Nicole walks closer. “I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve been through. I lost Callum for a week and I thought I was going to crumble. To know that I would never see him again, would destroy me. So, I won’t stand here like an asshole and tell you how to live, but I ask you this, are you living?”
I don’t have the answer to that. I wake up, I function, I survive, but I’m angry. I’m angry at the piece of shit who stole away my husband. I’m livid that we don’t have answers because the justice system that Peter was a part of continues to fail me. I feel a deep rage at the fact that we’re the ones who suffer because of it all.
I lost my husband.
My children lost their father.
Our entire lives were altered because of someone else.
Someone who still hasn’t been brought to justice for his crime.
If this is living, then no, I’m not.
“I’m doing the best I can,” I say.
“Callum said he offered you his brother’s old position?” she asks, changing the subject.
Nicole watches me and I stare at her. I know that she’ll tell me I should take it. That Parker is old enough now to have his mother return to the workforce in full, and she’s right. It’s not because of him or Ava, but because I don’t know if I’m emotionally stable enough to do the job.
After another beat, Nicole’s lip turns into a slow smirk and her eyes roll.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I warn her.
“Like what?”
“That.”
She shrugs. “I’m taking it that you’ve formed some crappy excuse as to why you’re going to turn it down then?”
Nicole knows I once had aspirations. I was building an empire while Ava was in diapers. I was selling a lot of homes, getting contacts everywhere, and preparing to launch my own real estate agency once she was in school. Instead, Peter begged me to slow down because he was on the verge of becoming partner. His caseload was growing, and that meant less time at home. It would’ve worked out, but Ava became very ill as a baby, and she was in and out of the hospital. Which meant someone had to care for her. In other words, me.
Now I have to take care of Ava, Parker, and myself, without the benefit of a career. “I actually haven’t.”
“Haven’t what?”
“Decided to turn it down,” I inform her as I lean against the desk beside her.
Nic smiles. “Really?”
“I figure I suck at everything else in my life, might as well have one thing I can kick ass in. Plus, Ava will be starting college soon, if she’s not knocked up or in jail,” I sigh. “The life insurance money is going to need to go to that or a car. It makes sense for me to take a better position.”
Her head moves up and down slowly. “I’m impressed. I bet a month’s worth of blow jobs you wouldn’t take it.”
“You really didn’t have to tell me that.”
“It’s fine, I’ll take my punishment like a champ—in the ass.”
“Seriously don’t need to hear this.”
Nicole laughs. “Callum likes it when—”
“Stop!” I smack her arm. “He’s my boss and I seriously don’t need the imagery of you and him in my head when I have to convince him to do something in a meeting.”
“Well, I’m happy for you.” She nudges me.
“Thanks.” We sit here for a minute and reflect on how different our lives are. She’s married, has a kid, and it’s as though we’ve swapped places. I was married, with kids, happy, and now I’m single and trying to find my place in this world. “All right. I’m going to the office now to tell your husband.”
She kisses my cheek and gets up. “Go kick some ass and I’ll kick your daughter’s tonight.”
Here’s to hoping she kicks it in the right direction.
“I accept the position.”
“Brilliant.” Callum smiles. “I thought you might.”
“I would like to discuss the ability to work from home one day a week if I have to. If Parker gets sick or . . .”
Callum lifts his hand. “I know where you’re going with this, and my lovely wife would make my life quite difficult if I made yours miserable. I do expect you in the office more often than our current arrangement, though. That part I can’t negotiate, but I do understand that your situation is unique.”
“Of course,” I agree. “I know this new position means a greater workload. I’m willing and ready to carry that.”
“Wonderful.”
The financial increase will make my life a hundred times easier. We’ve done fine for the last year, but money goes fast when you’re spending and bringing very little in. Now, I’ll have a steady stream, which will allow me to replenish some of the savings I dipped into.
“All right then, you’ll need to hire an assistant to handle the measly tasks that I don’t need you working on anymore, and you’ll have full authority to replace anyone you don’t feel is a good fit for your division.”
And just like that, I feel different.
I’m not small time. I’m not building from the ground up. I’m owning this damn mountain, and I plan to make it rise from the earth.
“I’ll get right on it. Thank you, Callum.”
He stands, extending his hand. “Nonsense. You’re the right person for the job.”
I shake his hand and get to work.
The team doesn’t need to be shaken up at this time, but the fact that I can if I need to speaks volumes. What sucks is that I’m not replacing someone who has been working in the office for months. Flip side, I have no shoes to fill. I can make this position exactly what I want it to be.
A few hours pass. I’ve talked to our human resources manager, reviewed a dozen applications for assistants, and gave her back my top choices. Overall, I’m doing okay . . . until I check my email.
Holy shit.
What the hell?
In four hours I received over two hundred emails.
I start going through it all when my phone rings.
“Hello?”
“Good afternoon, is this Mrs. Bergen?” the sugary sweet voice asks.
“This is she.”
“This is Mrs. Crenshaw from Ava’s high school. We were calling because she wasn’t in her seventh period, but she wasn’t marked absent for the day.”
I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. “That would mean she ditched.”
This girl is going to military school at this rate.
Mrs. Crenshaw sighs. “I was afraid that was the case. I know she’s been struggling a bit this year, but she’s going to have to have disciplinary consequences.”
“Good,” I say, hoping she cares a little about that. Although, I don’t think she cares about anything at this rate. “Just don’t suspend her. Give her a month of Saturday detention or extra homework, but giving her time off school seems a little counterproductive, don’t you think?”
I never understood that. If you cut class, and then they suspend you, then the student wins. I’m all about making her suffer at this point. She’s already lost her phone and going out privileges. There’s not much more I can take away, other than my sanity.
“I’ll tell the vice principal your concerns.”
“Thank you. I plan to deal with her at home as well.”
“Good luck,” she chuckles softly.
God knows I need it.
Chapter Three
Danielle
“You don’t care about me anyway!” Ava screams as I take the television out of her room.
“Nope. I sure don’t,” I agree as I keep walking.
She skipped school, she gets nothing. It’s bare necessities for this kid. I tried the civil route. I asked her why, what was going on, if I could help, but she told me to go to hell. So, she’s going to find out what hell is like and spend some time there herself.
“I hate you!”
I turn, and nod. “Then I’m doing my job. You’re going to learn that life sucks, Ava. Rules, disappointment, and tragedy is a part of what we deal with daily. It’s not a free pass to act like this. If you’re pissed off because someone killed your father—you should be. You can feel it all, but in a healthy way. Skipping school, drinking, smoking, and whatever else you’re doing, aren’t the right choices. Make better ones and you can have the privileges back.”
Ava probably heard one tenth of that and then tuned me out, but I feel better having said it.
I send Kristin a text.
* * *
Me: Good luck when Finn becomes a teenager.
* * *
Kristin: Ava being a brat again?
* * *
Me: Again? When did she stop?
* * *