"So?"
"Patience, my dear mad girl." The Pillar pauses and takes a longer drag on purpose. He wants to teach me to listen, and not interrupt him. "Of course, a cheese warehouse in Cheshire attracted a whole lot of miserable rats." He imitates their squeaky voices on the phone. I am starting to glimpse part of his insanity. "The rats came from all over the world to the cheese warehouse, thanks to the ships arriving to transport the cheese. That's when the cats crawled into Cheshire County, assembling on the dockside to catch the endless amount of rats. And since no Pied Piper ever came to Cheshire, the Cheshire Cats were the happiest in the kingdom. Happiest means they grinned all the time."
I find myself wanting to sit all of a sudden, still staring at that grinning cat on the block of cheese on the table. Part of the Pillar's story sent thunderbolts to my head, as if I should remember this myself, but I can’t. Another part was the craziness of the fact that the Cheshire Cat is real. This isn’t a game. This isn’t a copycat.
"Alice?" the Pillar says.
"I'm here. Just felt a bit dizzy. Why is the Cheshire sending us this message then?"
"Well, for one, the message is for me. I imagine he has other riddles for you, later. As for now, he wants to remind us he is real, not just a grinning cat in a book with pictures. He has a history and an origin. He wants us to respect him."
"So what is he? A cat possessing someone’s soul?" I let out a nervous laugh.
"I can’t answer that now. But you'll never look at cats the same way again, will you?" the Pillar laughs without acknowledging me. "Now, let's get back to the puzzles. Look closer at the block of cheese. You might find something underneath it. I'm sure this game isn't finished yet."
I pick up the cheese and inspect it.
"Anything?" the Pillar asks.
"Yes," I say. "When I turn the cheese upside down, I see something carved on its back."
"Please read it, Alice. Meow some Cheshire music to my ears." The Pillar is a notch too excited now. I'm caught between a serial killer I am supposed to catch, and another puffing nonsense in my ears.
"It says: Eat Me." I shake my head at the silliness.
"Now that's frabjous in a very Jub Jub way," the Pillar claps his hands.
"Look, I'm not going to do it," I fist my hands and whisper with gritted teeth.
"I think you will, Alice," the Pillar says in the calmest voice I've ever heard.
"Listen, you little piece of..." I wave my forefinger in the air, and notice people tilting their heads toward me. "You little piece of caterpillar," I smile broadly at the tourists. They squint at my absurdness.
"Poor girl. She's caught into the act that she really is Alice," an old woman with white bushy hair tells her husband. "She even dresses like her."
"Wise woman," the Pillar laughs at me on the phone.
"The tourists think I am a loon," I turn and face Lewis Carroll's portrait, so I can talk to him privately.
"Good for you, or they’d be calling the police for suspicious activity in the Great Hall. Now be a good girl, and do what the Cheshire asks."
"Tell me one reason why I should, Professor Pillar," I challenge him. "You can’t make me."
"Please look at the back of the Cheshire’s map, and then tell me you have changed your mind." He is too sure of himself. No hint of sarcasm or insanity.
I pull the crumbled map from my pocket and flatten it upon the portrait. The heck with what people think of me. I flip it on its back and discover there is handwriting in the middle: Either you solve my riddles fast, or the next girl dies before noon. The message hits me like a pebble in the eye. I raise my head and gaze at the sun beyond the high windows. Its rays are almost perpendicular outside. I have so little time to save a girl from death. The sneaky Pillar knew about her from the beginning.
"Still think you're not mad, Alice?" the Pillar's voice scares me. "Because it rather takes a mad to catch a mad.”
Chapter 22
“Give me a minute to think it over.” I turn around and stare at the big block of cheese.
“A minute might be a bit too late,” the Pillar says. “Look at you, staring at the cheese like a hungry mouse. The Cheshire is probably watching you somewhere, and his plan is working so far," the Pillar's words tick in my head like a time bomb. A girl's life is at stake here. "I hope you get the irony he is conveying. Back in Cheshire County, he used to feed on the mice eating the cheese from the warehouse. By eating the cheese, you will be his little mouse now, Alice. Your reluctance isn't doing the girl any good."