“Is that why you have kept him a secret?”
“I have not truly tried to hide him away. I was married after all so he would carry no taint of being a bastard and my reputation would not be hurt by his presence. Yet, I was so young when he was born that my family kept us both tucked away at Myrtledowns, watched over by my aunt Antigone as well as my cousin Tessa.” She blushed. “My milk did not come in and Tessa arrived with her five children, one still a babe in arms, to be Ilar’s wet nurse. She was with us for three years until her husband left the military and they bought a little farm not far from us. Aunt Antigone is still there, as she was a widow when she came and has stayed because she is very good at teaching Ilar control.
“By the time I was of an age to step out into society, and actually had an urge to go out in it from time to time, my marriage was forgotten by most people and no one appeared to know that I had had a child. We decided to leave it that way. No one in the family mentions my marriage or Ilar before anyone who is not family. I myself only mention my marriage when I feel that the information is needed to stop someone from pushing me to marry.” She grimaced. “I believe some people now hold the foolishly romantic idea that I buried my heart with my husband, Maynard. The only thing I buried with that man was my innocence and my wedding ring.”
“You have not forgiven him for what he did.” Brant was not surprised, would actually be surprised if she had done so.
“And I never will. I know people say one should, but I cannot, not even though I see my Ilar as my treasure, my heart. Maynard broke faith with us all, and used his gift to do so. You see, he did not merely help himself to my innocent body, he forced himself into my mind, ripping away all control I had. Worse, it nearly destroyed my trust in Argus for he has the same gift. I knew in my heart that Argus would never use his gift in that way but it took a long time before I could stop fearing my own brother. A long time. Even now, although I would trust Argus with my life, I often feel a little uncomfortable when he uses his gift.”
Brant patted her hand and then returned to sipping his coffee. “But what Maynard did has kept you from men, has it not?”
“I thought it had but”—she inwardly cursed when another blush heated her cheeks—“I now believe it was simply that no man truly roused my interest.”
“Until me.”
He looked so pleased with himself that Olympia briefly considered throwing a scone at his handsome head. Then she recalled how he had looked last night before they had made love. The look of teasing confidence that was now on his face, the glint of laughter in his eyes, was such a wonderful change from the hurt and despair that had been there, that she could not bring herself to dim it.
“Yes, until you.” Then again, she thought, no one would blame her for finding that confident male grin irritating enough to want to slap it right off his face. “Even then I feared that I might be so badly damaged that I would balk at that last hurdle. I have come to believe that the scars from that day were not as deep as I feared because Maynard had taken such firm hold of my will that I was actually unaware of what had happened until many moments after I awoke.” She shuddered. “I cannot understand, and probably never will, why he did it then for I was no better than a corpse, just a little warmer.”
Brant silently echoed her revulsion. “But, he is dead now, correct?”
“Oh, yes, quite dead. He was killed not long after we were married. He lived just long enough for all of the paperwork to be signed and verified protecting all that is rightfully Ilar’s. And to ensure that no one could ever question the legitimacy of that claim. I can see by the way you are nodding that you find such an action completely acceptable.”