I told myself I’d be coming back here after I buried my mother, whom I watched just hours ago draw her last breath but deep down I knew the truth. I could never come back to this place, with my mother gone now there was nothing for me here. No one was left in my life who gave a damn about me. Not that I deserved my mother’s unconditional love I have been nothing but a pain in the ass to her since the day I fucked up my knee and they told me I couldn’t play football anymore. But my mother the saint that she had been tried so hard to keep me on the straight and narrow encouraging me at every turn in my life. There was no one left to be on my side to root for my successes and bestow words of wisdom when I failed. I was utterly alone.
Irrationally, I blamed Victor and my dad now for her death. Granted, no one actually murdered my mother, but if it hadn’t been for my father dying my mother never would’ve moved us out here and never would’ve been on that interstate that stormy night. Her car never would’ve flipped three times and I wouldn’t be heading back to New York to add another name on the tombstone that marked our family plot if they hadn’t made the choices they had in life.
I had to hand it to Victor though, no matter how much of a dickhead, I was being to him, he still seemed to be trying to get into my good graces. When Victor offered me a job back home, I actually contemplated taking him up on his offer.
He wanted me to run the new nightclub he was opening. He was giving me a chance at a legitimate life respecting my mother’s wishes all the while still abiding by my father’s. I shrugged him off and told him I’d think about it not committing myself to anything. The first thing I had to do was get through this funeral.
I stepped into the living room, ignoring my audience, I made my way to the liquor cabinet. I grabbed the half a bottle of bourbon twisting off the cap I took a hefty gulp. I felt three pairs of eyes on me and could give a fuck less. I’d offer them a shot, but I was a greedy motherfucker. The liquid burned my throat and warmed my belly. I clutched the liquor bottle as if it was my salvation still managing to hold the duffel bag in my hand. I glanced over at the three men that had barged in here last night, then stood by my side while I said goodbye to my mom this morning and now waited to take me back home.
Victor slowly stood up, his eyes firmly planted on me as he buttoned his suit jacket. “You about ready son?”
It burned my ass that he called me son, but I left it alone for the time being. I took another swig of bourbon the liquid burning my throat, making it hard for me to speak. “Just about.” I croaked.
I peered at him as the dapper don shoved one hand into his pants pocket as he looked over his shoulder at Jimmy. “Jim go bring the car around.”
Jimmy pulled the toothpick that he was chewing on out of his mouth before nodding. “You got it boss.”
I refrained from rolling my eyes. I couldn’t help but wonder if my father jumped at Victor’s every command much like Jimmy did.
“You can ride back with Anthony.” Victor said patting Anthony on the back as he walked passed him. “Give you two some time to catch up.” He stopped to stand right in front of me, his eyes drifting down towards the bottle I was clutching. “Go easy on that, huh.” He said with a nod of his head towards the bottle.
I brought the bottle up to my mouth grinning as I took another shot. I’ll be damned if I’m going to take orders from him. I watched his jaw tick ever so slightly and he watched me silently. I took a deep breath shuddering as the alcohol filled me. Victor stared at me for a moment the wheels in his head no doubt turning. I’m sure if I was anyone else he would’ve had a few choice words for me, but with my mother having died just hours ago he kept his mouth shut. He glanced over his shoulder at Anthony and then nodded towards the door.
He granted me one last nod before heading towards the front door. I waited a moment before I took another sip of bourbon watching as Anthony followed him to the door. I didn’t even bother to strain myself to hear what Victor said to him in hushed tones. I imagine it went something along the lines of ‘take care of him’ or maybe ‘don’t let him get drunk’. Either way I was sure my old friend was my newly appointed babysitter for the ride back home to hell.