Liesl squeezed my forearm. “If it’s any consolation, I miss her too. Wednesday dinner just wasn’t the same.”
“Mostly ‘cause you were so depressed,” Elliot muttered.
I shot him a venomous glare.
“You’re allowed to feel sad, man. We all knew how much you liked her.” AJ half smiled. “I’m really bummed she’s not coming to see me and Jae in the Spring Musical.”
I nodded. “Show’s tonight, right?”
“Second to last performance.”
Crap, I usually tried to get to all of them. I shot them a guilty smile. “I’ll be there tonight.” I wanted to add, I promise, but I couldn’t. I was quickly learning that life could knock me off my feet before I saw it coming. I didn’t want to promise anything anymore.
Thinking of Dani made me ache all over. Where had she run to? How was she surviving? Was she conning again, pretending to be something she’s not? She told me she hated that, that she’d always felt forced into it.
I was her out.
Why the hell did she leave me?
My flash of anger died quickly. The reasons why she left didn’t matter. I was worried about her. Scared she’d get into some situation she couldn’t handle. We had been her safety net and she jumped straight out of it.
Why?
To protect me maybe?
Damn, I felt like scum. I should have just kept my mouth shut.
Elliot slapped my shoulder, bringing me back to the conversation. “You know it’s probably for the best, man. You didn’t know her that well.”
I shrugged his hand off. “I knew her better than you think.”
“What do you mean?”
“It doesn’t matter.” I shrugged, picking at the table. Jaeda placed an apple next to my hand, but all I could see was Dani’s longer fingers feeding me a piece. The image stole my hunger. I shook my head and passed it back to her.
“We’re friends, man. We want to help you.”
“Really?” I snapped at Elliot. “So you going off at me because I was spending too much time with Dani was helpful? Is that it? You’re happy she’s gone, aren’t you?”
Elliot shifted in his seat. “I don’t like that you’re so upset about it, but yeah. I mean she was messing with you…with all of us. She was a liar, Zach. You can’t deny that.”
“She had her reasons.”
“What were they?”
“You know what!” I slammed the table. “I don’t have to explain her to you or anybody. She trusted me to keep her secrets and I did, because I care about her. I’ve never felt this way about a girl before.”
Elliot opened his mouth to speak, but I raised my finger.
“And don’t tell me about my past girlfriends, because I know. Dani was different. And now she’s gone and I can’t get her back! And I hate it!” I pressed my fists into the table. “And you sitting there telling me it’s a good thing is not helping. You guys just don’t get it.”
“So help us to understand then.” Elliot’s terse reply messed with my hackles. They shot up, making me stand and grab my bag.
“Forget it. You wouldn’t understand anyway.”
I walked away and didn’t look back.
There was no way I was admitting to them that the girl I had fallen for was a con artist. They’d roll their eyes and tell me that love was blind, that she’d played me and her departure was a saving grace. I’d been saved from further torment.
But I hadn’t. Her leaving had thrown me into the biggest torment I’d ever known and the worst part was, I knew I’d just have to learn to live with it.
Chapter 32
LUCY
February 2014
Lucy opened her eyes with a gasp and shivered. Nightmares still plagued her, images of bloodied faces and lifeless eyes. The dreams always ended with a pair of pale green orbs boring into her, reminding her that it was only a matter of time.
She pulled in a sharp breath and rubbed her eyes, reminding herself it was a new day. She was alive and right this second, he didn’t know where she was.