Sister Eve simply stood back up and tugged me until I again fell into step. I tried to ask more questions. But Sister Eve refused to answer. She would not listen to me. After many more vain attempts to obtain information, I had reluctantly fallen silent and dutifully followed her to the great room.
What I witnessed had made me simper with fear. I remember the air was hazy with a thick earthy-scented smoke. Large bottles with pipe contraptions littered the large space. White cushions and bed mattresses covered the floor; all were occupied. The brothers—the disciples—were all without clothing, behind sisters of all ages, young and old, doing something to them. The sisters were bare too. They were bent over with their heads to the floor, hands clasped behind their backs. The Prophet David sat on a raised stage with three older sisters. He had touched their naked bodies. Then he had touched himself… there, as he watched the many couples positioned around the room.
Sister Eve felt me resist as I scanned the room. She then bent down and whispered, “If you refuse, you will only make this harder on yourself. Believe me, girl, the punishment for your lack of cooperation will be much, much worse.”
I remember nodding slowly in trepidation. I knew I could face the lash no more.
Terror gripped me as I followed Sister Eve to one side of the room and Brother Gabriel had watched me pass. He had smiled at me even as he rocked back and forth behind a dark-haired sister on the floor. I did not understand what he was doing to her at that point. The sister stayed silent as he grunted and groaned loudly and his hands had pawed at every inch of her bare skin.
I remember watching in horror. Sister Eve then whipped off my gown and pushed me to the floor, positioning my body—head down, hands gripped behind my back… mirroring every sister in the room. In panic, I struggled to stand, but Sister Eve’s heavier weight pinned me down. This made me struggle even more.
Sister Eve sighed in exasperation. Suddenly, I was freed of her downward pressure and I slowly sat up. But I remember all too well blanching when I realized what the sister was about to do.
Sister Eve quickly walked back to me, holding a device. It looked like a bear trap: two metal hand-like claws held together by hinges, each claw had large, spiky teeth. I remember I stopped breathing as she knelt beside me.
“I will place this between your legs. Move and the claws will cut into your skin. We use it to encourage the sisters to keep still. A word of advice, think of a good place and take yourself there. Learn to block out the pain.”
Pain? I thought. What did she mean by that?
Sister Eve then turned me back to face the floor. She repositioned me. As my legs widened, she then thrust the device between my thighs. The sharp metal teeth dug into my flesh as soon as I struggled to free myself. I recall crying out in great pain as the metal teeth sank into my flesh, then delved deeper into my thigh muscles as I struggled for the last time.
After a while, I knew resisting was proving hopeless. I could not move. I had been trapped in the position that would very soon become all too familiar.
Breathing heavily, I remember I tried with all my might to stay calm. My eyes darted around the room. Then the girl next to me turned her head and caught my eye.
It was Bella. My sister.
At the same time, she realized it was me beside her. Tears dropped from her eyes and she mouthed, “Will be okay. I love you.”
Another wave of panic swept through me when I felt large, rough hands grip my hips. Bella’s eyes widened in empathy. I screamed and squirmed, trying to escape. Of their own volition, my hands clawed an inch forward, but the trap ripped at my thighs. And after a few short seconds of struggle, as Sister Eve foretold, it simply became too painful to move.
And that is when it happened…
My innocence had been lost forever and my duty as a sister had begun. Not once did I break eye contact with Bella. Both of us had been united through our blood bond. We supported each other, helped each other find Sister Eve’s recommendation: a good place to block out the pain. Bella told me she loved me over and over again, through every moment of the horrific act.
Then when it was over, I ran from the smoky room. I remember glancing back only to see Brother Gabriel sully Bella once again. I jumped over brothers taking their rest. And I will never forget how the sisters looked; so numb and unfeeling.
We all looked like ghosts.
After that, I ran into the forest. I did not let myself stop until I reached the perimeter fence. Five minutes later, I heard a rustling sound and a boy appeared on the other side of the high wire mesh. I remember thinking he could not have been much older than me, maybe only a few years. He was dark and tall with the most lovely hazel-colored eyes I had ever seen. He had been beautiful.
Spotting me lying on the forest floor, he walked over, moving his hands but he said nothing. He made me feel safe. He distracted me from the pain. He had been a light in my moment of darkness… He had given me a kind, soft kiss. Then he left, never to be seen again, until fifteen years later… when he gave me a fragile precious gift once more… renewed hope.
I could not help but reminisce as I sat still on the soft mattress in Styx’s quiet room. The mattress that smelled like him. I had been so young when I was forced to join with men and I hated every minute. What Styx had just given me was like nothing I had ever felt before. It was a fire, a burning fire at the bottom of my spine. It was a pressure, a pressure too intense for words. Then it spiraled into a frenzy, way out of my control.
I had gripped the headboard, pulling to escape the emotion yet at the same time pushing to bring the delicious feeling even closer. And then he touched me… there… and I exploded. I shattered into tiny fragments, my soul bursting with light—too much yet not enough. I was instantly addicted.