It Ain't Me, Babe (Hades Hangmen, #1)

It was all so… normal. I cherished feeling normal. When you have been cast out by people your entire life, normalcy becomes… beautiful.

The leather uniform I had to wear at Ride was… different: tight black leathers and a black skin-tight Hangmen tank, but I actually kind of loved that too. I was gradually building my own life with a man I adored and friends with whom I enjoyed spending my days. Most days, Letti would drop by the store and “shoot the shit,” as only she could say. Letti worked in the bike garage next door with Bull, Tank, and a few others who I did not really know too well yet.

All in all, life was progressing well. That is apart from Rider. After Styx was injured, Rider went on a long run to Louisiana and several other states on club business. I had not heard from him since and I missed him so much. I missed talking to him. I missed laughing with him. He had not even told me goodbye.

Beauty placed a cup of steaming coffee beside me, readying herself to help me shelve the rest of the leathers. “So Styx picking you up today?” she asked, striking up a conversation.

“Yes.” I checked the clock on the wall behind the counter and smiled. “He should be here anytime.”

“You okay to work again tomorrow, darlin’? We’ve been swamped lately.”

I beamed a huge smile at my friend. “Of course! I love it here. I am not good at anything except folding garments, but I enjoy keeping busy all the same.”

“Hell, girl, you’re the best shop girl I got. The cult you grew up with may have been backward as all hell, but they sure taught you some damn good domestic skills!” Beauty stopped and looked at me. “Shit! I’m sorry, Mae, sometimes my mouth just runs away!”

I could not help but laugh. “It is okay. You are right. We did have to perform our chores well or risk punishment. Believe me, we all became quick studies.”

Beauty’s blue eyes filled with sympathy. “Mae, I know you never talk about what happened back there, but I’m here if you ever want to. I won’t tell no one, not a soul.”

Clutching a pair of wide leather pants to my chest, I swallowed back a lump in my throat. “That means so much to me. Thank you.”

Beauty wrapped her arm around me and squeezed before quickly letting go.

We went back to work in silence.

“You remind me of my friend,” I said quietly, a short time later.

“Really?” Beauty stopped in her task and smiled my way.

“Yes. Her name is Delilah, or Lilah, as I know her. She is beautiful with long blond hair and blue eyes. Beautiful… just like you.”

I could feel Beauty watching me, but I continued shelving clothes, feeling a little exposed, unwilling even to glance her way.

“Do you miss her?” she asked softly.

My eyes closed and a pang of searing pain shot through my chest. “Incredibly so, I… I…” My eyes darted to Beauty, then quickly away. “My eldest sister, Bella… died. This is why I left commune. I wanted… I asked Lilah to join me, but she refused to leave. She was scared. My younger sister, Maddie, is still there also. I miss them both so much that sometimes when I think of them, I find it impossible to breathe. I am here, free, experiencing life and in love with the most incredible man. And they are there in that prison… alone.”

“Mae,” Beauty whispered sadly, rubbing her hand along my back. I continued. “I believe I shall see them again someday. I pray every night that I shall. They are my family. But… they would not leave with me. They believe in The Order and are too afraid of the world outside.”

“Have you ever thought about trying to find the commune? The club would help you get them back.”

I started, my heart kicking into a too-fast rhythm. “No! I do not even know where to begin. I never want to see that place again… ever. It is evil, Beauty. They would never let me leave if I went back. I never want to set foot on that land.”

“Hell, girl! Styx’ll keep you safe. That man is crazy over you!” Beauty blushed and bit on her lip. I could not interpret her expression, but then she said, “Mae?”

“Yes?”

“He speaks to you, don’t he?”

“Yes,” I answered warily. “We talk… He is very good to me.”

“You know, in the whole time I’ve been associated with the club, I’ve never really heard his voice. No one but Ky has. I know he called for you in the shooting, shocking the brothers to all hell, but too much was happening to really take note. What does he sound like?”

I blushed. “Deep, graveled, strong Texan accent, almost like he has gargled with broken glass… perfect. I adore its sound and could listen to him talk all day.” I blushed even more.

Beauty beamed, her smile lighting up her whole face. “I’m so happy for you both. I used to worry ’bout the guy. I’m glad you give him a voice, a safe place to be himself. He has a tough job, being so young. But Christ, the guy is one helluva good Prez. Even the old guys—Smokey and Bone, who’ve seen three Hangmen Presidents in their lives—they say Styx is the strongest, the best. Born to wear that patch.”

I quickly finished shelving the last pair of pants and pulled Beauty in for a hug. It shocked her. I could tell by her sharp gasp. I did not show affection often, it was not natural to me, but I really appreciated Beauty’s friendship, especially right now.

“Ahem.” Someone cleared his throat behind us. Letting go of Beauty, I glanced over her shoulder.

“Hello, Flame,” I greeted, spotting him standing awkwardly at the main door. His eyes darted all over the place, from the floor to the ceiling and over his shoulder. He was always uneasy, always on guard.

“Mae. Beauty,” he greeted flatly with a nod. Flame was dressed in dark jeans, white shirt and his cut. His strangely-cut dark hair was messy and windswept from riding, but his large, almond-shaped black eyes shone with their usual eerie glare.

He addressed me blankly. “Styx had business to attend to. Sent me to pick you up and take you home. Straight to his apartment. Okay?”

“Oh, okay,” I replied. “When will he be back?”

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