, Kasia? I cannot undo it, though I wish I could. I cannot save Parsisa. I cannot even
punish Amestris, not with the responsibility of it weighing on my shoulders.”
“You can name a new queen.”
He looked weary and unconvinced. “What would that solve? I cannot name you, but bringing in new young women will take a year.”
It stung, even though she would have been the first to agree. “It will convey a message.”
“She is right.”
She looked beyond her husband, to where his advisers came through her doorway. A sigh gathered in her chest. The last time these men had stepped foot in her chamber,
Amestris had ended up deposed. Hard to believe they were here again, again in response to the first wife’s atrocities.