I froze all the noise faded away as my eyes landed on her. She had her back to me as she sat alone at one of the metal tables. I might not be able to see her face, but I had memorized every single thing about her before I had left and I’d know that backside anywhere. Her hair was a dead giveaway too always so shiny and if I touched it, I know it would feel like silk under my fingertips. I should turn around and deny the visit go back to my pushups and try to forget that Adrianna Pastore existed, but my feet moved towards her betraying my common sense.
The truth was I couldn’t deny myself her never could. I had set my sights on her when were teenagers and I wouldn’t stop until she was mine. The shitty thing about that was after I finally had her I got cocky and arrogant and thought I’d never lose her. I wasn’t fucking around when I said I never did a drug, but still I was a junkie when it came to the woman I was addicted to and I could never deny myself a fix. I rounded the table feeling her eyes on me as I took the seat in front of her trying not to look at her just yet knowing that when I did I’d start to feel that burn in my chest that I seemed to get every time I looked into those eyes of hers. I clenched my fists in my lap so that I wouldn’t reach out and take her face in my hands trace my fingers over every perfect feature on her face and kiss her until they carted me back to my cell. I blew out a breath, lifted my head, and succumbed to my own torture as my eyes met hers.
Those sad eyes held me captive wishing like hell that I had never left my fucking cell because the brokenhearted girl that sat before me tore my heart to shreds. She was pale and had circles under her eyes that made her look like she hadn’t slept in weeks yet still she looked stunning. Even on a bad day, she could turn the head of any guy she encountered. I could just imagine what the C.O.’s say when she struts her tight ass through the metal detectors.
“What happened to your eye?” She whispers softly, lifting her hand to touch the bruise under my eye, but drops her hand deciding against it and folds her hands neatly on top of the table.
Thank Christ because I can’t handle her touch not when I’m fucking trapped in a cage.
“What’re you doing here A? Pretty sure told you not to come here no more.” I grind out diverting my eyes to the inmate next to me that’s sharing a laugh with wife and son. I wonder why he’s in the can wonder what choice he stupidly made that took him from his family.
Her eyes filled with water as she shook her head slightly.
“I don’t know what happened to you.” She leaned closer and my eyes instantly dropped to her chest indulging in the tiny bit of cleavage she had on display. Her tits looked twice the size I remembered them to be and I knew tonight when I was lying in bed trying to forget her I’d jerk off to that little glimpse of heaven she was giving me right now.
“Is someone bothering you here? Do you---“
I lifted my head abruptly, shaking my head slightly as I wondered when she would stop having my back. One look at me with a black eye and she was ready to go to bat call a lawyer or a fucking congressman if she had to switch me to a different jail. She was a good girl and I was a lucky son of a bitch to have had her in my corner. I hope the next guy knows how fucking lucky he is and treats her like gold. I hope he has the sense to hang on to her doesn’t blow it like I did.
“I don’t need your help Adrianna.” I clip. “So if you would just get to the fucking point and then be on your way.” I look away from her knowing that I’m hurting her but I don’t have a choice. She has to hate me because I can’t handle her loving me.
“For the life of me, I can’t understand why I don’t hate you. I want to hate I want to hate you so bad, but something inside me doesn’t let me.” She says sounding defeated.
“You should hate me.” I turn my head and lean forward so my cold eyes stare deep into hers. “You should hate me with everything inside of you. You should fucking despise me A.”
“But I don’t.” She whispers her eyes searching hopefully for something as she looks at me.
“I don’t want you coming here anymore; I don’t know how many fucking times I have to tell you. I don’t need you looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you can’t live without me.” I said angrily. “It’s really not fair to you because I live just fine without you every day.”
“Is that why you let people beat on you? You’re doing so well in here that you’re someone else’s punching bag?” She tilted her chin toward my eye. “Yeah, you’re doing amazing in here.”
“Has nothing to do with you.” I lie every fucking thing I do revolves around her, but she doesn’t need to know that she needs to forget me. She needs to let me go.
“I didn’t come here to fight with you.” She says before looking down at her hands. She remains silent for a few moments before she lifts her head and there are tears making their way down her cheeks. It’s agony watching her cry pure fucking torture.
“Look, whatever you came here for doesn’t matter.” I grip the edge of the table. “You need to leave.” I push back my chair and mentally prepare myself to walk away from her again.
“Anthony there is something I have to tell you.” She cries like full fledge crying now. I don’t get up like I planned instead I remain perfectly still as I look at her expectantly.